The Yankees famously stood pat over the winter. Too bad they didn't over the trade deadline last August

In these modern Yankee dark ages, the front office loves to assure us that the key to a successful winter is saving chips for the August 1 trade deadline. Don't sweat the bullpen, they say. Ignore the hole at 3B, disregard the lack of a fifth starter. We'll save our pennies and fix everything in July! Because we're the Yankees, and we're smart!

Then, come July 31, they deal out of a hopeless desperation that J.D. Vance can appreciate.

Last summer, at the Aug. 1 deadline, they drained their farms for Jake Bird, Camilo Dotal, Jose Caballero, David Bednar and Ryan McMahon - a haul that continues to provoke depression, sleeplessness and suicidal thoughts. 

In fact, it's almost scary... how bad last year's deadline deals turned out to be.  

We went 5-for-5 in fiascos.

Caballero is hitting .178 with a HR, which came last night. He's probably the best pick-up we made last summer. Unfortunately, his botched routine grounder last night led to a four-run rally, which resurrected the Angels. Next month, Anthony Volpe will probably return and take over SS, leaving Caballero to a utility role. The idea of a starter returning should excite Yank fans. Volpe does not have that impact. I think everyone hoped Caballero would take the position, full-stop. That's not gonna happen. 

McMahon is hitting .108 with 0 HRs. He has struck out 15 times in 37 at-bats - continuing the woes that ruined his career in Colorado. The YES team has been reduced to the trope of always noticing some good sign in his latest AB; he really fouled one off! The worst thing about McMahon may be his salary. When they obtained him last August, the Yankees absorbed the last two years on a deal that pays him $16 million per season. So, when Food Stamps Hal pulls out his pockets next winter, it will be, in part, due to the trade deadline of 2025.

Dotal has a 7.36 ERA, so high that it's hard to maintain. Last season, he crashed and lost his closer role with SF, a franchise that, historically, has done well in identifying good pitchers. Dotel hasn't been much better with the Yankees. Nevertheless, they re-signed him for $6.1 million because - well - Brian Cashman hates to admit a deal went south. But this one did.

Bednar, the current closer, has a 5.36 ERA and two losses. He has five saves, including several heart-stressers, which stranded the winning runs on base. My cardiologist has already warned me about Bednar. Like Dotal, he signed a one-year deal last winter: We're paying him $9 million. 

Bird has an ERA of 7.71 and, following last night's outing - he blew two leads, including a three-run, game tying HR - he was dispatched to Scranton. Unless he figures it out, we won't see him again. (Cashman is big on second chances for his trade acquisitions, but three-time failures get Kei Igawa-ed.) 

I don't mean to beat Seabiscuit. The Yankees' haul last August has been picked over more often than Viktor Orban, and the YES barkers no longer slather lipstick on this one. In fact, last night, around the fifth inning, the ongoing Yankee gaslight seemed to switch gears. As the Yankees blew lead after lead, we were assured that hope is just around the corner. Volpe will soon be back. Gerrit Cole will soon be back. Carlos Rodon will soon be back. And rest assured... the Yankees will be busy at the trade deadline. 

God help us. And praise be to Hal-ah. 

Re: Last night

Yeah, sure, Judge and Trout.

And Grisham, incredibly.

And Cab, incredibly.

And Skenes (Rufus is right, we have to nab him).

And Jackson and Alonso (we coulda had him).

Then there's Dotal and our bullpen.

And Warren (although no earned runs).

And Boone.

And Cashman.

And Hal.

We got lucky. Saw the highlights, have to watch the replay in 45 minutes.

And fuck the Red Sox.

Game Thread – Will Warren Save Us All ?

Fun with blaspheme

 

The Yankees' current meltdown is either the 2025 team reliving itself... or relieving itself.

Today, I hereby invoke the Iron Rule of Yankee History: 

Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to bring in Scott Proctor.

Never has our crippled and crusty past shown more relevance than with the 2026 Yankees, a veritable carbon copy of last year. 

Sherman, set the Wayback for April 13, 2025 - one year ago, to the day: 

At 7-6, the Yankees sit in 2nd place in the AL East, one half-game behind the Hateful Rays. They started 2025 with a three-game sweep, then fell into a mini-funk. Soon, they'll wake up, launching a 5-game win streak that will elevate them into 1st by May 1. They'll finish April five over .500, at 18-13.

Their breakout April surprise will be Trent Grisham, a career .216 hitter and 4th OF, who - on this date last year is hitting .344 with 3 HRs, and winning Aaron Boone's favor. Grish will finish April at .292 with 8 dingers, a month nobody anticipated and that he will never repeat. (To be fair, he will hit 10 HRs in August, though hitting .243.)

Today, in 2026, Grisham is hitting .133 without a HR, with 4 measly RBIs - disturbingly closer to his career numbers. This weekend, in Tampa, he was dropped from the leadoff spot, down to the bottom of a batting order that should be nicknamed the Edmund Fitzgerald. ("Fellas, it's been good to know yaaaa!") 

As everybody knows... the Yankees' re-signing of Grisham became the fulcrum point of last winter. As soon as Grish accepted their $22.5 million, one-year qualifying offer, any plans for a 2026 rebuild flew out the window. Suddenly, Jasson Dominguez had no place on this roster. Neither did Spencer Jones. The franchise's two most interesting prospects were either stowaways or trade chum. The front office didn't have the guts to deal them - the Yankiverse was roiled enough, as it is - so they became Scranton Railriders. 

This weekend, The Martian continued to dominate Triple A: He went 2-4 yesterday and is batting .354. He seems to be wasting his time. Jones, on the other hand, has four Golden Sombreros and looks disillusioned by the swings and misses. This weekend, he went 2-8, to push his BA above .200. He has two home runs. 

It's too early to dismiss the 2026 Yankees, who, despite losing five straight, are tied for 1st with Tampa and Baltimore. Like last year's team, they have squandered a season-opening sweep, which could have provided a bit of separation from Boston and Toronto, their two main Babadooks. 

If this continues as a rerun of 2025, it means a long, hard slog, which might not offer a happy outcome. 

Soon, something will happen to this team. It sleepwalked in Tampa, and the front office will shake things up. Or an injury will create pressures - and opportunities - for players who are currently stuck in time. Whatever happens, I say, bring it on. It cannot come soon enough. 

Yankee fans do not want to relive 2025. Somewhere out there, Scott Proctor is torching his glove and jersey at home plate, and he is laughing. Fellas, it's been good to know yaaaaa.

 

Aaron Boone: Jazz Chisholm Jr. ‘not a dumb guy’ after postgame confusion in Tampa

Would you like Fries with that ? Game Thread – 04/12/26

 

The Run It Backness

 

Yep. I remember those guys. With a new standard for ugly defeats, the 2025 Yankees live again.

Before plunging into this clogged toilet nightmare - ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Ugliest Loss Thus Far in 2026! - a few words about Randal Alexander Grichuk, the RH Yankee bench wrench, 34, formerly of St. Louis, Colorado, Los Angeles, Toronto, Arizona and Kansas City, who is now 0-for-10 on the fledgling campaign. 

Last year, Grichuk appeared unto us in the ghostly form of Austin Slater, obtained in a deadline trade that the YES mouth migraines now avoid, as if it popcorned up from the Epstein files. Regarding: Grichuk in 2026... 

1. This is not his fault.

2. Last night, he happened to be a bystander, too close to the accident scene.

3. He's probably not that bad.

4. When the Yankees DFA him - they soon will, because the brain trust needs a scapegoat, and he's the lowest hanging flower on the Oleander tree - I suspect that some team will pick him up. 

5. To the Death Barge's fan base, he represents everything that's wrong with the Yankees, with America, with money ball, with capitalism, and with life in 2026. 

6. He is a Yankee because of a stat: His 2025 numbers suggested that he'd be a slight improvement over The Martian, Jasson Dominguez, from the RH side.

7. The Martian is hitting .341 in Scranton. (Last night, he went 0-2 with two walks.) He is 23 and wasting his time.

8. One of these days, the Yankees will banish Grichuk and bring up Dominguez, because their lineup desperately needs a spark. But they will still have no place to put him, because the pipes are clogged with expensive contracts.

9. Seriously, I got nothing against Grichuk. He's just the wrong guy in the wrong place on the wrong team at the wrong time, which is 2026, as opposed to 2025, and it's an honest mistake, because the two Yankee teams are nearly identical.

10. It's as if H.G. Wells spun the time machine to the wrong future date, and we have The Martian playing for the Morlochs, in the wrong book. And I am lapping myself...

This is how it goes down. The Yankees just achieved the ugliest loss of 2026. Dear God, it had everything - a come from behind, a blown lead, extra innings, blown chances and then, the finale: an inexplicable play by Jazz Chisholm, throwing to first base out of muscle memory, when the game was already lost. Bravo, everybody. 

The 2025 Yankees have arrived, and time is running out for Randal Grichuk. 

His not his fault. I hope that - in his next incarnation, with another team - he doesn't hold it against us. But of course, he will. Don't they all?  

Loser City.

 

Sorry, Doug K.  

But when it comes to sports, yes, we are.

All three hockey teams about to be eliminated.

Brooklyn Nets with another 60-loss season.

Everyone knows Knicks will not even make conference finals.

The Mets lost their fourth in a row, and now have a losing record.

The Yanks lost their fourth in a row, and are now 0-5 in one-run games. And they have a second baseman who doesn't know how force-outs work.

Nonetheless, we pay out billions of dollars in public subsidies to these bums.

Could it be the two things are connected?

RUNNING-IT-BACK out there for this game thread ººº

 TOO SOON ? 

PERHAPS A LITTLE 'BITTY' – BUT THE TRUTH MAY SET US FREE.

(HE HE HE – HAW HAW HAW)

The Yankees are floundering, but the AL is pathetic

Okay, yes, ye chickens of little, ye sayers of nay... You're right, you're brutally, horribly, disgustingly right... 

We suck.  

Nobody's hitting. The bullpen can't hold a lead. We burn through quality starts. This weekend, we're playing in a giant ping pong ball, an echo chamber of audio memes, where balls seem to splash in the fake turf, and the domed ceiling conceals pop-ups like zits on a supermodel's chin. It doesn't even matter if the crowd is on our side. We've lost three straight, squandering the Yankees' best opening weeks of this millennium.   

Yep, it royally sucks. But take a deep breath, crack your knuckles, and step away from the Abyss. Now, repeat after me:

"It's only fucking April." 

"Nothing fucking matters before Memorial Day."

"Judge will soon start fucking hitting."

"The AL East fucking sucks."

"The fucking Redsocks are in fucking last place."

Repeat, as needed. 

Yes, we will relive last year's horror. Why wouldn't we? You've heard of Trump's Project 2025? This is Cashman's. We spent $50 million just to reconstruct last year's lineup, as if it won anything. If not for the current AL Slop - only three teams sit above .500 - sirens would be blaring, and the hoary ghost of Old George, who still lives in the hearts of Yank fans - would be calling for cabbages to roll. 

And yet... here we are, best record in the AL. Soon, Judge will soon stop lunging at pitches out of his area code, and Ryan McMahon - the two-term Onondaga County Executive - will return to his Syracuse-based bureaucracy and stop playing 3B for the Yankees. 

Yeah, we suck. But cheer up. It's only April. Only April. Only April... 

Game Thread – 04/ten/2026 – Artemis II, Luis Gil and which Yankee will get a hit tonight ?

BINKY BOONE RETURNS !

 

Thank you, Mr. Cashman.

 

I'm willing to admit it.

Every now and then, my faith gets a little shaken.

Every now and then, over the course of the long season, when the Yanks go on a spree like their 7-1 start this season, a seed of doubt creeps in.

Every now and then, when they play like that, I find myself thinking things such as, Gee willikers! Could it be this team is for real? 7-1, and Judge isn't even hitting, and half the lineup's batting under .200. Look-ee that pitching, and we ain't even got Cole or Rodon or Gil back yet. Could it be...?

I'm not too proud to tell you, it unsettles a man.

Could it be that I really DON'T know more about baseball than the general manager of the greatest sports franchise in North American history? Could it be that he's been right all along...no, that can't be...all right, that he's LEARNED something in all those decades running this team? 

Could it be that it was just a matter of getting the breaks?

Then along comes a week like this one, and all is right with the world again. (At least, you know, until that world blows up.)

He is Cashman.

He restoreth my faith. He leadeth me to green pastures, where I can once again take the Yankees about as seriously as I do the New York Knickerbockers or the Rangers.  

He leaveth me to contemplate the terrifying things that the Great Humongous will do to us all.

Somehow, it's still more entertaining than watching the Yankees play the Run It Back season.

 

Ahead of schedule, anemic Yankees achieve midseason meltdown in April

Yesterday, in the 7th, against the legendary Sacramento ace, Jeffrey Springs, Yank bats suddenly awakened with a vengeance... 

Ben Rice singled to right. 

No-hitter averted. 

So ended their day. 

Also, so ended the first two weeks of 2026, with the YES channel barkers - like Fox News hosts gushing over the state of the world - declaring victory for the Yankee front office's decision to rerun the 2025 team for another season. 

Thanks to the current mediocrity of the AL East, where no other team is above water, the Yankees have maintained a priapic state of self-pleasure for 14 days and nights assuring us - and themselves - that all is fine, that the roof is not buckling, that Melania didn't know Ghislaine, and that an aging runner-up lineup, now one year older, should be celebrated, not abandoned.

What a fiasco. 

For now, here's where everything stands...

Aaron Judge comes up every three innings, briefly raising hopes, until he is walked. Increasingly frustrated, he lunges after balls and hits grounders. 

The real Final Four - yesterday it was Grichuk, Wells, Caballero and McMahon - may give the 2013 comedy troupe of Ishikawa, Cruz, Gonzalez and Romine a run for its money, as the most bottomless Yankee abyss in this millennium.   

Lately, I wonder if the Yankee Matrix glitched, switching 3B Ryan McMahon with the Ryan McMahon of Syracuse, a GOP functionary who serves as Onondaga County Executive. Can't hit. Can't field. As for McMahon, the former Colorado all-star, he's no longer working in Rocky Mountain High air, which means he might upend Zolio Almonte as the IT IS HIGH gold standard for ineptitude. Along with hitting .069, he is striking out four times in every 10 at bats. On every statistical measure, he is a candidate for Worst Hitter in Baseball. 

It's gotten so bad that we're actually marveling over Giancarlo Stanton's speed on the basepaths. (Note: He still runs like he's pulling an invisible rickshaw.)

The team finally punted on Cade Winquest, the Rule 5 pitcher who, amazingly, never got to throw a pitch. He's been designated for assignment, and we're bringing back Luis Gil. Yikes.

In every appearance, David Bednar comes closer to disaster. He's given up earned runs in three of his last four games, and left runners in nearly every outing. You can feel the confidence draining. 

Michael J. Fox is alive. ALIVE!

I won't go further. Life is too short, and Tampa beckons. But everything about this Yankee team should make us cringe. We just got beaten at home by a homeless team, which came to Gotham with a 3-6 record. The AL East is wide open for any team that gets hot. We have squandered two good weeks. Look out, below.

Who will it be???

 

Oh, the tension grows! 

Who who who who who of the Feckless Five will be the very first to homer for your New York Yankees in the 2026 Rerun Season?

Wells and Chisholm, Grisham and Caballero and McMahon/

Write it out in verse/

A terrible futility is born...

They are, together, now at 194 plate appearances without a single Ballantine Blast. Why, with any luck, they could pass the 200 PA mark in this afternoon's contest!

To be fair, the whole team isn't hitting much. Just .218 on the season. The 1968 Yankees—not only the worst-hitting Bombers team but also the worst-hitting major-league team, EVER, since 1900, batted .214. And that was when pitchers could hit. The 1968 squad's hurlers batted all of .090. The position players hit .224—or 6 whole point above Noodniks' Row this year.

To be fair, Food Stamps Hal has insisted on scheduling and playing out one night game after another, despite the Arctic weather of late. But why, again, should we be fair, toward players making millions to play a game they are no longer so good at? (Fun fact: the Yankees' position players are an average of 30.5 years of age—not only the oldest team in the AL, but also the ONLY one over 30.)

The Big Five, shown here, hit 109 home runs between them in 2025, which is no doubt why The Brain thought they would be perfect for the Season of Reruns (next on the schedule: The Bullpen That Doesn't Work!). 

That is a lot of home runs. The top five boppers on the actual Murderers' Row, the 1927 Yankees (Ruth, Gehrig, Lazzeri, Meusel, Combs) hit 139 home runs between them. 

Amongst the other great Yankees teams of yore, the Top Five of the 1961 team (Maris, Mantle, Skowron, Berra, and Howard or Blanchard) hit 186; and the 1939 squad (DiMaggio, Gordon, Dickey, Selkirk, Dahlgren) and 1977 team (Nettles, Jackson, Munson, Chambliss, White) both belted 118. Even on the 1998 Yankees, probably the greatest team of all-time, the Top Five (Martinez, Williams, O'Neill, Strawberry, Jeter or Brosius) hit "only" 121 dingers between them.

Of course, all those players did other things, such as rope doubles and triples all over the park, bat over .300, steal bases, draw walks, and play outstanding ball in the field. 

Our Fan Five is currently striking out over twice as many times as they walk (57-28), they have driven in—collectively—less than one run a game, and none of the Ferocious Five have crossed the Mendoza Line. Ryan McMahon is currently hitting all of .077, which puts him under...I dunno what line. Mason-Dixon? Maginot? 

And even their vaunted defense of late seems...more daunted than vaunted.

But I have faith. I have faith that between the five of them, they will hit a home run this year. My guess is that the first will be Austin Wells, who has proven adept at dumping what should be routine fly balls into the Yanks' Lefty Charity Porch in right field.

What are your picks? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

What's keeping the Yankees afloat? A.L. Slop

 

With due respect to Mr. Magoo and Emperor Palpatine, nothing derails a movie like a clueless, unfiltered old fogy, who is flying 30,000 feet over his head and calling the shots, and we all know who I'm talking about.

The Yankees, of course.

With their "mature" lineup - "mature" meaning "aging" - the '25-26, same-as-last-year Yankees are a boring, bumbling team that needs 10 walks per game to score runs. When they lose, as they did last night, they are particularly dreadful to watch. They are Saturday Night Live hosted by Elon Musk. Basically, you have Aaron Judge, a few anecdotes by David Cone and the NAME THAT YANKEE trivia question. After that - well - Ben Rice might turn out to be something. And Giancarlo always entertains, until he gets hurt. The bullpen cannot hold leads, and the starting rotation will only get older. 

But but BUT... we are in first.

How can sit here, farting into my back-breaker office chair, and denigrate a FIRST PLACE team? Am I that spoiled, that out of touch with the realities of baseball? If they're so old, so listless, why are the Yankees in first? 

I say, it's A.L. Slop. 

Yes, Artificial Lousiness.  

Particularly, let's celebrate the once-mighty AL East, a division that was supposed to rule baseball, which - for now, anyway - is a collection of cupcakes and canned tomatoes. 

For example, did you happen to see the throw by Boston's future superstar, Roman Anthony, the other night? He snagged a one-hop single to left field and fired a cannon shot home, with a solid chance to nab a runner. The ball bounced about 30 feet from the plate plate, halfway up the 3B line. It was beautiful. It was magic. It had the makings of a Little League HR. The Martian, lost in Scranton, would be hard-pressed to match it. 

The line on Anthony, according to my Redsock fan sources, is that he spent the winter in the weight room, bulking up so he could wow the coeds over a full MLB season. (He got hurt last year and missed the playoffs.) 

Listen, Anthony is scary. He could be great, a future Yankee killer.  But maybe, just maybe, that MVP trophy that the Gammonites bestowed upon him over the winter - could it be premature? He wouldn't be the first great prospect to weight-lift his way into mediocrity. 

So, here's my personal vendetta list of cold-ass starts. 

Of course, it's wayyyy to early to assign meaning to these numbers. (And Jose Caballero, Jazz Chisholm, Trent Grisham and Ryan McMahon  - the ballplayer, not the Onondaga County Executive - would all crack this list.) But the Yankees, for all their knock-kneed problems, have one thing going for them. 

A.L. Slop. Welcome to the new world.

Game Thread – 04/08/26 – Yanks √s A'zzzzzzz

. . . and DOOMED

Zeroes.

After all the heroics of last night's exercise in fan torture—and it should be noted that Steve Cohen bit the bullet and gave Mets fans a pair of games in the sunshine, complete with refunds (I know, I know: Uncle Stevie has more money than Hal. But then his family didn't get two subsidized stadiums from the city. And Steve Cohen earned his moolah the old-fashioned way: he stole it, fair and square.)—what remained was still a couple of chilling statistics.

After 10 games and some 184 plate appearances, over 55 percent of the Yanks' starting lineup—the Big Five, Trent Grisham, Jazz Chisholm, Austin Wells, José Caballero, and Ryan McMahon—still does not have a single home run. 

Nada. None. Zippo. Zero.

This should not be a surprise. Ryan McMahon, for instance, has played almost his entire career in Colorado, and is lifetime, .259/.810 hitter with 90 homers at home...and .215/.659 on the road. What?

Trent Grisham, before his 34 homers and less-than-HOF .235 last year, never hit more than 17 homers in a season, and batted beneath the Mendoza Line 3 times in 6 years. Jazzy is a lifetime .247 hitter who strikes out more than once a game. Who knew? 

Somehow, Brian Cashman could not anticipate any of what they are doing this season.

Meanwhile, over in Queens, the Borough of Mercy, the Metsies hung up another significant zero:  Luke Weaver and Devin Williams still have not surrendered a single run, in a combined 10 games and as many innings, while running up 2 saves, 1 hold, 1 win, and zero—that number again is, zero—losses.

Mets starter Clay Holmes, it must be said, has surrendered all of 2 earned runs this season, leaving his record at 2-0, 1.42.

Hey, I can't truly say that I miss Williams or Holmes, at least. But all three of these arms would certainly bolster our already teetering, No-Name Bullpen. 

And then there is the other big zero in the story: what the Yankees got back for them. You guessed it.

Nichts. Rien. A whole lotta nothin'. Not even a magic bean or two.

This is how Hal & Pal's Yankees operate. Acquisitions made on the basis of flawed or ignorant analyses, followed by simply letting the players in question walk off the team.

But hey, at least Volpe isn't going anywhere!

 

Amed Rosario saves the Yankees, which means that tonight, he will be Booned.

Last night, Stephen Colbert summed it up: 

“Trump has promised to deliver this civilization-ending blow tonight at 8 p.m. Eastern. So, bad news: the world might end. Good news: not until after ‘Wheel of Fortune.’” 

At times, it's hard to obsess over the Yankees - a privately-owned public entity whose owner wants to win, sorta, if the price is right - while the world turns to shit. On that note, I'm delighted to announce that neither World War III nor the first official 2026 Yankee collapse happened last night, both being postponed for two weeks, when the Yankees play Boston. We're now in a reality that turns over every two weeks, which is no way to run a baseball team, or for that matter, a planet. When world peace cannot be visualized beyond two turns of the Yankee rotation, all existential matters boil down to Wheel of Fortune, and who's on third?  

So, let's talk about 3B. Because this morning, every Yank fan in captivity knows what happened last night, and what will happen today.  

Last night, Amed Rosario hit two HRs, saving the Yankees from a soul-crushing loss to a homeless team. Thus, he will not start tonight. And probably tomorrow. He will be Booned. 

That's right. He will disappear, just like every Yankee hitter does, after a big game. It's Boone's thing. It drives us crazy, but what are the odds that we don't see Rosario, at least in a starting role, until the weekend? 

Which leaves us still wondering about 3B. The Yankees have options...

Ryan McMahon. Ever since this guy came over in a July trade, he has confused all Yankee fans from Syracuse, NY. His name is the same of the Onondaga County Executive, a perpetually grinning Republican, who sits on the giant shit pile that is the Central NY governmental bureaucracy. He fills potholes, glad-hands developers and sends workers home early during blizzards. He could probably outhit his Yankees' namesake.

Thus far, the Yankee McMahon, 31, has been awful at the bat. He's 8 for 50 with 15 strikeouts, having been among the league-leaders in Ks throughout his career. Great glove. Lousy contact. He's two years past his sell-by date, (he made the All-Star game in 2024) and, statistically, his doppelganger is Mike Pagliarulo, who should give all Yank fans cause to worry. 

McMahon will not be Booned.

He will be Trumped - that is, given two more weeks to show his stuff. 

Rosario. It's nine years since he hit the Mets as MLB's top prospect, a 21-year-old SS and future star. He was Lindor, before Lindor. In his best year, 2019, he batted .287 with 15 HRs, and led the NL in Caught Stealings, with 10. He's bounced around to seven teams, and he signed with the Yankees this winter, knowing he'd warm the bench.  

That said, in the bountiful begorra of Bill Robinson, baseball history is filled with former great prospects who figured out the secret of hitting sometime around their 30th birthday. Why not Rosario?  

Obviously, after last night, he needs a full week at 3B. That won't happen.

Booned.

Oswaldo Cabrera. There is only one Oswaldo. The smiling warrior still holds 3B in our hearts. But he's been icy cold in Scranton, rehabbing his broken foot. (Like endless wars, the Yankees have endless rehabs.) Cabrera is currently hitting .188 - 6 for 32 with a homer and a SB. My guess is that, unless someone gets hurt, he must hit his way back to the majors, and as a utility player, not a starting 3B. 

Paul DeLong (32) and Max Schuemann (28), both currently of Scranton, two serviceable infielders, who probably have OUT clauses in their contracts. Neither is hitting. But both can probably field 3B on a notch just below McMahon. 

DeLong - a member of the All-Rookie team in 2017 for the Cardinals - is 4 for 23. Schuemann - two years with the A's, with 9 career HRs - is 4 for 26. 

Then there is the domino effect of Anthony Volpe, who should return in mid-May. He'll probably take over at SS, moving Caballero to 3B? And there is the outside, far-flung, not worth mentioning chance that George Lombard Jr.- now of Double A Somerset - could bypass everyone. Right now, he's 6 for 9 with a HR. Close your eyes and dream: Volpe at 3B, Lombard at SS, and we stop hearing all that mush about Boston's youth movement.

In the meantime, we'll be Booned and Trumped. Yikes. What a twosome.  

Game Thread – April 07, 2026 – Yankees √s NorCal A'zzzzzz – Now in Twist off Bottles !

 

Wrathful Yank fans make vendetta history with Juan Soto chant

My all-time, greatest anonymous Yank fans, ranked: 

6. In 1978, Yankee Stadium crowd showers giveaway Reggie bars at Reggie Jackson, causing game to be halted. 

5. In mid-1970s, in Syracuse, NY on a Saturday afternoon, a handful of drunken fans converge on local NBC affiliate to complain that Yank game has pre-empted for golf. Police called.

4. Car filled with drunken louts chases embattled pitcher Eddie Lee Whitson home, honking horn and yelling obscenities. 

3. Mob rushes field, slamming into Chris Chambliss, after his walk-off HR wins 1976 pennant. 

2. Crowd chants "Fuck Steinbrenner" after Reggie returns in an Angels uniform, belts homer.

1. Mystery group, circa 1985, put tacks on Whitson's driveway. 

Today, I proudly add Sunday night's stadium crowd, which spontaneously chanted "FUCK JUAN SOTO," after the heartbreaking news broke that the traitor will be sidelined with a minor calf strain.

Sadly, neither Michael Kay nor the YES team acknowledged the cheers, which once again proves that Yank fans are on a par with Trump, himself, when it comes to nursing grudges.  

Soto will always occupy a cold, dark basement in our hearts. He signed with the Mets, squeezing a few extra thin dimes on a $765 million contract, because he was too cheap to buy luxury box and too petty to forgive a low-level security guard for not immediately recognizing his relatives. 

Honestly, I can't think of a nicer addenda to Sunday's rancid loss than to imagine Soto having to sit out a week or two, watching daytime TV. I don't ask the juju gods for broken bones, ligament tears or concussions. But minor calf strains? Thank you, kind sirs.

Icing on the cake: Soto was off to a hot start, hitting .355. 

Let's hope he returns in two weeks, just in time for a sweet 0-for-20.  

If you're expecting forgiveness, or grace, why are you here? Two years ago, for an entire season, Yank fans showered Soto with unrelenting love. We overlooked his paltry fielding. We cheered him through ups and downs. And he pissed on us, signing with the Mets, for a few extra pennies on a stack of money taller than he will spend in 10 lifetimes. Fuck him. If I had some extra tacks...