In an infinitesimal netherworld, the Yankees just replaced Allan Winans with Owen White

Ever wonder WTF's happening in the incalculable, micro-depths of the Yankiverse? You know - the ever-changing pinprick of infinity that only exists in theory? That mythical dimension, somewhere between Brigadoon Refsnyder and Zolio Almonte, where time and space no longer mingle, where Yankee quarks remain in constant motion, and where known laws of nature no longer apply. You know, like D.C. 

Yesterday, an asteroid blasted a massive upheaval into this fantastical conundrum of non-existence. 

The Yankees waived Allan Winans and replaced him with Owen "The Omen" White.

Keep in mind that Yankee scientists had not yet confirmed the existence of Allan Winans, beyond signs of an algorithmic pull in the farthest reaches of the rotation. Depending on your source, Winans was either 9th or 10th on the depth chart, beyond the asteroid belt of Will Warren/Clayton Beeter. 

A former substitute teacher at Bakersfield High School, his alma mater, Winans became a Yankee on Jan. 23. A 29-year-old RH pitcher, who started two games for Atlanta last year, with an ERA of 15.25 - (not a typo) - he held the Yankee roster spot for 14 days. Yesterday, it ended. He was jettisoned.

He is replaced - for now, anyway - by White, a 25-year-old former North Carolina high school legend, selected by Texas in the 2nd round of the 2018 draft. After signing, instead of rookie ball, White was sent to a Rangers internment re-education camp. He tore an elbow, underwent Tommy John surgery, and missed the 2019 season.

He then missed 2020, which was canceled by Covid. 

In 2021, he celebrated his first professional game by falling and fracturing his hand. (Are we sensing something ?)  

In 2021, White went to the Arizona Fall League and dominated. He won AFL Pitcher of the Year, (over 28 innings.) In 2022, he soared through the Texas farm system, until - of course - straining his forearm. That year, he was ranked No. 59 on the Baseball America Top 100 Prospects list. He pitched in a Futures Game. In 2023, he made the Rangers 40-man roster. He was on the way!

In spring training, he strained his neck and was shipped out. Since then, he's been twice promoted to the bigs, pitching in three Rangers games last year, with an ERA of - gulp - 24.00. (Not a typo.) 

On December 20, the Rangers waived White, so they could sign 34-year-old Hoby Milner, who - it should be noted - on opening day of 2020, on his first-ever pitch as an Angel, gave up a grand slam.

On Jan. 6, the Rangers traded White to Cincinnati. 

On Jan. 29, the Reds waived him. 

Yesterday, he became a Yankee. 

Scientists who study theoretical physics claim that subatomic particles never stop moving, and seem to be predestined on trajectories that exist beyond time.  

I believe this is proven by the journey of Owen White. 

Welcome, sir. You were always meant to be a Yankee. Maybe through next week?