Saturday, April 18, 2015


Fenway boob grab

Oh, well, it's just words: A-Rod's disgraceful former future, as predicted by Bill Madden

Over the last three years - the Trashing of A-Rod Era - no one has carried more water for the Yankee ownership than the Daily News' Bill Madden. He is the Gunga Din of sportswriters.

Today, following Alex Rodriguez's two-HR performance last night, saving the Yankees from another horrible defeat, let's take a wonder cruise through some of The Bard of BS's greatest hits.

Here's Gunga's ripper piece from last November.

... nobody expects A-Rod to be able to play next season. But as long as he’s in Yankee pinstripes and part of the team, like it or not, he’s the Yankee brand — the big elephant in the room... I have a suggestion for what the skipper’s first question to the Comeback Kid might be: “Did you really pee on that woman’s wall?”

You can practically feel the gin fumes exploding from his pores. Of course, Madden has been assuring everyone of A-Rod's physical collapse for years. Here's one from July 2013.

It is now a frantic footrace with the MLB drug posse for Alex Rodriguez, who will never play another game for the Yankees but is desperately trying to make sure he doesn’t lose a penny of the $100 million owed him on the last 4½ years of his contract... A-Rod has to know he’s never going to be remotely close to the player he once was,... The sooner he goes away — for good — the better off everyone, including A-Rod, will be.

That year, Madden was on a roll.

... the most hated man in baseball, a man depicted as a serial drug cheat at war with his own team. Rodriguez has hired so many lawyers in his case against baseball that one camp doesn’t know what the other camp is doing. And when it is all over, he is very likely to have spent more money on lawyers than he loses from any suspension, however long it may be.

OK, one final blast from 2013.

“It’s all about him getting his money and not losing it to suspension,” one source close to the situation told the Daily News. “He knows he’s never going to the Hall of Fame. All that’s left for him is to make sure he gets his money — all of it.” One way to do that is for Rodriguez to return to game action, find he can no longer perform up to his standards, then retire before he’s hit with a suspension without pay. 

Two years ago, Subway Squawkers did a great job of chronicling Madden's hate obsession over A-Rod. One gem: Writer Lisa Swan noted that the Daily News' back page blasted A-Rod's "evil plan" - attempting a comeback, and wanting to be paid - on the same day Aaron Hernandez was indicted for murder. 


Friday, April 17, 2015

There Is Panic In The Yankee Suite

My Mac is corrupted at the moment, so I can only post words on this I - pad.

The Yankees are already talking about throwing in the towel on Refsnyder ( who fields like Nunez......don't all of our young infielders?), and trading the farm for a Braves AAA second baseman.

Maybe he'll be as helpful in a few years as McCann.  The talk is we dump Refsnyder, Pirela and
 Sanchez.  The only thing is: the Braves want Sevarino, too.  What a bargain.

And, with luck, we'll get another bozo of Didi's quality.

So Joe is now saying, " let's keep in mind, Didi's is starting at 25......"  Yeah.  So what?  I can point out a pouch full of mlb players who are starting much younger than that and playing like professionals.

In the end.  This is all Cashman's fault.  His terrible scouts, incompetent talent evaluators, the coaches who cannot develop skills in players.  It is all on him.

All eyes on big May 22 match-up, when Yankees take on the Rangers

It might just be the next time the Retrieval Empire plays a team with a worse record.

After this weeked with the Rays, we go:

Tigers, Mets, Rays, Redsocks, Blue Jays, Orioles, Rays, Royals, Nationals... and then the Rangers.

In the old, Torre days, the Yankees would get off to a bad start and then feast on KC, Cleveland, Toronto, et al. Right now, I'm not even sure we stack up well against the Astros (at least for another year.)

Robbie Cano, didn't ya know?

Cheer up, Yankiverse. Sure, our 2015 season is already circling the drain, but we can still stop to sniff the roses along the base paths. We can still cherish the delightful vagaries of life: Watching Redsock injuries mount like cord wood, and cheering when money-hungry ex-Yanks crap their beds.

Case in point: On Wednesday, Robbie Cano mistakenly thought the bases were loaded - there were only runners on second and third - when his Seattle teammate drew a walk. Robbie casually trotted in from third base and was tagged out, effectively killing a rally in the Mariners' 5-2 loss to the Dodgers.

Mm-mm. Delicious. Calgon Beauty Bath Beads... TAKE ME AWAYYYYYY!

Once upon a time, Cano was going to be a great Yankee. His uniform was destined to be retired. But money called. I don't blame Robbie for wheedling all the thin dimes he can squeeze from the MLB tower of billionaires. But I'll lie in my grave still believing he blew it by running to Seattle. He'd have made more by staying a Yankee for life. It saddens me that neither he - nor his financial guru, Jay-Z - understood this. Oh well, what's done is done...

But Cano's Yankee presence was never anything like Derek Jeter's. It was hard to imagine Robbie as captain, or even the leader of the Yankees. Last year, soon after he fled the crumbling Yankee pyramid scheme, the Gammonites started blathering about his grand clubhouse presence and leadership, piling up the crapola on how Robbie would bring his Yankee winning ways to Seattle. It's an old and tried narrative, and it's a double-bank shot, because they could take a back-handed slap at the Yankees... who did the right thing by letting him go.

The fact is, in Cano's last post-season, 2012, against the Tigers, he went 1 for 18 (.056) and they were crucial at-bats. He out-choked A-Rod, who was roundly condemned. (Also, a week earlier against Baltimore in the 2012 ALDS, Robbie went 2-for-23. Yes, he took off the entire month of October.)

So this week, Robbie embarrasses himself with the kind of bonehead play that would have gotten Didi Gregorious kicked out of NY. If it happened here, the locals would be screaming.

Robbie will make $24 million per year through 2023. Nine more seasons. Good luck with that, Seattle.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Let's Win One For The Gipper !

These Yankees are fighters.

They don't go out with a whimper, but with a bang.

Sure, Cashman has created another phoney set of hopes and expectations.

True, the " I'm not cheap" brothers failed to invest in the future.

But, dammit, these Yankees are going down to Tampa ( St. Petersburg, actually ), to take on the last, but not least, of their AL East division rivals.  And they are going down with a chip on their shoulders.

Cashman's team lost 2 of 3 to Toronto.
Cashman's team lost 2 of 3 to Boston.
Cashman's team lost 2 of 3 to Baltimore.

Who was it who said, " the secret to being successful in this game is to win each series?"  Brian Cashman.  And Joe Girardi.  And Joe Torre. And Casey Stengel.  And George Steinbrenner.  It is the one universal truth of baseball.  The one thing you can predict.

So let's get behind this team.  Let's not give up a thing.  Not a pitch.  Not an error. Not a scratch hit. Let's battle hard, every second.

Let's go down to meet the Tampa Rays and win one for the Gipper.

1 of 3, that's our speed.  We own it.

Yanks Getting Comfortable In Basement

Hal's home basement (shown here) is nice, in a medieval, royal kind of way, but the Yankees will need more than columns and rocks.

Our guys are athletes, after all. A well-equipped basement gym is de rigueur!

Anyone up for practicing their golf swing? Whaddya say, McCann? Bet you can break 200!

Always important to relax. Watch 'Field of Dreams,' 'Moneyball,' 'Pride of the Yankees'...

We're from Noo Yawk, muthafucka!

The Derek Jeter Memorial Lounge.

Saturday night is Foosball Night!

Hey, watch it! That's not the cue ball, it's Girardi's head!

As cozy and comfy as the basement may be, it's important for the young guys to think they can climb out of it if they really really really try!

It takes Cashman's 17-year farm system vision...but if anyone can do it, it's the 1966, er, 2015 New York Yankees! 

Latest news from the meltdown front: No lead is safe

Last winter, Brian Cashman played an interesting strategy... sort of like in the board game Risk, when you stash all your armies in Australia. He hoarded bullpen "power" arms. He traded Frankie Cervelli for one. (Frankie's hitting .304 in Pittsburgh.) He traded Manny Banuelos for two of them. (Manny with a 2.08 ERA at Triple A.) He traded Shawn Kelly, a power arm, for another one, (who never even got invited to spring training.) He let David Robertson walk and signed a cheaper replacement. He churned through the waiver wire, the Yankee version of catch-and-release trout fishing. And the Gammonites agreed: The Yankees' strength this year would be their bullpen.

Bullpen and defense. That's how you win the big garbanzo bean.

So much for that.

The latest Yankee meltdown - this, in a season devoted to them - is a reminder of the old political domino theory, the one that every now and then costs the world a million lives: Once a domino topples somewhere, the columns never stop. If you don't halt the commies in the marshes of Vietnam, they'll soon be running through the streets of Omaha. First to fall was the Yankee offense. Then came the defense. Then the base-running, and then the rotation. Last night, the bullpen followed suit. We are a five-tool cellar-dweller.

Tell me a strength of the 2015 Yankees, and I'll show you the next domino to fall.

Listen: It's far too early to plan leaf-peeking treks in October. The 2015 Yankees have shown guts, injuries could repaint the AL East and - exciting news here - Chris Capuano is throwing BP! At some point, the Yankees will make their run. They'll win five, maybe six in a row, prompting Cashman to be hailed as a grand guru. (There are no shortages of victory laps during a Yankee hot streak.) But this drone won't fly. Cashman has been the Yankees GM since 1998, the first year he vowed to build a farm system. He's now run the team 17 years. Seriously: If he were going to build a system, wouldn't he have done it by now?

Sometimes, I think we are merely tracking through a reincarnation phase of George Steinbrenner, via his son, Hal... aka, "I'm Not Cheap." One more lost season, and Cashman will probably be kicked upstairs. That would usher in a GM revolving door phase - the Syd Thrift and Murray Cook era. The Stick Michael phase could be five to seven years down the road. Someday - I might not live long enough to see it - a Yankee team will emerge, and the name will be restored. Right now, we are the worst in the AL East, and the dominoes haven't even begun to start falling.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Did Detroit pick Cashman's pocket in the Didi trade?

Altogether now...

It's early, but... It's early, but... It's EARLY, but... It's early, BUT... It is early, but... It's early but... It's too early, but... It's way too early, but... It's early, thus... It's early, but... It's early, but... It's early, but... It's EARLY, but... It's early, BUT... It is early, but... It's early but... It's too early, but... It's way too early, but... It's early, thus... It's early, but...It's early, but... It's early, but... It's EARLY, but... It's early, BUT... It is early, but... It's early but... It's too early, but... It's way too early, but... It's early, thus... It's early, but...

Eight Reasons Justin Bieber was beaten up and kicked out of Coachella

1. To get into Coachella, you need a sense of music.

2. He yelled "WOOO" during a poignant, story-telling segment of AC/DC's set.

3. It's a fun festival. People had fun beating him up.

4. Coachella wasn't receiving enough publicity.

5. He was perched on his bodyguard's shoulders, topless, blocking views of the stage.

6. They thought he was Nick Jonas.

7. He threatened to perform.

8. Come on, it's Justin Bieber. Like, anybody needed a reason?

Yanks Occupy Cellar - A Taste Of The Bottom

This is what it looks like.

The Yankees live here now, and they are all by themselves.

I know.  It's early yet.

So they don't expect to remain here.

Do they?

Here's a hopeful thought, Yankee fans: Keith Law at ESPN rates the Pawtucket Redsocks as the best MLB minor league roster

Here's something else that Law notes...

This doesn't count the looming addition of Yoan Mocada.

Of course, the Yankee faithful will dismiss this 
as ESPN's usual pro-Boston bias.

Funny how that works.

Is This A Trend?

For each three games played, we have won a single game.  If this holds tonight, the Yanks will be 1-2 in Camden Yards, and loser of three straight series.  A major confidence boost to their upcoming trip to St. Petersburg.

I am still pissed that not a single one of the 5 guys against whom the shift is used, will try to hit it to the open side of the infield.  Most of these clowns are hitting .200 or worse.  Why not, on the first pitch ( if remotely in the strike zone, which it usually is ) of every at bat, take a half swing and try to punch something to the left?  If it is a pop-up, it likely won't get caught.  If it is a ground ball, it could wind up a double ( except that Beltran , McCann and Tex can't run a lick).

Seriously.  What is going on? If any of these guys even makes contact with the ball, it will be a plus, and a successful attempt will cause the other team to think twice.  At least it isn't predictably boring.
And each of them can strike out on the next two pitches anyway.  Right now, their at-bats are predictably boring with predictably awful results.

We know they can't bunt, so just stick the bat out and give a weak hack.  The only aim being to make contact between the bat and ball.  It is just disgraceful that no one tries.  That is why the other team can so brazenly put on the shift.

They know the Yankee batters are idiots, driven by some macho vision that they are too good to dribble a double to third base.  To these Yankee batters, it isn't doing things to help the team win that counts, it is looking good while not trying, and failing that matters.

Meanwhile, they dribble on their shirts instead and hit .150.  And the Yankees keep losing.

Okay  It is early yet.  But if we are saying that in June.....

Last night's cascade of booing A-Rod would have put a smile on P.T. Barnum's lips

Last night, Team Boredom lost again. It happened fast, although - with all Yankee losses - time seems to suspend itself. Three hours move like 10, especially when opposing pitchers are rolling through our lineup like a Fleet enema. But in the ninth, with two outs, Joe Girardi finally gave the good people of Maryland what they came for:

A chance to dunk the carnival clown.

Alex Rodriguez stepped to the plate in an avalanche of boos. With every pitch, the chorus grew louder. Nobody was leaving. This was why they came. This was the grand event that justified buying a ticket.

In that moment, I had a revelation about the 2015 Yankees, at least from the standpoint of our esteemed ownership:

A-Rod is this year's Reverse Jeter Farewell Tour.

As long as the Yankees have Alex, there will always be some kinky, disturbed, self-abasing reason for people to watch. And fans will always pay good money to yell obscenities at the freak.

The team doesn't have to be any good. It can flounder around .500 - (which right now would be an improvement; we haven't won a series yet.) As long as it has A-Rod, it will have fannies in the seats and noise in the stadiums. Funny how the world goes, eh?

Should Yankee fans start rooting for a complete collapse?

I was talking with a Yankee fan yesterday about the bad old days, the era of Hoss Clarke and Fred Talbot, in the late 1960s. He said something I hadn't really thought about: That the days of Roger Repoz and Lindy McDaniel are some of his most cherished Yankee memories, because that dark era separated real Yankee fans from the fair-weather hordes. It culled the herd, I guess.

If the Bombers had simply rolled on from Mantle and Maris into an extended dynasty, I'm not sure if I would be a Yankee fan now. We'd have learned to take pennants for granted. Maybe the Yankees had to be bad in order to keep their fans truly loyal...

Strange, the thoughts you have, when you're staring at a .500 team.

Well, everybody knows it's way too early to throw in the towel on 2015. I get it. But that's a micro view of the Yankees. That's the view over the next week. If we just win five in a row, we'll be in first! But the long-term macro view has me worrying.

In that context, it's time to consider a worser worst-case scenario than merely enduring one more down year. It's time to ponder a decade of crapola teams, similar to the Talbot/Hoss era, or the 14-year barf between 1981 and 1995.

In both cases, the Yankees only started to improve after bottoming out. In 1990, they came in last and drafted Brien Taylor, number one. The following year - still horrendous - they picked Derek Jeter.

Once again, let me state that April is too soon to give up on the 2015 season. But the handwriting on our wall is written with a Sharpie, and it's not washing off. Last night, once again, we watched an old, old, OLD team, which is prone toward injuries that will slooooooly heal. Even if our aging stars do start hitting, they're all big candidates for the DL. And if they don't hit - well - we're stuck with them until they get hurt. If we win the next five, yeah, we'll be in first place. But dammit, it's hard to see this team being up there in July.

So... should we start hoping for the worst?

If the 2015 Yankees completely collapse, it would embarrass the House of Steinbrenner, whose heir owners certainly must remember growing up with the team as an abomination and their dad as a national, late night punch line. New York is a tough place to come in last. There isn't much anyone can do next year - we can't sign any international stars, because the team overspent on a raft of 16-year-old Latinos last fall. Those kids - if they ever make it - won't arrive before 2020. There is talent at Trenton, but every team in baseball has a wave of promising Double A stars.

The fact is this: The next great Yankee is not necessarily in our system.

Our best hope for 2015 is that a wave of injuries decimates the AL East, bringing them all down to our level. Barring that happening, our best shot seems to be the Wild Card. Almost everyone contends for the Wild Card. But we actually may have to root for the worst - for a pile of losses that eliminate hope and cause Hal to start dumping players, rather than trading prospects for another Alfonso or Ichiro. If the Yankees finish low, they can do what Boston did last winter: Start over.

Let's face it: Hal will never sell this team. Nor will he ever lose money, regardless of poor attendance and declining YES viewership. But he can be shamed.

In the meantime, a lot of fans may switch to the Mets. Let them go. It's time for Yankee fans to settle in and accept this team for what it is.

We may someday look back on Chris Capuano... and laugh.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Is That Nunez At Short?

So I just finished watching the most boring Yankee offense of all time, posting 10 strikeouts through the first 7 innings.  A personal best for the 30 year old journeyman pitcher of the O's.

Seriously, you could predict the K's with impunity.  Yankee batters would take a meat ball down the middle for strike one, and then flail at balls in the dirt.  Making no contact whatsoever.

For awhile, we had as many errors as hits.  Which brings me to my point;

Didi was hitting .120  before blooping an opposite field single in the 8th.  I remember when he got hot for a while in spring training, and I thought we might have something.  Having given up Shawn Greene, among others, to get him ( Shawn is 2-0 for Detroit and pitched another gem today), I really felt comforted that we might have a legitimate player who was going to blossom in the pinstripes.

However, there are so many plays he botches that Derek made, even in his latter years.  Double play balls have become a high risk proposition and, rather than routine, a spectacle of errors.  It is high drama when the Yankees have a chance to kill a rally by turning a ground ball into two outs.  And Tex continues to make amazing plays on poor throws, saving even more disaster.

So far, I have seen a guy( Didi) who can't hit a lick, doesn't run the bases well, and makes all kinds of errors both physical and mental.  Nunny comes to mind.  Only Nunez could hit.

Are we screwed or is it far too early to judge?

By the way, it was great to see Murphy nail two base-stealers yesterday.  He redeemed himself on that count, a bit.

Cock-a-doodle Drew: Dare we start hoping?

When the Yankees signed Stephen Drew, I threw up.

I hated, hated, HATED the deal. A typical Cashman move: Another old guy with a ceiling made of concrete, who'll start hot and then end up hitting .210 around the all-star break, when we finally accept the reality of his abilities... and then discard him.

Vernon Wells. Travis Hafner. Andruw Jones. Alfonso Soriano. Brian Roberts. The list goes on.

I'm still not sold on Drew. Every one of the above players hit well for the Yankees at the start... and then petered out into a team-crushing nothingness. April can be strong. June is the crucible.

As a fan, there is nothing worse than rooting against one of your own players, because you've concluded that the only way for the team to move forward is getting rid of him. Carlos Beltran is dabbling a toe in those waters.

But Drew was last night's hero, and let's give the guy his due. If Didi Gregorious keeps playing as stupidly as he's done - if his baseball I.Q. of 75 was the reason Arizona jettisoned him - Drew may have to play SS. And .210 might be 30 points over the next candidate. This is life in the middle of the pack, and Yankee fans everywhere should get used to it.

Ugly v. Awful: The last thing the Yankees need is a legal fight over A-Rod's upcoming "milestone" home run

Barring a tweaked gonad or a new scandal, Alex Rodriguez will soon pass the beloved Willie Mays for fourth place on the all-time career HR list, and close in on Barry Bonds for No. 1 on the all-time career list of paying lawyers.

A-Rod currently has 655 -  HRs that is, not lawyers - just five below Willie. At his current rate, Alex should pass Willie around May Day, meaning the Yankees are supposed to shell out a $6 million bonus. This stems from the ridiculous contract A-Rod signed in 2007, just six weeks after he opted out of his Yankee deal during the World Series and prompted then the then oafish son-of-destiny, Hank Steinbrenner, to tell him to go to hell.

Who ever thought Hank was the smart son?

After this season, A-Rod will make $60 million over the next two years, playing until age 42. After he beats Willie, he'll need 54 HRs to pass Babe Ruth - and get another $6 million. He'll then need another 41 to tie Hank Aaron, and then just seven to beat Barry Bonds. Odds are, Alex will end up third. And if you think the man is hated now, wait until he closes in on the Babe.

I understand now why MLB installed the metal detectors.

The Yankees don't want to pay A-Rod's milestone bonuses. They say his name is piss - unlike their pristine Yankee brand - and they can't monetize his career achievements. These days, whenever Hal Steinbrenner talks, all you hear is the sound of a happy chicken coop - "cheep, cheep, cheap." He's going for three straight seasons out of the playoffs, but he's making money. Feeling sorry for Hal is like feeling sorry for Justin Beiber.

Then again, who likes A-Rod? Last night, he experienced the sound of away games, which will be the noise Kevin Youkilis generated in Boston. One fan simply stood and turned away. The Baltimore Gammonites interviewed the guy. God help Alex if his batting average dips into Carlos Beltran range. Then he'll hear it in NYC, too.

But somewhere here, the two Evils need to recognize one truth: They not only deserve each other, but they need each other. If the Yankees can make a run at anything, they need Alex Rodriguez in the lineup and hitting. If a legal battle slows his bat, it's yet another sign of the penny-pinching mediocrity atop of the Yankee masthead. A fish always rots from the head down.

It's amazing to think that the Yankees - with their still new stadium and YES network billions - would go to war over the kind of money that brings the likes of Gregorio Petit and that Tracy pitcher, the one who came up Saturday and then was released Sunday. That Hal will chase $6 million from A-Rod is the perfect symbol of this season and this organization. They will fight over lice.

So here's the solution, folks - free! It's simple. A-Rod should designate all or most of the HR milestone money toward a charity - chosen by Willie Mays, I say. Alex should take the tax write-off, and the Yankees should honor the contracts they sign. (It might be the difference in a future free agent choosing to come to NY.) They should put this thing behind them before it starts to pinch. This team will have plenty of crises. There's no need to create them for the sake of movie money.

Monday, April 13, 2015


Sunoco has transformed the Yankee broadcast booth into a magical place

Certainly not driven by Cheap.


"Barry Bonds can't understand why the New York Yankees continue to turn a blind eye to Alex Rodriguez's needing only five home runs to tie Willie Mays in fourth place on the all-time list."

Uhh...wait, hold on, I know this one...

Because they're assholes?

Because he is, too?

Because Bonds is?

At least one of those, I'm pretty sure...

The Scranton Effect

There is a sad song that tells the story of what happens to eager young Yankees who are sent to Scranton.

This is the story of two.

Rob Refsnyder - who hit .426 in spring training for the Yankees.

Slade Heathcott - who hit over .300 and was awarded the Yankee's " rookie of the year " award for spring training.

Slade is an outfielder who can play any position.  But he is blocked by Carlos Beltran, whom the Yankees pay $15 million a year to hit.100 ( he is 2 for 20 ).

Refsnyder is a former outfielder the Yankees are converting to second base.  Clearly, he needs work at the position, but Drew last night ( whom the Yankees pay $5 million, and who will never be an offensive threat  ) threw away the easy double play ball that extended Tanaka to 38 pitches during the inning that got the Red Socks back within striking distance.

But both of these eager prospects were given a hand shake and a bus ticket back to anthracite country, while a bunch of old guys and no names came north to the stadium.  In Scranton,  the team travels by bus, eats cole slaw and shiny, deli sandwiches from Patrone's, and generally remains demoralized.

So far, these two young stars have adjusted accordingly;

1.  Refsnyder is hitting .250.
2.  Heathcott is hitting .214

I know.  It is early yet.

It Remains A Little Foggy

As I settled into my Lazy-Boy, a freshly made Crown Royal manhattan in my hand, I prepared for the worst.

Would Tanaka get lit up?  Would he throw the four-seamer at all,?  Go up in the strike zone from time to time?

My nerves caused a bit of a gulping syndrome, so I was down a full manhattan when Tankaka recorded the third out of the opening inning.

As the bottom of the inning unraveled, and A-Rod hit " a pitchers best friend" into the gap in left center ( if there are any Norwegians signed onto this blog,  a" pitcher's best friend" is a 3 run
double ), I got up and went to the bar where I had stashed a pitcher of M's.  I poured my self a second and enjoyed the ride.

Two run homers, back to back homers.  Everyone was joining the party.  With a 7-0 lead , after one inning, I began to panic.  It is one thing to score 7 in the 6th or 7th inning, and quite another to lead off with that.  It was clear that Boston was going to stay with Buckholtz, even if he gave up 16.  They needed length, at that was now his job.  And what if Boston came back, and won this game?

So I cheered at every Red Socks out.  Every failing.  I even listened to that turd Shilling talk about how Tanaka had to show he could go "up and down" in the strike zone, as well as from east to west.

Then, our defense kicked in.  A sure-thing inning ending DP, with two men on.  But Drew throws the ball far too wide for Didi to catch it and everyone is safe.  I took a break here and went to the pitcher ( my pitcher ).  That error, the 9th for the Yankees so far this season, led to runs for Boston ( in the end, it was sort of Tanaka's fault, as he had walked the lead-off hitter with a 7 run lead) and, worse, extended Tanaka's pitch count to 38 for the inning.

I sleep walked threw the next few frames, figuring the Yankees only score the 7.  But I was wrong.  So wrong.  The last manhattan was purely celebratory( we had 12 runs!), but it did me in.  I never saw the last two outs of the 9th.  I don't remember who was pitching for us.  I do know that Tex was no longer playing first base.

Let's see if the offense lives for another day.

The Yankees should hire Curt Schilling

It's galling to watch ESPN - Boston's sports version of Al Jezeera - broadcast a game between the Yankees and Redsocks. If it's not Nomar or Pedro chattering anti-Yankee tirades from the glass booth, we get the ultimate Tele-tubby himself, Curt Schilling, an avowed hater of Pinstripes. The frat-boy network - located in Bristol Palin, Ct., a theoretical fault line between NY and Boston - has long been a breeding-ground for anti-New York jihadists. For Schilling to call a Yankee game is like Rush Limbaugh judging a debate between Ted Cruz and Hillary Clinton.

Nevertheless, desperate times call for desperate measures. Despite last night's luxurious blowout - (thank you, Clay Buchholz) - the Retrieval Empire still occupies a ledge that overlooks an abyss known as "2015 and beyond." We won't soon have a Betts or Bogaerts, or even a Moncata or Castillo. But we do have some options.

I say, hire Curt Schilling. Buy him out of his ESPN contract. Put him on YES or the Yankee Radio Network (which is currently driven by Cheap.) Pay him a boatload of money. Turn him. Leash him. Make him our pet, our bitch, our Hannity.

We might not sign international stars, but at least we can own a stable of talking clowns, especially those who are already elbow deep in debt. It's always fun to watch them turn into Yankee homers.

In the 1980s, the Yankees returned Tom Seaver to NYC, installing him in the booth with Phil Rizzuto. It became a wonderful alliance, showcasing Seaver's wit and winning personality. We came to love the guy. In fact, it was nearly as satisfying as watching Scooter's long friendship develop with Bill White - another former Yankee killer. (When they first hired White, many Yankee fans were incensed that they weren't giving an ex-Yankee the golden retirement ticket.)

The fact is, the best Yankee home announcers come from our opponents. It's rewarding to watch them morph from anti-Yankee soreheads into contented sucklings of the Steinbrenner teat. As much as I may want to hate Schilling for his politics and career legacy, it would be nice to have him slowly evolve into David Cone.

Currently, I rate Coney as the most boisterous Yankee homer. With him, the Yankee glass isn't half full; no, it's a golden pitcher of ambrosia, awaiting the touch of your pursed lips. Before Cone joined YES, most people considered him a former Met, or even KC Royal. At the end of his career, he even pitched for Boston. Now, though, he's a Yankee, pure and distilled, for life.

It's time for the Evil Empire to pluck some ex-Redsock lug nut off the golf course and convert him into our mouthpiece. Schilling would be the perfect prize.

In fact, last night became more enjoyable by the fact that Schilling had to watch his old friend, Buchholz get chased around the barnyard like a stuck pig. I say, let's buy the bastard and lock him in the booth with John and Suzyn for - say - 150 games. Let their cosmic truth rays bombard his Redsockian, lizard brain. He'll learn to scream with delight over the sight of Chase Headley. We are no longer an Empire. But dammit, we can still do Evil.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

The critics are raving about this Yankee ball club!

"... ominously looking like one of the worst Yankee teams in decades..."
Bill Madden

"... not an Evil Empire any longer, just an aging one..."
Mike Lupica

"... they can’t hit, field or run the bases... They are 1-4 and their one victory was a gift basket delivered by the Blue Jays."
Joel Sherman

"... it sure is tough to win then you can’t hit, can’t field, can’t run the bases, and can’t pitch, isn’t it?"
Mike Axisa 

"... lifeless... a wreck..."
Anthony McCarron

"... I can't remember a worse Yankee line-up in 30 years..."

"... if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. And this team is a frickin' abyss."
Friedrich Nietzsche

"...Should we feel hatred? no, not hatred, but boredom - the terrible, hopeless, draining, paralyzing boredom of watching these inferiors."
Ayn Rand

"... It's like Igawa-vu all over again."
Yogi Berra

"... “It would be horrible not to make the playoffs three years in a row. We’d be embarrassed."
Hal Steinbrenner 

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Sunday Night Could Be the Yankee's Version Of; "The Wreck Of The Mary Deere."

Full Fathom Five, thy father lies.  You can't see the tragedy any longer.

It lies buried beneath a tranquil sea.

For those of you who watched the first 8 innings of today's laugher ( for most of the game the Yankee's line was all A-Rod....1 hit...1 run...1 error....all from Mr. Rodriguez).  Then, the errors started to kick in all over.

 Ryan Murphy must have the worst arm of any catcher in baseball.  Weak and off target.  He also was asleep at the switch when some 240 pound Red Sock stole second on a high inside pitch.  It is almost as if Murphy was taking a call on his cell. 

Our fine, multi-purpose right fielder back-up, utility player let a key fly ball pop out of his glove., clearing the bases. Arod, at first, is clown college. Seriously, it is a repeat of last year when Beltran and McCann played games at first base, only with an older, less experienced guy at the position.  Why not let CC Sabathia play there?

 Is this what Brian Cashman has wrought?  Have we only progressed backwards?  Can't wait to hear how, Hal ( "I'm not cheap" ) responds with disappointment and fury at this fiasco of a performance.

Just as an aside;  I can't remember a worse Yankee line-up in 30 years.

So tomorrow night, after a week of excuses and digressions, we get to see Tanaka again.  This could be it folks.  The rocky shoals and the 16 foot waves approach.  If Tanaka goes down again, the Yankees will all know the season is over.

Gulp.  Glug, glug.

Friday night, during the 19-inning game, Bob Costas ran out of things to say

Via Reddit.

At least he's in a better place

You Are Dead Wrong

Last night's loss ( actually, this morning's loss ) was the standard for the season.

The old Yankees will valiantly give effort, but fail.  The legs tire, the arms tire, the mind tires.  The team loses the close ones.  Every time.

Today, all the talk will be that Adam Warren has to give the bullpen a rest.  He has to go 8 innings.  Unlikely.  But the red socks pitcher might.

And our young guns, Noonan, Petit and Pirela ( on the DL ), will have to outshine the Boston rookie sensations.  GFL on that one, folks.

The season is over.

You are dead wrong when you say it isn't.

And in the end... the loss you take, is equal to the loss you make

After 19 innings, The Master - age 76 - calls the final, torturous play.


"I think A-Rod hates me." Jimmy Fallon recounts his beer-chugging experience at Yankee Stadium

Of course, considering Fallon's involvement in the anti-Yankee movie "Fever Pitch," this is like General Sherman returning to Atlanta.

Did The Master use the f-word last night? Let's go to the videotape

The question, via Reddit, goes this way: Did a weary John Sterling in the 19th inning last night, utter the f-word?

I managed to get to the audio feed, to the point where the writer contends that John used the f-word. Listen for yourself.

My take: He did NOT swear. Not even close. Just after Suzyn talks about wishing she lived closer to the stadium, he says, jokingly, 'WHY?" It's a little garbled, but it's not a curse.

For the record, you can love or hate Sterling, but let's face it: He is far too much a professional to ever swear on the air. Even in a 19 inning Yankee loss.

In a season of discontent, there will be valiant, but crushing defeats, which never leave you. Last night, we suffered one

Well, it's over.

Last night's game, that is. Not the season.

I can't say I watched the full seven hours. It's too early in the year, and - frankly - the Yankees are too depressing to experience for seven straight hours. It'd be like sitting through a Shia LaBeouf marathon performance art piece, or binge-watching all 63 episodes of "Six Feet Under." Seven straight hours? Even toll booth operators get 15-minute breaks.

But there are losses, and then there are losses, and some leave a lump inside you that never does show up on an x-ray. Over the years, the Yankees have won their share of epic battles. But this is a new incarnation of a team of old relics, and last night will never make a Yankee Classic.

We should be proud of them. They never quit. Three times they battled back to tie the game in the bottom of an inning. Three times. That's heroic. They've practically equaled last year's entire output of comebacks. Trouble is, when you make dramatic comebacks like that, you're supposed to win the effing game. Today, I am reminded of the last great meaningful loss for the Yankees - in 2012, when Raul Ibanez homered against the Tigers to vault us into extra innings. (Hear The Master's call.) It led to Derek Jeter breaking his ankle and, quite frankly, never being quite the same. Last night was a cruelty that could linger all season, especially if we're battling - as expected - for the Wild Card scraps.

Chase Headley was a hero. Mark Teixeira was a hero. Even Carlos Beltan saved us. But at the end, Boston's wave of youth - Betts and Bogaerts - won the night. The dark truth is that we have nothing like them on our roster, and we may be entering the most dispiriting Yankee era since the Redsocks unveiled Freddy Lynn and Jim Rice - and they also have Moncata in the wings. (Thank you, Hal.)

Hate to be so depressed. But this morning, how can one not be? A few more setbacks, and we may have to call an INTERNATIONAL JUJU INTERVENTION.

It's early. But damn, it feels like it's getting late.