Wednesday, March 25, 2026

WE'RE NUMBER THREE! WE'RE NUMBER THREE! WE'RE NUMBER...oh fuck it


 If, if, if...every team, every year, could be great. If. If everyone hits, if all the pitchers are lights out, if baserunners and fielders don't make a lot of mistakes and dunderheaded plays, if the manager had a brain.

He could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers, consultin' with the rain. And his head he'd be scratchin' while his thoughts were busy hatchin', if he only had a brain.

And you know, he makes out the lineups himself, so we know who to blame for not having a brain.

If I was 20 years old and had a 100 mph fastball and 98 mph slider and could hit .450, I'd be playing big-league ball.

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming you, you'll be a man, my son. Or something.

Don't ask me, ask Kipling. As Slim Pickens said, I'm working for Mel Brooks.

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