The restart of the clock.
The reboot of time.
The impending new reality.
Get away from the windows.
Ten Predictions of What's Ahead...
1. The Yankees - aka Our Antiques Road Show - will win 86 regular season games, enough to secure the final wild card slot. This will result from a second-half infusion of Gerrit Cole, Carlos Rodon and Clarke Schmidt, along with one rising young starter. (I'll get to that later.)
2. Ben Rice will break out, make the AL all-star roster, and play an honest 1B. He will hit 36 HRs and bat .280. His opportunities will come after Paul Goldschmidt tweaks a gonad, forcing the Yankees to trust in youth.
3. Cole will win 9 games. Due to occasional poundings, his ERA will hover around 4.00, but when he's on, he will show dominating command.
4. Aaron Judge will suffer, as the cops say, multiple contusions and lacerations. He'll play about 100 games. Without him, the Yankees will play below .500. He will still hit 40 HRs and lead the team in offense. (Giancarlo, of course, will be injured 3/4 of the season. That's no prediction. It's just fact.)
5. When Judge goes down, Spencer Jones will be promoted from Scranton. He will take over in CF, with Trent Grisham moving to right. Jones will hit 21 HRs in about 50 games, becoming the new version of Joey Gallo/Shane Spencer/Kevin Maas. Yank fans will adore him, until he goes 0-15 in the postseason.
6. The Martian, aka Jasson Dominguez, will start slowly in Scranton and then fall into a deeper funk when the Yankees bypass him to promote Jones. He will be traded at the deadline for bullpen slop, probably to a team in the NL West, as far away as possible. There, he will cobble together a decent career, though he'll never the next Mickey Mantle, as he was so horribly touted. Someday, long after he is a memory - (as we shall be, too) - the Martian will be remembered for his nickname and his fate: Just another a good-looking prospect who was eaten alive by the Yankee pressure cookier.
7. The Yankees will finish third in the AL East, behind Boston and Baltimore, both of whom made a commitment to youth, which finally paid off.
8. The Yankees will unveil a hopeful threesome of pitching prosects: Cam Schlittler, Elmer Rodriguez and Carlos Lagrange - the greatest potential trio since Ian Kennedy, Phil Phranchise and Joba. One will suffer elbow issues, one will disappoint, and one will excel. If you're lucky, you get one out of three. If. You're. Lucky.
9. Jose Caballero will play a dutiful SS until mid-June, when he is replaced by Anthony Volpe. The new Volpe - featuring a new bat and rejiggered stance - will hit for two weeks, then fall into the floundering pit where he always ends up. By September, the SS will be Ryan McMahon. (Of, if we're lucky, George Lombard Jr.)
10. The Dodgers, of course, will win it all. They'll outlast the Mets in the NLCS, the de facto world series. Why would anybody think differently?
Play ball. (And get your predictions in.)
Too many of these smack of the truth. When we should be smacking Cashman. He's the worst genius GM of all time.
ReplyDeleteBoone, of course, is an idiot. He should wear inflatable shoes and a round red nose that honks when you squeeze it.
i think, though, that Cole will surprise us and be very good to excellent in his shortened season. He's been hanging out with Stanton, unscrewing the lids on jars of peanut butter and pickles. And Nutella for little Volpe.
There's no way I'll stay up tonight. 8 pm is 1am here (it would be 2, but we still haven't changed to Daylight Savings Time in Deutschmekerstan). Will Netflix leave the game up to watch later? Or will YES get dibs for overnight/next day broadcasts? Or neither?
The Mets will be very lucky to make the playoffs, given their pitching, especially the starters. I'm not impressed by their lineup, either. They might have added Bichette, but they also lost Pete Alonzo. Unless they make some decent trades for a dominant starter or two (Think Skubal or Skenes), they will be hard-pressed to get to the postseason. Even in the diluted NL.
ReplyDeleteAfter consuming a six shots of espresso diluted with three shots of the latest tequila, I’ve looked into my crystal ball (I think that’s what it was) and saw the following:
ReplyDeleteYankees win 94 games
Uncle Ben will hit 29
And Cole will return to win 13 games
The Yankees win the AL East as all the vaunted kids from Baltimore and Boston forget to have their diapers changed and find out that 162 games is a long long time
One more prediction:
ReplyDeleteI predict that in early June, interstellar portals will begin to emerge all across the globe. One will appear in the Yankees outfield, during a game against the Guardians. The fissure will swallow Trent G, and although he will survive, he sadly will never be the same.
Hopefully I will sober up tomorrow to find the Yankees atop the standings for at least one day.
ReplyDeleteI further predict that Max will win 23 and My Favorite Martian will rise to hit 23 dingers as he begins a ten-year career as one of the great Yankees center fielder of all time (not THE greatest, but damn good nonetheless)