To the Yankiverse:We hereby call for a violent overthrow not only of the U.S. and world governments, but of the entire American and Western Civilization culture. Goddammot, this cost-cutting crapola has gone too far!
We didn't want this. No. But the bastards have forced our hands. Right now, news from the Daily Planet is that our precious proposed Yankee Steakhouse is dangling on the top of the Washington Monument, ready to fall to its death and signify the end of all that this great and once glorious country once stood.
Take to the streets! Burn down the mission, if you wanna stay alive!
Whines the Planet:
The Yankees' $95 million in extras includes $14.2 million for a scoreboard, $10.7million for a giant video board and $10.4 million in luxury suite upgrades. The team wants more money to make room for two restaurants, a New York Yankees Steakhouse and a Hard Rock Cafe.
"It's terrific that they want to have a Hard Rock Cafe and a steakhouse there, but why should the taxpayer pay for that?" [Assemblyman] Richard Brodsky asked.
Goddammm you, Brodsky, you beansprout-eating punk. Why would the taxpayer pay for that? To eat steak, you chopsticks-using twattworm! To sit at a table, drink a beer, light a cigar, size up the waitress and order a goddamm 5-inch thick porterhouse that's bigger than a supermodel's back... that's why!
Ooooh, you oil cans of Washington and Albany, you're trying to steal the only steakhouse ever planned for Yankeee Stadium, the Steakhouse that Ruth Built -- and for what? To save money. Dirty money. Cheap money. Smelly money... Dough, bread, curm, roilcake, uuuuoa, doigma... well, choke on your salads. You want CC Sabathia to pitch on tofu?
Leave our steakhouse intact. Or you will get charred. You are touching a burner that you do not want to touch. Mwah-ha-ha-ha.
NO PRIME RIB, NO PEACE!
NO PRIME RIB, NO PEACE!
NO PRIME RIB, NO PEACE!
J&R must be having some after-Christmas specials for those big TV screens. A good place to save some keenge. (My entry in the money slang contest)
ReplyDeleteDuque...
ReplyDeleteDo not concern yourself. I have spoken with Mayor Bloomberg and he is cool on the funding.
He has dismissed those voices from the chorus crying "outrage," and we are ready to dine.
By the way, do you order prime ribs or steak when you go to The Homestead?
What would Manny order?
Manny would order the waitress.
ReplyDeleteHere's what I want to know about the steakhouse. Will they have a To-Go counter? I'd like to be able to bring my porterhouse and smashed potatoes to my seat.
ReplyDelete