Wednesday, October 22, 2025

"No Kings?" This winter, the Yankees ought to make an exception

Should we send an A.I. video of dropping feces on Toronto?
The best free agent starting pitcher this winter could be an old Yankee pal. 

Soon after the Tokyo Dodgers beat Outer Buffalo in the world series - probably ate next week -  Michael King will opt out of his contract with the Padres and head to free agency.  

King, whom the Yankees dealt to San Diego for the one-year blood rental of He Who Shalt Not Be Named, will turn 31 in late May. 

Thus, this upcoming auction represents his best - and maybe final - chance to cash out with the lake house and old folks pontoon. Considering that he's from Rochester - ancient Yankee fan territory, sorta our Donbas - the lone obstacle to King signing with Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner is - well - Food Stamps. Hal never wants to pay "antique" prices for what he believes should be garage sale furniture.

And if Hal gets into a bidding war with Steve Cohen, I think we all know who will win. 

Nothing puts a gleam in the eye of P.T. Cohen more than stealing popular ex-Yankees. Close your eyes, and it's easy to imagine both King and Luke Weaver pitching for the Mets, while the Yankees counter with some Cashman-found, Freddie Garcia, small market retread, obtained in a disastrous trade. (I fear watching Caleb Durbin play for many years in Milwaukee, while Devin Williams - whom the Gammonites viewed as a Louvre-like steal - disappears into the NL or AL Central.)

Last year, King was one of baseball's best pitchers through his first 10 starts. Then he pinched a nerve, missed a month, and returned for one start, when he hurt his knee. A near total washout. He finished with a 3.44 ERA over 73 innings. The Yankees ought to start with King, and then start stockpiling relievers. This might turn out to be the last winter in which the Yankees can use their money. (Next winter, an excruciating labor work stoppage is almost assured.) 

No Kings? I say, just one. Michael. Wait... is Mel Queen still available? 


 

21 comments:

  1. Ask Met fans about Frankie Montas...

    ReplyDelete
  2. For me, it’s not the money but the length of the deal.

    Glad to see we’re finally talking about the facr there may be no baseball in 2027.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I heard a rumor that Hal will soon be suing this blog for $ 230 million for unfairly targeting him over the last decade.

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  4. In honor of Hoss:

    A bland nepo baby named Harold.
    His pa stretched him over a barrel
    Owned a team that he hated
    But so it was fated
    While we minions wearily caroled.

    ReplyDelete
  5. And my final opus for the morning, soon off to the urologist. What a fun day!

    Boonie, McBoonie, Oh Boonie!
    You’re taller than old Mickey Rooney.
    You had a home run,
    Flew too close to the sun
    And now you’re a tumbling Gooney.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I prefer haikus.
    They take less effort, just like
    The Haiku Yankees

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Urologists Rock !
      Or perhaps I should say Stone !
      Urinate or Nine


      Delete
    2. I wish there was a like button here.
      👍🫵🖖

      Delete
  7. 13 - The nepo one works just fine. Nice save..

    If I may help the Boone one. :)

    You tried out a limerick 'bout Boonie.
    Who, when it counts, comes up shorter than Rooney
    Once hit a home run
    Now he works for the son.
    His decisions drive all of us loony.

    Also, barrel rhymes with Mike Farrell. Good luck with that.

    ReplyDelete
  8. As long as I apparently have little to do today here are some royal names to add to the list...

    Manager Earl Weaver
    Bench Coach Whitey Herzog (Herzog is Russian for Duke)
    Pitcher John “The Count” Montefusco
    1B Prince Fielder
    2B Ray Knight
    RF Tony Barron
    CF Duke Snyder
    LF Marquis Grissom

    Stretch: Johnny Damyon

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  9. And a Mel Queen reference! Fun fact: Mel Queen's father, Mel "Dowager" Queen came up to the Yankees during WW II. He actually went 6-3, 3.31, with a shutout, in 10 starts in 1944. But then, like the Young Queen, his arm went or something, and the Yanks sold him to a wretched Pirates team.

    Also...the Young Queen was a brother-in-law of Jim Lonborg. TWO fun facts!

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  10. As for King...I always loved the guy (even when no one here did). But two injuries, and he's 31? It should be a very limited contract.

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  11. Duque, I think you're off on this one. Over 30 and oft injured? I'll pass. We gotta find a different route.

    ReplyDelete
  12. A Classy Haiku

    The Dodgers suck dick.
    Toronto also sucks dick,
    But we root for them..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so ugly
      I will never root for them
      I have but one team

      Delete
  13. Not my best work, but here goes:

    Once was a nepo from Tampa
    Whose wealth was from dad and his Grampa
    He loved his red hat
    His team played like crap
    Their future is now in the hampa

    ReplyDelete

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