Matlock: A-Rod Wore My Sweater In Gammons Interview

In a report that is sending shockwaves through nursing homes and hospice facilities across America, beloved television actor Andy Griffith told reporters earlier this morning that "Alex Rodriguez wore my favorite blue sweater" during his interview with ESPN's Peter Gammons.

Griffith, 82, said that he's owned the sweater "for over 50 years" and that "it's the most comfortable piece of clothing I've ever owned."

He continued, "and I want it back, Goddammit."

The purported sweater heist is another strange turn in the 'A-Roid' saga and has the potential to, as Mr. Griffith put it, "totally destroy any goodwill that Mr. Rodriguez has left with senior citizens in this country."

Rodriguez (pictured below in the sweater at issue) has denied any involvement in the matter. He said he purchased the sweater at a local yard sale "some time in 2001, '02, or '03."

For many residents at the Happy Pastures Senior Center in Huntington Station, NY, Rodriguez's explanation isn't good enough. "I will go to my grave believing everything that Matlock, I mean Mr. Griffith, has to say. He is a decent man, and this Rodriguez is a lousy ball player," said Mort Pomeranz, 93. Leticia Thorne, 87, agreed. "Just give the man his blue sweater back, please. We've still got 6 weeks of winter to suffer through, for God's sake."