All-Star Count: 3 Yankees, 2.5 former Yankees

Current Yank All-Stars: Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Mark Teixiera

Former Yank All-Stars: Ted Lilly, Carlos Pena, Christian Guzman (who is in final player Internet poll.)

That goddamm Lilly has embarrassed us for seven years. In case you're scoring at home, we stole him and Jake Westbrook (and Christian Parker, a promising pitcher cut down by injury) from Montreal in 2000 for the fat pussy toad, Hideki Igawa, Irabu, whatever. This could have been Cashman's greatest deal, his Heathcliff Slocum swindle, his Seward purchase. It's not.

The reason: Two years later, we traded Lilly to the A's, via Detroit, for Jeff Weaver. (The Tigers, by the way -- byyyy the wayyyyy -- received Carlos Pena.)

OK, bad trades are part of baseball. Nobody's perfect. Everybody applauded it at the time. (Brownnosers.) But that Weaver deal murdered us. Not only did we waste two years waiting for the bejeweled bozo to emerge, but we surrendered Lilly, whose been a rock everywhere he's gone. (And remember: When Jeet got hit by California, Lilly went a-headhuntin,' and the Angel beanballs ended.)

We pissed away Westbrook, let Pena slip through our hands, then suffered the indignity of watching Weaver pitch St. Louis to a World Series.

What is it they say about a bad penny? It's worse than a Brad Penny.