Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff,
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp,
Your curtains caught fire from a knocked-over lamp —
. Relax!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp —
. Smile!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
DC’s infected by grifters and tramps,
Pushing democracy off a steep ramp,
But they are outnumbered and we are the champs —
. Keep the faith!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Thank you IKE!
ReplyDeleteSkiing in Banff and skating on Lake Louise in the dead of winter are wonderful experiences despite the cold.
ReplyDeleteI salute you, Ike! While Hal in Kinky Boots WAS camp, pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE to visit Banff and Lake Louise in winter, though camping has fallen by the wayside. I've loved this winter, but the midwest hasn't gotten as socked as you out east.
ReplyDeleteWell done Ike!
ReplyDeleteI humbly submit the following for the IIHIIF crowd…
When young women see you they now call you Gramps
You forget what you’re saying and end up forced to vamp
Your favorite band... is now Supertramp.
Relax
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
In order to hear you first turn up your amp
You refer to anyone under 50 as, “That young scamp!”
You no longer wear Haines but something called “Pamps”
Relax
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
In regards to people under 50, the Missus laughed at me when I referred to a former co-worker as "a good kid".
DeleteHe's 46.
Thanks, Doug. The audience likes to be called out, like when Spinal Tap mentions the name of your hometown!
DeleteBrilliant, Ike! And a sweet add-on, Doug.
ReplyDeleteCan't tell you how many times I get offered a seat on the subway now. And you know what? I take it!