Great Conflicts of HISTORY, Hisssstory, hissssstory

Once again, the mighty empires of Tampa Bay and New York met on the field of battle.


Once again, war loomed over the peaceful countryside like a, like a, um ... like a looming wartime gloom.


It began on a sun-washed glade when two mighty warriors, Elliot Johnson, son of Jacob Johnson of Saxony (er, make that Tampa Bay), crashed into Francisco Cervantes Cervelli, the mighty Yankee home protector, during a game on Saturday.


Cervelli the Great, was slayed on the field of battle (and he might have even broken his wrist!) and great armies from Tampa and New York were amassed to right this wrong.


“I think it’s uncalled for in spring training," declared emperor Joseph Girardi of New York. "You get people hurt and that’s what we got, we got Cervelli hurt.”


To which the Baron of Tampa Bay Joe Maddon replyeth: "We're playing it hard, we're playing it right. It was a bang-bang play at the plate."


Soldiers from New York took up arms.

Pikemen from the Duchy of Tampa were called unto battle.


The armies are poised.

Who knoweth what may happen next!