2. Soto signs with Dodgers with sleazy, deferred payments that prompt MLB to nullify deal. Chaos ensues. Yanks keep Soto, launching new dynasty.
3. Yanks sign Soto with no money left to fill roster. Team goes with rookies, who become stars, dynasty, etc.
4. Padres or Nats - doesn't matter - sign Soto at ridiculous price. Yanks still rule the cupcake AL East. Wild card dynasty.
5. Blue Jays sign Soto at ridiculous price, rule AL East for 10 years, while Yanks impress world with frugality.
6. Mets sign Soto at ridiculous price, which Yanks could have matched, making them NYC's other team for next 10 years.
7. Redsocks sign Soto at ridiculous price, which Yanks needed to match, leaving them also rans in AL East for next few years.
8. Soto signs with Dodgers with sleazy deferred payments, launching dynasty, triggering wave of horrible Cashman signings, which cause Yankee collapse in 2025.
9. Yanks sign Soto, Judge feels slighted, Cole leaves, no money left for roster, wave of bad Cashman deals, and then - on top of everything - Soto blows out his back and sucks.
10. Yanks lose Soto to Mets or Redsocks, triggering bad Cashman signings and bad Cashman deals, no money for roster, and for next 12 years, as our rivals celebrate, we watch and wonder what we were thinking? as Soto's price tag looks less outlandish. And the Dodgers keep cooking their books.
11) Dodgers sign Soto with nefarious deferred payments and win 3 more championships, but Juan opts out after 3 years because his accountants reveal the LA team will be insolvent in year 6. Soto is the center of another bidding war and signed by the Red Sox, who win the AL East and World Series twice in three years only to opt out again because his private investigators find the Boston team is behind the racist slur campaign against him to rid themselves of his financial burden now that their fans are sated.
ReplyDeleteNow, at age 31, Soto finally re-signs with the Yankees and promptly gets ill.
ALS 's more common name gets changed from Lou Gehrig's Disease to Juan Soto Syndrome.
Those are pretty damned good, Duque, Carl. Duque, also loved the worst historical moves. One small correction: when Soto goes to the Mets, they won't just be NYC's town for the next 10 years. More like 20, at least. Steven Cohen is a mere stripling of 68, who looks to be in rude good health, as they used to say. David Stearns turns 40...next February. The Flushing team will dominate until after all of us have shuffled—or, in my case, soft-shoed—off this mortal coil.
ReplyDeleteI finding it difficult to care. Where is my anger? Where is orange?
ReplyDeleteWhere is my command of my native tongue??
ReplyDeleteI AM* finding it difficult to care. Where is my anger? Where is orange?
Oh bother...
ReplyDeleteWhere is my command of my native tongue??
I AM* finding it difficult to care. Where is my anger? Where is my rage*?
Orange is just west of East Orange, east of West Orange, and north of South Orange. And...orange you glad I didn't say banana? (My favorite knock-knock joke.)
ReplyDeleteI’m also a Giants fan, so I can take whatever they dish out
ReplyDeleteFrom X:
ReplyDeleteCelsius is owned by PepsiCo. Pepsi is the official sponsor of the New York Yankees. The Boston Red Sox, New York Mets Toronto Blue Jays and Los Angeles Dodgers are all sponsored by Coca-Cola.
˚˚˚ Celsius ˚˚˚ Pepsi ˚˚˚ ¥ankee$ ˚˚˚ So†o ˚˚˚ is there a relationship?
DeleteI was watching an old Letterman from 1985 that had a lot of the original commercials. A McDonald's Value Meal was promoted at $2.49. Burger, fries, pie, soda. $2.49. In the late 80s, I could grab a taxi at 50th and Second Ave. and ride all the way home to 10th St. and Avenue A for $5. Including tip.
ReplyDeleteBack in 1977, Reggie signed with the Yanks for $2.96 million for five years. Mike Schmidt was baseball's highest paid player in 1985, $2.1 million for that year.
Everything has gone up. A lot. I wonder...if Soto gets, say, $50 million a year, will that seem kind of puny 40 years from now? Probably. Unless we get Great Depression II: 10 Cents a Loaf. (Day old, 5 cents.)
The Yankees' payroll-to-revenue ratio is a nothing to brag about, at 52%. With luxury taxes included, we're 12th in MLB as of 2023. You know who we're tied with? The Twins. The. Twins.
And the Mets? In 2023, their payroll was 102% or revenue. Yes, Cohen did some stupid stuff with his money last year, but still. Their revenue was only about 60% of ours, but they outspent us by $75 million, $440 million to our paltry $375 million.
So, Hal. How is a $300 million payroll "not sustainable"? You raked in $720 million in 2023. Probably a chunk more this year. You can't manage to spend 40% of that on players? Really? What, are you still paying off Cashman's stalker? Or his ex-wife?
The Steinbrenners own 70% of the Yankees. That's 70% or 6 or 7 billion dollars or whatever.
Brown bag your lunch for a couple of days, Hal, and sign Soto and every other high-value free agent you can. Out-Dodger the Dodgers. Go nuts. It's an investment, and a good one. You'll end up making more money than the gaudy, ridiculous amount you make now.
coffee is good for the soul
Deleteit lifts you up out of the hole
like daylight blinding a mole
time to read the daily scroll
and eat something out of a bowl
"Where is orange?" is a great koan.
ReplyDelete