Yankeetorial: The Redsocks Want an MLB Salary Cap? Let's guess: They want a limit at $147.1 million

Don't get the wrong idea. We're not accusing the Socks of anything fishy.

They merely want to restore competitive balance, equal rivalries, blahblahblah, all that good stuff, to baseball.

In fact, if team salaries were capped at -- oh, let's say -- $150 million, everybody could compete. It would be hell on Boston, just $3 million of wriggle room. That would mean freezing current salaries and limiting innings for Capt. Varitek, due to contract incentives.

But this could bring about the long-awaited breakthrough for MLB owners, who have watched the Yankees ruin everything. Not only did New York outbid for free agents, but the Yankees virtually bought third place in the AL East last year.

Just ain't fair.

Time to cap the well. Break up this Yank dynasty. Thank God there are noble organizations out there, pure as mother's milk, such as the Redsocks -- untainted, like Dakota Fanning -- who can lead the charge against drugs, corruption and the overpaying of players.

Think there's a kiddie porn angle that someone can link to the Yanks? Did we maybe supply nuclear materials to Iran, or plant octo-eggs in various wackjob food stamps recipients? Can we get an investigation going, any investigation -- who cares what it's about? -- because the only way baseball can deal with a problem is by focusing on one player or team, hoisting it naked for everyone to see, then burning the male witch at the stake. The Redsocks have gasoline and a match. Enough is enough. They want a salary cap. Bet they researched it. Let's guess the number they've calculated...