Senator Sessions: Thank you for coming, Judge Sotomayor. Let me get to the questions. In 1995, your ruling against the owners pushed baseball to end its strike and play ball. Am I correct?
Sotomayor: Yes sir. I'm proud of that ruling.
Sessions: In other words, you sided with Carl Pavano?
Sotomayor: Well, in a way...
Sessions: You had a choice between Carl Pavano, the do-nothing slob whom the Yankees signed for $27 million, and Gene Autry, a truly great cowboy who sang "Here Comes Peter Cottontail," and you sided with the likes of Pavano. Am I correct?
Sotomayor: It was a rule of law.
Sessions: Isn't it true that Carl Pavano pitched 11 innings in 2007, even though he was paid $10 million?
Sotomayor: I don't... it... I don't remember.
Sessions: YOU DON'T REMEMBER? YOU FORGOT CARL PAVANO? ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Sotomayor: Yes. It is true.
Sessions: YOU CLAIM TO BE A YANKEE FAN. YOU PAVED THE WAY FOR CARL PAVANO TO BECOME A YANKEE! Twenty-seven million dollars down the drain! And what about last night, Judge Sotomayor? What happened last night?
Senator Schumer: I object to this line of questioning! The nominee is not responsible for the collapse of the Yankee bullpen last night in Texas!
Sotomayor: They sucked last night. I'm not afraid to say it. They sucked.
Sessions: Your team was in the game until the sixth. How much did you spend on bullpens, leaky bullpens, thanks to your 1995 ruling? Ever calculate how much?
Schumer: I object to the Yankee bullpen!
Sotomayor: The ruling didn't cause Yankee bullpens to be so lame. It was the lack of oversight for the last eight years. My ruling brought a string of four World Championships and the likes of Mariano Rivera-
GOP Senators: CARL PAVANO! CARL PAVANO! CARL PAVANO!
Democrat Senators: MARIANO! MARIANO! MARIANO!
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Senator Specter: Order! Order! Let the nominee speak. Judge Sotomayor, do you have anything to say in your defense about Carl Pavano?
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Sotomayor: He pitched well as a Marlin.
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