1. Our first pick will be a "steal," with the team expressing disbelief that he was still available.
2. He will have always wanted to play for the Yankees.
3. He will deny rumors that his elbow might require surgery.
4. He will direct questions to his agent, Scott Boras.
5. An unnamed scout will tell the Boston Globe our pick was not in his top 200.
6. Some ninth or tenth round pick will be hailed as a great "above the slot" selection, meaning every team in baseball had nine rounds to take him, but only we were smart enough to pay first round money for him.
7. At least, one pick will be a genetic mutation -- a 7-footer, ambidextrous or half-lizard.
8. Though "a natural," our top pick will have to be completely revamped by Nardi Contreras.
9. Every Yankee blog will be disappointed that we didn't take the guy they wanted, and if our pick tanks, they will always note how their choice was better.
10. After the draft, we will secretly recognize our only real hope: Throw twice as much money onto the upcoming free-for-all meat auction of Latino 16-year-olds.
11. Our top pick will go on to an undistinguished career in the NFL.
ReplyDeleteI think you;ve got it down.
ReplyDeleteBut you failed to add; we'll sign that first round steal for $200 million.
In fact, I predict that we'll get that pitcher ( 100mph + on FB ) for that price, after every other team takes a pass on him.
He'll join Andy ( the Giant ) Brackman in Charleston, two years from now when he has his arm re-attached.
Not for nothing, but I am combing the Independent South Mexican Dirt field League for prospects...I have one 26 year old who looks really good.
But she doesn't speak English.
Fonz, if she says she's 26, she's probably 14. It's kind of the reverse of Dominican *baseball* prospects.
ReplyDeleteNot that there's anything wrong with that.
Er... actually, there is something wrong with that.
International FA Draft thing is much more exciting considering we pick 1st there every time
ReplyDelete