We always knew this time would come.
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We must now ponder perhaps the most critical Yankee Employee of the Month award in history.
As we do so, we consider the following matters:
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Is there an IIHIIFIIc curse, or are the unkind fates that befell past recipients mere manifestations of anecdote and poppycock?
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If there is a true curse, an explainable wrinkle within the known fabric of reality, should we fear it... or conquer it?
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What Yankee employee did his work in such a way that he, or she, deserves to be bestowed with the honor of YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH -- (YEM.)
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These are the questions.
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Nominees...?
Mike Scioscia - for making more dumb moves than Joe G
ReplyDeleteKate Hudson..
ReplyDeleteMLB umpires
ReplyDeletePete Abe.
ReplyDeleteLandslide... IF the election is free and fair!
That's right. I'm talking to you, el Dickhead!
El Capitan! Hes been amazing and hes going to does something so amazing in the WS that John will be flabbergasted
ReplyDeleteThe Anaheim Crying Girl.
ReplyDeleteMichael Kay - letting other people use your booth is very a difficult thing to do.
ReplyDeleteTim McCarver
ReplyDeleteAnaheim Crying Girl, or Bernie Williams for throwing out the ALCS game winning first pitch.
ReplyDeleteChad Gaudin
ReplyDeleteIt has to be Kate Hudson.
ReplyDeleteIf he shows up to the WS game 1 and inspires the Yankees to win - George M Steinbrenner III.
ReplyDeleteBobby Abreu
ReplyDeleteMight as well curse Ryan Howard, Cliff Lee or Brad Lidge.
ReplyDelete"Posthumous-Pete" Abraham
ReplyDeletePedro Martinez
ReplyDeleteFreddy Guzman.
ReplyDeleteSpeed kills.
If he gets cursed, the downside is minimal because it is unlikely he'll play.
If he is a hero, we'll all be happy.
If he doesn't make the WS roster, we won't be surprised.
He is a Yankee at least.
If he gets sent back to Scranton for the remainder of his career, he had a hell of a pretend ride. And carrying our accolade as YOTM back to the coal mines will be his fondest baseball memory.
No one can take that away from him.
Captain Lou or Matthew Welling (http://www.lohud.com/article/20091021/NEWS02/910210388/Red-Sox-fan-donates-marrow-to-Westchester-Yankees-fan), at 3 yrs old his body rejected a Boston fans donation that could have saved him.
ReplyDeleteListenup you guys: I say it needs to be a Yankee employee.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the wife or squeeze of a Yankee employee -- Kate and/or Minka -- but we have to have parameters. Otherwise, this contest won't mean anything.
Besides, I think it's an insult to have to go outside the organization -- even if there is a curse and the winner is destined to die, as a result. I would prefer, at least, to know the unlucky victim could put it on his coffin that he/she had once been declared YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
Kate Hudson is an obvious choice. She needs to be on the poll, and you need to make her win, duque.
ReplyDeleteDuque, can you prove the Yankees didn't pay Anaheim Crying Girl?
ReplyDeleteBullpen Coach Mike Harkey. Someone had to efficiently and effectively get all that talent warmed up in time for their nightly .1 innings of relief.
ReplyDeleteKei Igawa. Just for the sake of the hat trick.
ReplyDeleteChad Gaudin.
ReplyDeleteGuzman is the safe choice (jinxwise) and he actually appeared on a baseball field.
ReplyDeleteFor game impact, you've gotta go with Hudson, unless you want to pick A-Rod directly.
Wait, you have standards now?
ReplyDeletePosthumous Honorary Employee of the Month: Soupy Sales
ReplyDeleteEveryone is saying Kate Hudson is an obvious choice, BUT I say Minka Kelly should be in the nominations as well. She has revitalized Jeter in a way that neither Jessica Biel nor Vanessa Minnillo were able to do.
ReplyDeleteKei Igawa
ReplyDeleteThe Anaheim Crying Girl
Mike Scioscia
kate hudson's vagina
ReplyDeleteMarte, of course
ReplyDeleteHe got snubbed out of the ALCS MVP
Minka & Kate can battle it out when we give the IIH Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not saying they can't be nominees.
What about Reggie Jackson? Didn't he supposedly have a sit-down with Arod? Why are we so quick to give Kate Hudson's vagina all the credit? Maybe it was Reggie's vagina!
Suzyn Waldman, the first woman EVER to broadcast a World Series!!!
ReplyDeleteJoe Girardi, for his gutsy in-game moves.
suzyn waldman all the way!
ReplyDeleteBullpen Catcher Roman Rodriguez -he had more work behind the plate warming up all those guys in the pen then Jorge did during the games
ReplyDeleteCmon, its gotta be Kate Hudson. Or Jose Molina for only giving up one inning in which everything falls apart in 4 AJ starts.
ReplyDelete