Winter's here, and it's time for the 10 Yankee Questions of the Apocalypse

For 16 years now, the great and glorious New York Yankees - in the words of Kurt Vonnegut - have not won doodley squat. 

Sixteen years... 

Epstein's favorite number. 

Longest drought in Yankee history.  

All the way back to 2009, when Trump's Celebrity Apprentice competition was won by Joan Rivers.

Sixteen years. Yet the owner seems more concerned about the rent he pays on Yankee Stadium. 

Maybe the Mets should outbid him and move to the Bronx? The Yankees could move to Tampa and play at Steinbrenner Field. Big savings. 

Time is ticking on the careers of Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton and Gerrit Cole.  This upcoming season may be their last, best chance at a trip down the Canyon of Heroes. Yet the owner was lamenting the high payroll. 

I wish IT IS HIGH commenters had been allowed in last week's media Zoom call with Hal Steinbrenner. Here are 10 questions I'd love to hear.

1. Will you ever top the Mets in a toe-to-toe bidding war?

2. Will the Yankees really trade Jasson Dominguez, at age 22?

3. How deeply do you plan to raid your farm system, the team's future, in trades?

4. Are you ready for the Mets, Dodgers, Blue Jays or Redsocks to sign Kyle Tucker?

5. Do the Yankees have a Plan B, in case Anthony Volpe simply fails?

6. Short of him dropping his pants in public, is there anything that would cause the Yankees to fire Aaron Boone?

7.  Is Ben Rice the future catcher or first baseman? Do you plan to decide in 2026?

8. Last year, did we see the best seasons we will ever get from Max Fried and Carlos Rodon?

9. With Trent Grisham and Jazz Chisholm, can the Yankees ever be a team that manufactures runs, rather than relying on homers?

10. Are you prepared for the Mets to become NYC's premier team?

10 Terrifying Reasons to Dread What's Coming (for the Yankees, anyway)

Damn... 

Today, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed - the glass half-empty, the world off-kilter, the Matrix glitched, the ghosty world around me whispering, "Quiet, quiet, Piggy." 

I look at the Yankees and see the apocalypse.

Armageddon outahere. 

Ten reasons to fear what's coming. in 2025.

1. Owner Hal is already poormouthing about the 2026 Yankee payroll, which will fall well below those of the Dodgers and Mets.

2. That means Cooperstown Cashman must improve the Yankee roster through trades.

3. To do so, Cashman will have to give up the only things other teams covet - the Yankees' best youngish prospects.

4. The Yankees blew up their farm system last August at the trade deadline. They will have a hard time matching other teams' prospect packages.

5. To get anybody of quality, they will have to deal Anthony Volpe, Jasson Dominguez, Spencer Jones - maybe even Ben Rice and/or Cam Schlittler. 

6. Of these players, only Jones and Schlittler might be at their peaks as trade chips. Volpe and Dominguez had disappointing seasons in 2025. 

7. For the last three years, Aaron Judge has played relatively full seasons without injuries. Eventually, that luck will run out.

8. Giancarlo Stanton will be 36. He hasn't hit 30 HRs in a season since 2022. He is not getting younger. 

9. There is no guarantee that Gerrit Cole, at 35, will be the same pitcher he was before surgery.

10. The AL East will be baseball's toughest division in 2025. The Redsocks wave of prospects will be peaking, Toronto is here to stay, and one of these years, all that talent in Baltimore will coalesce. 

Mamdani is said to hate the Yankees. NYC is ready to become a Met town. 

The days are still getting shorter. 

THIRD IN A NEW SERIES CALLED: WHEN REAL MEN RAN THE YANKEES – PART 2 – "DA'BOSS"

Always the beloved prankster, here's Hal's Daddy daring Yankees beat reporters to pull his finger 

Mike Tyson says that everybody has a plan until they get socked in the mouth. Brian Cashman has a plan. He should brace for impact.

Last week, while Hal Steinbrenner was publicly poormouthing over the Yankees' 2026 payroll, Boston traded for Sonny Gray, and Toronto signed free agent Dylan Cease. 

It left me recalling a song by John Mellencamp that goes, "It aint the end of the world, but you can see it from here."

Listen: Neither Gray nor Cease is the nuclear bomb that imperils the '26 Yankees. But you can see it from here.

The big punch is coming, and if there's anything to be gleaned from Hal's sad moment with the media this week, it's that the Yankees' plan is to clutch their wallet and wait for the bargains to emerge. 

They are no longer MLB's premier franchise - haven't been for years, and they soon might not even be NYC's - whose bold moves set the winter agenda. Though they still possess perhaps the most lucrative fan base in American sports, they act like your Aunt Prudence, clipping coupons and combing the bargain bins for old 8-tracks of the Guess Who.     

The big fish are the Dodgers and Mets, who will spend whatever it takes to dominate the upcoming free agent winter. Once they are sated, the Yankees will bid with the Phillies, Cubs, Boston, Toronto (and probably still the hungry Mets) - for the leftovers. 

Make no mistake: There are gems to be had. Jiggering the scrap yards has been Brian Cashman's greatest skill as a GM. But his downfall has been in finding that ace pitcher who would lead the Yankees to a world series. 

Don't worry: That pitcher is not Sonny Gray, and it's probably not Dylan Cease. But soon, the Dodgers and Mets will make their moves. The Yankees will bid just enough to come in second. The plan is simple: See what happens.  

Black Friday Special

Thanksgiving is over and it's time to Deck Mel Hall with boughs of holly because it's Hal Steinbrenner's favorite season. No, not the off-season and certainly not the baseball season. Those two cost too much money...  

It's shopping season, and AA and I are kicking it off with a Black Friday Special... 

The CASHmere Sweater

 

Keeping warm during the off-season requires more than a hot stove.

 

Show your fealty to the New York Yankees with this this unisex turtleneck CASHmere sweater, named for 2025 General Manager of the Year Candidate Brian Cashman. 

 

While the playoffs may be a crapshoot there is nothing crappy about this GOAT soft yarn sweater complete with a felt New York Yankees logo patch.

 

Expertly assembled, the CASHmere sweater provides a luxury experience mirroring the team and the man it honors.  

 

·         The Elite Large Pal-Hole™ with ribbed stitching, located at the top of the sweater, is both a tribute to the Yankee infield and offers a perfect way to pull the sweater over your head.

 

·         The Ralph Lauren inspired rib design at the sleeves and neck is an homage to past championships and is stitched together using remnants of older “classic” fabrics hand selected by Mr. Cashman himself.  

 

·         Your purchase Includes a state-of-the-art analytics “How To” guide telling you what days to wear the sweater regardless of the actual temperature.

 

$495 (Pinstriped pants not included.)

Disclosure:

 

Sweater may unravel at inopportune times. Avoid wearing in the month of October. Money from the purchase of the CASHmere sweater will not be used toward operating expenses or appear in any way on the New York Yankees profit/loss statement.

 

Dear Mr. Steinbrenner: At some point, you must stand up to the bully

Dear Madam or Sir,

Didja see what those dirty rotten Mets just went and did? Unbelebable! They traded Brandon Nimmo, a lifetime Met, leaving a big-ass hole in their outfield. Hah. We should start drinking, right?  

Uh, well, why isn't anybody hoisting a grog? Everybody looks a bit stressy, woeful, downcast. It always gets this way when Daddy poormouths - as you did last week - about paying the rent. 

It's the way you've been grumbling lately, while the Mets just grin.   

That hole in their outfield? It won't last long. They might decide to sign Kyle Tucker or Cody Bellinger, or both. They might just headfirst into bidding wars, and if so, Yank fans have dark fears over how they will end.  

Sir, at some point, you must face off against the schoolyard bully - super-billionaire Stevie Cohen - yep, the guy who kicked your ass last year in the chase for Juan Soto. 

Once again, the Mets may seek to sign one of your main free agent targets. 

It won't do any good to call Cohen and plead prudence, as you've done in the past. He is the pimply eighth-grader who decided your bike belongs in his garage.  Meanwhile, you're the pipsqueak who thinks everybody can get along, if they simply go behind closed doors and divvy up the work force. Nobody needs bidding wars. They should just do what owners always do... collude.

Soon, maybe this week, Cohen is going to declare interest in Tucker and/or Bellinger, and back it up with more money than the Tampa Rays pay in a year. He won't be alone. The Dodgers, Cubs, Phillies and maybe even Boston will join the bidding. 

I can't tell you who to sign. But this business of finishing second in free agent bidding wars needs to end.

Yes, those awful, mean-old, hedge fund billionaires have more money than you. And yes, it's terrible - just terrible! - that the taxpayers of NYC expect you to pay rent on Yankee Stadium. How dare they! Commies! 

Sir, at some point, you must stave off the bully - beat the Mets in a contract war. You must show- (even if it's not true) - that the Yankees are still New York's top team. Right now, that perch is perilous. 

I know you don't want to hear this, but this winter, it's time for you to dig deep... and spend. 

WISHING EVERYONE OF YOU A THANKSGIVING THAT'S WAY ABOVE AVERAGE . . .

 

AFTER A BIG THANKSGIVING MEAL THERE'S

NOTHING QUITE LIKE A LONG AND RELAXING BATH. 

THIS HOLIDAY, ENJOY A WARM, BUBBLY SOAK

WITH NEW YORK YANKEES MANAGER AARON BOONE.

  

Ø HA HA HA HA HA Ø

OR MAYBE, JUST ENJOY THAT BATH ALONE WITH

THE IDIOT'S FAVORITE BRAND OF BUBBLY,

MR BUBBLE !

Seven Things I’m Actually Thankful For

Yeah, yeah, family, friends, sun in the morning and the moon at night. I’ll save that for the dinner table surrounded by people who, aside from my immediate family, I could walk away from in a NY minute.  

Instead, I’m going to reveal what I’m truly grateful for about being a Yankee fan. 

Number Four will shock you! Number Five will be a letdown. But Six and Seven show promise.

One: They Win More Often Than Not (Notice the non-use of numerals to give this piece more heft.)

With the exception of the playoffs, and I’ve heard that’s a crapshoot, the Yankees always give me a reasonable expectation of winning. As my fellow (and gal-low?) Giant fans (and Jet fans) know, winning is not to be taken for granted.

Two:  We Live In The Future

When I first moved to Los Angeles in 1981 my ability to follow the team was limited.  Basically, box scores in the LA Times with short summary like, “ Jerry Mumphrey went 2 for 3 with a double and Doug Bird picked up the win in relief as the Yankees defeated the Orioles 5-3.” 

That was it.

I would suffer through February waiting for the Street and Smith to show up at the Thrifty. Or, if I just couldn’t take it anymore, the Atherton one that always sucked.

Today I watch pretty much every game and watch it when I want. Fast forward certain players at bats. (Cough. Volpe.) Blast through the commercials. Read blogs. Write blogs. Read the NY Post Sports section, the NY Daily News Sports section, The Athletic...

I really need to get more of a life.

Which takes me to…

Three – Most Yankee Games Begin at Four O’Clock PST

I’m old. Yankee games at four are like the Early Bird Special. I’ve already run my errands. If I can just make it to four my day is effectively and mercifully over.  Three-hour ballgame. Eat dinner. Read a book. Meditate. Rinse. Repeat.

This doesn’t work with the Knicks. Even though it times out the same, basketball requires an attention span that I don’t have. Plus there are always interruptions… My family comes home. I’m getting phone calls from friends . Suddenly it’s the third quarter and Karl Anthony Towns has four fouls and I don’t know how.    

Number Four -  Throwing A Plugged In Toaster Into A Bathtub

I don’t know if this actually is able to kill someone. I saw it in a James Bond movie when I was a kid. Then again I once saw a movie starring Dick Van Dyke that had a car that could fly and go underwater.  The closest I ever got my car to flying was doing the Rene Julian thing with my family’s FIAT 124 by setting up a ramp behind the PathMark.  

Number Five - The Hot Stove

The Yankees are a giant puzzle that was purchased for a dollar at the Goodwill. There are always pieces missing.  Even though virtually nothing I think they should do actually gets done it's fun to try to solve it anyway. 

Number Six  -  Aaron Judge

I’ve been a Yankee fan since the early 1960’s.  I had the Roger Maris Home Run Trainer and my first glove was a Mickey Mantle Tripe Crown but I was too young to really appreciate who these guys were. By the time I was old enough Mantle was in steep decline and it wasn’t until my college years that there were players worth following.

Aaron Judge is THE best ballplayer on a team that I have rooted for that I have ever seen. It’s not even close.  

He isn’t my favorite Yankee BTW. I don’t currently have one. Munson, Mattingly, Matsui were special to me but Aaron Judge is an absolute pleasure to watch.

 

Number Seven – It is High It Is Far It Is Caught

Having the opportunity to be a part of this group of writers and readers is one of the great joys in my life.  To have a place to put down my thoughts about the Yankees and about life…

To read everyone else thoughts and marvel in the infinite creativity that we collectively have to basically say that Hal is a bad owner, Brian is a horrible GM and Aaron Boone is, and I mean this with no disrespect, a moron. Over and over again, and manage to keep it fresh and relevant, helped only by the fact that Hal really  is a bad owner, Brian really is a horrible GM and Aaron Boone is, and I mean this with no disrespect, really is a moron.

I’m particularly in awe of, and thankful for El Duque, who, rain or shine, delivers humor and wisdom about this team… Every. Single. Day.  For years!

I do not know how he does it but I’m truly thankful that he does.

So to all of you, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, which puts it somewhere near my Solar Plexus, (I don’t really know. I went F, F, D, F in 10^th Grade Biology.  I was better at Social Studies and English – except for punctuation. I’m still working on that.)

Happy Thanksgiving To All of You. We have a lot to be thankful for.  

Suzyn, I thank you, and thank you all...

Today, I wanna thank everyone on this blog who reads, rants, roils, regales and retches over the sad state of humanity and - of course - the New York effin' Yankees. You know who you are. 

Listen: Hal will never spend the money. Cashman will never leave. Roger will never make the Hall. Donnie will never get a ring. Volpe will never hit, and Jeet will never be replaced. But every day, somebody here will give me cause to laugh - or grimace - and a reason to carry on.

I consider myself the luckiest fan on the face of the earth.

So I thank you, Suzyn, and one and all. 

Look! What's that? The Abyss! Let's go! Last one in is a rotten egg! 

Time to Start Practicing Our Vociferous Booing

 

The good kind of booing.  Where you're booing as loud as you can and half laughing at the same time.

When his name is announced, we'll let loose a boisterous, clamorous, noisy, strident, uninterrupted BOOOOO, with our boo/laugh fueled by the sheer pleasure of it.

Yes, boys and girls, Sonny Gray has been traded to the Red Sox which means we'll likely see him in the Bronx a few times next summer.

If the son-of-a-bitch shuts us down, it'll be ok to for our booing to take on a concerned tone.  A booing sound made by fans who are thinking "Please tell me he's not going to be another Yankee killer."

But then Judge will step in and take Gray deep and we we'll all laugh again.

Here's hoping he sucks for the Socks as much as he did for us.

The Bellinger Conundrum

In a subliminal rallying cry to you, Mr. and Mrs. Retail Shopper, today's ATHLETIC proposes the one free agent Black Friday purchase that every MLB team should make. (Remember: If we each do our part - spend, spend, spend - the economy will bloom, and everybody will win the Super Bowl, metaphorically.)

In this reverse-Hunger Games analysis, the Mets would sign starter Tatsuia Imai, and the Redsocks would grab 3B Munetaka Murakami - two Japanese stars, the human equivalents of those $30 Amazon mystery pallets, which might contain iPads, but probably have electronic doo-hickeys that analyze your dog's stool. As for the Yankees? They would grab Alex Bregman Kyle Tucker Bo Bichette - um - Cody Bellinger.

Yep. The Belli of the Beast. Last year's lineup, but with another season of well-ground grist. 

Yank fans adore Bellinger. Last year, with two strikes, he choked up and situationally hit his way into our hearts. He patrolled LF with aplomb. He hit 29 HRs, 98 HRs, a .272 BA - a poor man's Triple Crown. He's only 30. He's seen it all - from MVP to DFA. He's worth a three-year-deal, maybe five. He won't embarrass us. We could do worse. 

But but BUT... Every Yank fan knows the underside. He's a fundamentalist, with a disturbing likeliness to DJ LeMahieu. Moreover, Bellinger's return would leave no air in the room for the most hyped Yankee prospects of the 2020s: Jasson Dominguez, 22, and Spencer Jones, 24. If Belli stays, there is nothing for The Martian or The Judge Clone - aside from what Cooperstown Cashman gets in some massive trade - the most defining deal since Jesus Montero left for Michael Pineda.  

At the mere thought of Cashman orchestrating a huge deal, I believe I speak for the Yankiverse in saying: GAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

Okay, I know what you're thinking: Jeez, man, at least let's see what Cashman gets in a trade. You can't condemn something without seeing it. 

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Listen: Everybody likes Belli. But wouldn't it be nice if something in 2026 actually changes? Last year's lineup, one year older? I say, Quiet, Piggy! The Yankees need to, a) Spend a jazillion dollars, b) Beat Stevie Cohen in a bidding war, and c) give a chance to their big-ass prospects. For 16 years now, they've tried to trade their way to a championship. It's time for Hal to go out on a massive, dangerous limb. Cody Bellinger is just too safe. 

$$$

Failson Billionaire: You think I make a lot of money? Well have you considered I also have to spend some of it

[image or embed]

— Tim Price (@timprice.bsky.social) November 24, 2025 at 1:07 PM

Dear Mr. Hal: We've heard enough from Tatusya Imai. Sign him.

Dear Madam or Sir,

Over the weekend, when asked about potentially playing for the Dodgers, free agent Japanese pitcher Tatusya Imai said: 

“I want to take them down...I think beating a team like that and becoming World Champions would be the most valuable thing in my life.”

Sign him. 

Sign him now. 

Ten years? Fifteen? Don't care. Take a redeye flight to Japan. Bring two large NY pizzas, a bouquet of roses, and a duffle of Yankee swag. Find his house. Have Cashman pull you in a rickshaw. Knock on the door. Hand him a slice. Give his wife the flowers. Put ball caps on his children. Unfurl a contract with a lotta zeros. Sign him. 

Don't put it off. Don't wear your kinky boots. (Above right.) Don't wait until the Winter Meetings. Be there tonight. And if the man wants a fucking luxury box, give the man a fucking luxury box. 

For the last three years, the best Asian free agent on the market has run to the Dodgers. It's a talent pipeline that threatens the game. This could be the guy to halt it. This could be the guy who wins Game Two. But if he signs with Boston, if he signs with the Mets, if he signs with Toronto, the Yankees could fall into a dark pit of despair, from which we might not emerge in our lifetimes.  

Yesterday, in a Zoom call with selected Gammonites, you were asked how much money the Yankees make. You wouldn't say. You get to decline such questions, because you're a privileged owner. You never have to read your salary in the newspaper, as every MLB player does. You never get booed after hitting a pop-up. You never have to see your paltry batting average on the Jumbotron. And the system is rigged so you never will. 

Well, here's something to do with all that money you claim the Yankees do not make. 

Sign. This. Guy. 

While the Yankees prepare their turkeys, let us praise the greatest losers of all - the Jersey Giants

Yesterday, for the fifth time this year, the NY Footfall Giants took a solid lead into a game's fourth quarter - and somehow managed to lose. 

It was magical, Shakespearian, a masterpiece performance in the art of chokery. Few teams in any sport can match such ignominy. With a 2-10 record, and six straight losses, they have kept pace with the 1-10 Tennessee Titans in the race for the NFL's top draft pick - a chase that Giant fans know won't matter, anyway: They will just draft a bum.

For one queasy moment, I'd like to digress from this blog's central mission: Condemning the Yankees for the betrayal of their legacy. The Giants must be appreciated. For three years now, they've been effectively eliminated by mid-October - even before the Yankees could clock out in the playoffs. That's quality tanking!

Long ago, when I was an impressionable sprout - rooting for Mickey, Whitey and Yogi - I assumed that the Giants - with Andy Robustelli, Sam Huff and Y.A. Tittle - were the Yankees of the NFL. They would always win. When head coach Jim Lee Howell retired, the Giants had a chance to replace him with Tom Landry, the defensive coordinator, or Vince Lombardi, the offensive line coach. Instead, they chose the team clipboard, Allie Sherman. The rest is history, or maybe Drunk History. 

Nearly 70 years later, I believe all NY sports teams are jinxed, due to the massive sociological, financial and sexual distractions posed by Gotham - and the old-money, white-bread, nepo-baby owners, who care more about horses, Gatsby parties and the Westminster Kennel Club. In the Big Apple, sport teams are doomed. 

And yesterday... what a loss! With seconds on the clock and a three-point lead, and a chance to kick an easy field goal, the Giants opted to go for it on 4th down. They failed, of course. The Lions ran down the field and kicked a 59-yard field goal, sending the game into overtime, where they quickly won. Damn. It was magnificent. 

Today, some fans are second-guessing the Giants' decision to forego the field goal. Not me. If the Giants had a six-point lead, Detroit would have simply scored a TD and won anyway. The Giants were going to lose. Everybody knew it. They are football's version of the Yankees - or maybe the Washington Generals. 

Over Thanksgiving, the Giants will prepare for next week's loss. Unfortunately, their last four games include tomato cans: Washington, Minnesota, Vegas and the Cowboys - who will certainly lay down. The Giants likely will end up choosing fifth in a class of four consensus picks.

Damn, though, they are the true worst. They are incredible!