It is high, it is far, it is... caught!: Game Thread - August 3rd - "When your team is underwater - give the ball to the Gil Man"

2020 Tabloids Back Page & Covers Results

Yankees 152
Mets 132
Giants 123.5
Jets 55
NFL w (Super Bowl) 52
Knicks 51

MLB (w/World Series) 46

Covid 37

Nets 20

Astros cheating scandal 16.5
RIP: Kobe Bryant 13.5

NBA 11

Rangers 8.5

Golf 8
Horse racing 5
NCAA football 4
Olympics 2.5

Patrick Ewing w Covid 2

RIP: Hank Steinbrenner 2

RIP: Anthony Causi 2

RIP: George Floyd 2
Tennis 2
NCAA basketball 2
NASCAR racism 2

RIP: David Stern 1

RIP: Don Shula 1

RIP: Tom Dempsey 1

RIP: Joe Morgan 1

Colin Kaepernick 1

Chinese Baseball 1

Little League baseball 1

Lady Liberty 1

MMA 1

Michael Jordan 1

Len Dykstra disgrace 1

Sunday, August 3, 2025

Game Thread - August 3rd - "When your team is underwater - give the ball to the Gil Man"

Posted by AboveAverage at 12:30 PM

AN UMPIRE ?

63 comments:

JM said...: Down in the meadow where there lived a bitty poo
Swam three little fishes and a mama fishie, too
"Swim!" said the mama fishie, "Swim if you can!"
And they swam, and they swam all over the dam...

"Stop!" said the mama fishie or you will be lost
But the three little fishes didn't wanna be bossed
The three little fishes went off on a spree
And they swam, and they swam right out to sea...

"Whee!", yelled the little fishes, "Here's a lot of fun
We'll swim in the sea till the day is done!"
They swam and they swam and it was a lark
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark...

"Help!" cried the little fishes, "Gee, look at the whales!"
Quick as they could they turned on their tails
Back to the pool in the meadow they swam
And they swam and they swam back over the dam!; August 3, 2025 at 12:37 PM
AboveAverage said...: That left me all teary…; August 3, 2025 at 12:46 PM
JM said...: You're a sensitive soul, AA.; August 3, 2025 at 12:55 PM
AboveAverage said...: Filet of Sole . . .; August 3, 2025 at 1:07 PM
JM said...: Grisham!; August 3, 2025 at 1:48 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: And just in case Hammer didn't see this after his brilliant screed earlier:

Hammer! Please don't go away! We need brilliant diatribes like this to sustain us in the End of Days. "Rage, rage against the fading of the light."—That's us, baby!; August 3, 2025 at 1:56 PM
AboveAverage said...: I almost went all Dylan Thomas yesterday.

My gut says HoG isn't gunna leave . . .; August 3, 2025 at 1:59 PM
13bit said...: Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.; August 3, 2025 at 2:00 PM
JM said...: Beware the Jabberwocky, my son
The jaws that bite, the claws that snatch
Beware the Jubjub bird and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch; August 3, 2025 at 2:03 PM
JM said...: Jabberwock, not Jabberwocky, you stupid phone; August 3, 2025 at 2:04 PM
JM said...: Well, that didn't take long.; August 3, 2025 at 2:21 PM
ranger_lp said...: There is an IIHIIFIIC Broom Watch for this board…; August 3, 2025 at 2:22 PM
JM said...: With this team, we should call it a mop.; August 3, 2025 at 2:25 PM
AboveAverage said...: I'm wondering which inning Boone will get thrown out in today?

He is due

He is on edge

His an, uh

Uhm,

You know . . . .

(can I get some help here); August 3, 2025 at 2:32 PM
AboveAverage said...: (He's not His an, you stupid phone); August 3, 2025 at 2:33 PM
AboveAverage said...: {Wait, I'm typing on my computer.....nevermind}; August 3, 2025 at 2:34 PM
BernBabyBern said...: Johnny Lasagna placed on the IL with “Jacoby Ellsbury disease” — we needed a roster spot, he sucks, so we’ll make up an injury to get him out of here.; August 3, 2025 at 2:36 PM
JM said...: It's okay, you were trying to make a play.; August 3, 2025 at 2:36 PM
AboveAverage said...: yeah - letters appeared on his chest that spelled, "release me"; August 3, 2025 at 2:37 PM
JM said...: Englebert Humperdinck?; August 3, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Doctor T said...: I think it's time to start posting a Boone deathwatch. As the vultures circle around Cashman's office, he'll need someone to blame for this shit-mess. But firing Boone won't fix the Yankees.

Cashman needs to go and we need to divert the Alpheus and Peneius rivers to clean out the Yankee barn of everyone he hired.; August 3, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Pocono Steve said...: Everybody's an asshole on this team.; August 3, 2025 at 2:56 PM
ranger_lp said...: The IIHIIFIIC Broom Watch has been upgraded to a Warning…; August 3, 2025 at 2:57 PM
JM said...: Time to watch the Mets, but they're down 7-1.

Anything on TCM?; August 3, 2025 at 2:57 PM
AboveAverage said...: The Aaron Boone Story; August 3, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Publius said...: Unfortunately, I don't think anyone in management gets canned after a season that began with Gerritt Cole needing inning ending surgery. Yes, the baseball has been terrible. But Big Yankee write this season off five minutes after Cole's surgery was confirmed. Even the deadline trades show that they're playing for next year, at the earliest, when the ace is back. If the acquisitions help this year, fine. If they make the playoffs, fine. But without Cole they weren't making any real moves thus year because they had reasoned it would be futile. The long slog of the season has been unpleasant,but nothing has happened that tly troubles the organization's leadership. Without Cole, 2025cwas a write off. Everything since has been trivia.; August 3, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Hinkey Haines said...: A MEETING WITH DESPAIR
As evening shaped I found me on a moor
Which sight could scarce sustain:
The black lean land, of featureless contour,
Was like a tract in pain.
“This scene, like my own life,” I said, “is one
Where many glooms abide;
Toned by its fortune to a deadly dun—
Lightless on every side.
I glanced aloft and halted, pleasure-caught
To see the contrast there:
The ray-lit clouds gleamed glory; and I thought,
“There’s solace everywhere!”
Then bitter self-reproaches as I stood
I dealt me silently
As one perverse—misrepresenting Good
In graceless mutiny.
Against the horizon’s dim-descernèd wheel
A form rose, strange of mould:
That he was hideous, hopeless, I could feel
Rather than could behold.
“’Tis a dead spot, where even the light lies spent
To darkness!” croaked the Thing.
“Not if you look aloft!” said I, intent
On my new reasoning.
“Yea—but await awhile!” he cried. “Ho-ho!—
Look now aloft and see!”
I looked. There, too, sat night: Heaven’s radiant show
Had gone. Then chuckled he.; August 3, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...: So there is No Parole from this nightmare? I keep rolling over to go back to sleep, but . . . crap, I'm awake.; August 3, 2025 at 3:12 PM
JM said...: Exactly.; August 3, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Hinkey Haines said...: Aaron Boone is a
Professional idiot.
And the Yankees suck.; August 3, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Rufus T. Firefly said...: Just checked the score in the middle of yard work. Attrocious.

Would it help any if the fans started throwing green dildos at Bonehead in the dugout?; August 3, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Hinkey Haines said...: They’re in Miami, so they’re probably cheering his e dry move.; August 3, 2025 at 3:24 PM
BTR999 said...: From YGY:

“… Jonathan Loaisiga — the literal worst pitcher on the roster right now — on the IL with "right mid back tightness." Yeah ... sure. Interesting timing!”

Just a coinkydink I’m sure. I wish this was all they were guilty of.; August 3, 2025 at 3:25 PM
BTR999 said...: I just got in, no reason to watch this slop is there? Did Gil hurt his arm again or did he just suck?; August 3, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Doug K. said...: Rust.; August 3, 2025 at 3:34 PM
AboveAverage said...: Kay the Cranium is now second guessing Boone's choices real time during the broadcast.

They may cut his Ice Cream per diem; August 3, 2025 at 3:44 PM
AboveAverage said...: With all due respect, if they do, I'd prefer them to be bubble gum colored.

'Because, you never know.; August 3, 2025 at 3:56 PM
ranger_lp said...: Goldie looks lost…; August 3, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Rufus T. Firefly said...: The the official pantone color is "money grubbing green". I'm sure they could be personalized for every occasion, as long as they're all labeled forward to "HAL and Pal".; August 3, 2025 at 4:13 PM
AboveAverage said...: The Yankees Lose - 14 Strikeouts - SWEPT; August 3, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Hinkey Haines said...: I’m sure Boone will plain that the boys are talented & trying their best so good things are ahead.; August 3, 2025 at 4:35 PM
JM said...: Best in the AL, Hinkey. Elite.; August 3, 2025 at 4:37 PM
BTR999 said...: Not even worth a comment; August 3, 2025 at 4:44 PM
AboveAverage said...: Wasn’t that a comment?; August 3, 2025 at 5:16 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Without Judge, there is just nothing I want to watch on this team. Nada. But...it is bringing us to new literary heights!; August 3, 2025 at 6:06 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Publius, I fear you are right. Not about killing Caesar, mind, but about the Yankees. They have been planning to use the latest injuries as excuses all along, and neither Boone's nor Cashman's head will roll.

If they still look terrible next year—which they will—and the team is still this much out of control, Boone will become the sacrifice that buys Cashman a couple more years. But I dunno...; August 3, 2025 at 6:10 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: ...Nothing short of Hal selling the team will help the Yankees. And the last Steinbrenner who wanted to sell was going to hand them over to the Dolans. Remember: it can always get worse.; August 3, 2025 at 6:11 PM
TheWinWarblist said...: All is right with the world. Root for the Marlins! Swim fishey, swim!; August 3, 2025 at 6:11 PM
AboveAverage said...: “We, uh, gotta all, you know…pull it out….pull it out….together’’; August 3, 2025 at 6:24 PM
AboveAverage said...: After watching Boone’s post-game Seppuku today I actually started to feel a bit sorry for him.; August 3, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Rufus T. Firefly said...: AA, I'd recommend laying off the hard stuff until you sober up. 🍸😶‍🌫️; August 3, 2025 at 8:01 PM
AboveAverage said...: Thanks Rufus.

It’s just when he started to sob and accidentally swallowed his double bubble making it necessary for Meredith Marakovits to rush over a perform the Heimlich maneuver I started to worry about his mental health.; August 3, 2025 at 8:25 PM
13bit said...: Pull it together, lads. ARE WE NOT MEN); August 3, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Rufus T. Firefly said...: "Now whip it into shape
Shape it up, get straight
Go forward, move ahead
Try to detect it, it's not too late
To whip it, into shape
Shape it up, get straight
Go forward, move ahead
Try to detect it, it's not too late
To whip it, well, whip it good"

Seems like good advice to the coaching staff.

Instead, they act like they're doing whippets.; August 3, 2025 at 8:59 PM
AboveAverage said...: Allow me to say that Meredith could crush the very life outta Boone's body
if the urge to do so ever overwhelmed her . . .; August 3, 2025 at 9:03 PM
AboveAverage said...: Sad eyes, turn the other way (turn the other way)
I don't wanna see you cry (cry, cry, cry)
Sad eyes, you knew there'd come a day
When we would have to say goodbye; August 3, 2025 at 9:17 PM
AboveAverage said...: Hanging from the beam,

Slowly swaying (such the law),

 Gaunt the shadow on your green,

Shenandoah!

 The cut is on the crown

 (Lo, John Brown),

 And the stabs shall heal no more.

 Hidden in the cap

Is the anguish none can draw;

 So your future veils its face,

Shenandoah!

 But the streaming beard is shown

 (Weird John Brown),

 The meteor of the the war.; August 3, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Kevin said...: Horace, as much as I dislike Hal I think that our anger is misplaced. The man is shelling out three hundred million. We are getting our brains bashed in by teams spending way less than a third of that. I have to wonder if The Brain isn't skimping somewhere so that he gets a bigger bonus. This has gone on for far too long.; August 3, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Kevin said...: Going back, back, back into the archives for some Robert John! Great catch!; August 3, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Kevin said...: OH YEAH?! Well try this on:
We come on the sloop John B
My grandfather and me
Around Nassau town, we did roam
Drinking all night
Got into a fight
Well, I feel so broke up, I wanna go home

So hoist up the John B's sail
See how the mainsail sets
Call for the captain ashore, let me go home
Let me go home
I wanna go home, ay-yeah-ay
Well, I feel so broke up, I wanna go home

The first mate he got drunk
And broke in the captain's trunk
The constable had to come and take him away
Sheriff John Stone
Why don't you leave me alone? Yeah, yeah
Well, I feel so broke up, I wanna go home

So hoist up the John B's sail (hoist up the John B's sail)
See how the mainsail sets (see how the mainsail sets)
Call for the captain ashore, let me go home
Let me go home, I wanna go home
Let me go home

(Why don't you let me go?)
Hoist up the John B's sail (hoist up the John B)
Feel so broke up, I wanna go home
Let me go home

The poor cook, he caught the fits
And threw away all my grits
And then he took and he ate up all of my corn
Let me go home
Why don't they let me go home?
This is the worst trip I've ever been on

So hoist up the John B's sail (hoist up the John B's sail)
See how the mainsail sets (see how the mainsail sets)
Call for the captain ashore, let me go home
Let me go home, I wanna go home
Let me go home; August 3, 2025 at 9:49 PM
HoraceClarke66 said...: Kevin, I hear ya. Except...why doesn't Hal then replace The Brain, after all these years of falling short? It can only make me conclude that his goal for the Yankees is not another dynasty, or even a single World Series win, but exactly what we've had: contending but falling short, every year, while the money pours in.

It will be very interesting to see if Hal is stupid enough to break up this cozy arrangement next year, by siding with this fellow owners against the players.; August 3, 2025 at 10:31 PM
AboveAverage said...: Got mad weapons too, ain't tryin' to hear that
Tryin' to bring down me, this champion
When y'all clowns gon' see that it can't be done
Understand me son, I'm the slickest they is

I'm the quickest as they is, did I say, I'm the slickest?
They is
So if you barking up the wrong tree we comin'
Don't be startin' nothin'; August 3, 2025 at 10:53 PM
edb said...: The answer to both, A Moron.; August 4, 2025 at 2:02 AM

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)