I Hate Days Like This

Would David Adams have gone 3-4?

Would we get no hit by the knuckler?

Would CC have shined?

Would Overbay save us again?

Go read a book.

Aybar to Wynegar, Pujols to Smalley: The '13 Angels are the '83 Yankees

For a lost generation of Yankee fans, 1983 was Season Two in the 14-Year Barf - the hellish stretch of Tartabulls and Barfields that came between Thurman/Reggie and Bernie/Jeet. It was Iron Man II... the second Bush term... the marriage between Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney... except it lasted 161 games, instead of two weeks.

I know what you're thinking: Shirley, you jest! As in Bob Shirley. That year, we finished out of the running despite such Old Timers Day luminaries as Jerry Mumphries and Steve Kemp. We were on our way to likes of Mel Hall, Andy Hawkins, Deion Sanders, Claudell Washington and the Perez brothers, Pascual and Melido - all while spending the most money in the game. Yes, folks, it can happen. And watching it - and perhaps being scarred for life - were two teenagers named Hal Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman.

Which brings us to the Los Angeles, California, Angels of Anaheim, or whatever they call themselves. Hell's Angels are 16 and 27, the second worst team in the American League, after Houston. That's like saying herpes is the second worst virus going around, after Ebola. The Lastros have a lineup of Theotis Nobodies. The Angels last winter signed Josh Hamilton, ($17 million) adding him to the line up of Trout, Kendricks, Trumbo and Pujols. Pitching? They signed CJ Wilson two winters ago.

Plus, for the last 10 years, the Angels had a seemingly inexhaustible supply of hot prospects, thanks in part to an aggressive policy of spending over slot money to draft picks. Their payroll lists them 7th in the MLB, behind the top dogs - the Dodgers, the Yankees, Phillies, Tigers, Redsocks and Giants.

Second to last in the AL West. They ditched Vernon Wells to the Yankees for a bag of corn meal. He has 10 HRs on the season.

This will change, of course. They should start winning. But in the 1980s, George Steinbrenner had a tendency to panic around May/June - start lawn sales to boost the team and win the back page. Will the Angels?

We know the Mariners will collapse. Oakland? Crap shot. Texas could be for real, and all the AL West teams get extra games against Houston - a huge advantage in the Wild Card race.

But the similarities are there. And Shirley, they mean something.

Let's Give Some Credit Where It Is Due..

One of our blogger mates noted in a comment to an El Duque post ( below somewhere ), that Curtis Granderson did not play last night.

And the Yankees won.

I agree.

This team is better off without any of its so-called, " stars."

Except Robbie, who has been riding this team bus from the outset.

Traffic snarls on the Major Deegan nearly ruin big Yankee win for John and Suzyn

Joy over last night's big Yankee win - (Note: Every Yankee win is a big Yankee win) - was nearly muted by hell-hole traffic on the Major Deegan Expressway, "the worst highway in America," Suzyn labeled it.

If the God of the Old Testament exists, the architects of that miserable concrete ribbon someday will break out in fiery boils and watch their children sold into slavery. It's always bad. But yesterday, it became intolerable. 

John refrained from condemning the roadway, outright. That's not his style. But The Master didn't disagree with Suzyn's assessment. It took an hour and a half to get to the game. An hour and a half. In the fourth inning, he was expecting his family to visit the booth, but they were probably still out there, sitting on the Deeg. An hour and a half.

"Everybody here has a story to tell about getting to work," John said.

An hour and a half. That's not America. How can you live happily when it takes an hour and a half to get to work? NY is getting to be like California. Suzyn noted that out in California, if you ask someone how far away a destination is, they'll say, "It's 20 minutes, without traffic."

"But," she asked, "when is there ever no traffic?"

The radio airwaves filled with the sound of John shaking his head.

Only one positive last night: Hiroki Kuroda and a big Yankee win. This plucky ball club has a knack for winning when its pitchers throw shutouts. And John noted one slight benefit to all that traffic on the Deegan.

A lot of fans, he said, were out there sitting in traffic, listening to the game on the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Jeep.

Weird or what: On the same day, Scranton loses both "The Office" and Dellin Betances

Last night, Scranton lost it's biggest tourist attraction after Chien-Ming Wang.

It was to Scranton as It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is to Trenton. Much like most of the Yankee prospects who have moved through Moosic, it stayed there about three years too long. Nevertheless, like Alberto Gonzalez pitching in the ninth, you had to watch.

So... you missed it, eh? You were watching the Knicks or the Rangers or - gasp - The Mentalist. What happened? Well, not much. There were tears and speeches. It kept both heels pressed on the poignancy pedal. But the plot arcs ended happily. We were left - as  Yankee fans often are - pondering a change, and we're not sure in which direction it will take us.

Of course, like Seinfeld, Cheers, Taxi, et al, this will go on forever in syndication. If you missed last night, no problem. It will keep replaying until the asteroid hits, and if the machines outlast us, it will keep replaying after we're gone.

But everybody in Scranton today knows that it's over.

Dellin Betances is now a Yankee.

Calling All Molinas.....Calling all Penas....Calling all Bench's

The number of qualified catchers we now have is dwindling.  Go ahead, count 'em.

Cervelli is still down for a long count.

 Stewart pulled a groin last night and, for a catcher, that is grim news.  It is not a,  "a day to day thing,"  when a player plays from a crouch and is active on every pitch.

He will be out a long time and that is a major loss.

Stewart has shocked us all, playing exceptional defense, throwing well, and even hitting a bit.

Now we have the Romine we all wanted to see.  A catcher who bats .080 or less, but a catcher nonetheless.  Perhaps his AAA batting eye will return with regular work.

So I am putting out a call to all retirees. If you are 40+ and once regarded as a great defensive catcher, please call the Yankees.  Money is good and accommodations first class.

Great clubhouse snacks, and the curried chicken salad is to die for.

We are down to one catcher and JR Murphy in AA.  That's a stretch to say two catchers.

Count 'em.

Will the Montero-Pineda trade turn out to have been a huge transaction of nothingness?

Last night, I'm chewing on McChicken parts in a White Plains doofuss bar, where all the TV screens but one are tuned into the eternal Knicks and Rangers hell worlds - (too painful for my delicate system.) I'm watching the tube where YES - the Yankees version of Fox News Channel - flashes a graphic of Michael Pineda, the great beached whale of Tampa, and I try to imagine what the Yankee Hannity hucksters are saying. I figure it's an update: Today, Pineda threw off a supermodel's stomach or ate 50 eggs in 30 minutes, or maybe passed his 12-step certification - some blah-blah-blah to remind us that this budding goliath remains in our custody, planning to someday rise from the sea and stomp Tokyo into a giant pile of animal bedding.

Moments later, up to the plate strides Jesus Montero, the Second Coming of Thurman, or Chili Davis, or maybe Matt Nokes - nobody yet knows. I strain to see Jesus's batting average, which stands at - huh? - .203. OK, I figure he's hitting for power, right? Nope. Three HRs, nine RBIs. Those are Gus Molina numbers. Those are not the numbers of the Baby Jesus who for the last six years dominated every Yankee prospect Top Ten List the way Beyoncé rules the pop charts.

(Note to self: Remember this next winter, when Yankiverse goes crazy over Top Ten Prospect Lists.)

Moreover, in the ninth - when I'm in a secure location with audio, Montero nearly throws a ball into leftfield on a stolen base, and the announcers mention he is 1 for 19 in catching base stealers. (Gardner promptly steals third, making him 1 for 20.) In other words, baserunners have a friend in Jesus, and unless the savior changes his ways, he's destined for the Seattle version of Scranton - a location that, until recently, was believed to exist only in the writings of H.P. Lovecraft.

So after all the gnashing of gteeth, all the sound and the fury (signifying nothing) - and, yes, folks, I know Hector Noesi pitched well last night, and that the overly hyped Campos youngster is still - well - young - but after all the chest-beating, the 2012 winter trade looks like an exchange of Raleigh Coupons for Pepsi Points. (Sorry, Mallo Cup fans.) It had the gravity of a treaty between Hitler and Stalin. It was a big fat mirage: Two teams trading a bucket of magic beans, neither of which would ever grow.

And right now, last night notwithstanding, it looks like we won on the hell deal, because Pineda is striking out imaginary batters in Tampa. As long as he's not in Scranton, getting Bootchecked by the Mud Hens, we can sit in our dark bedrooms and still fantasize the Betances-tall Pineda throwing 150-mph strikes. Call the game, everybody! We won the deal. Final score: Yankees 0, the Mariners Negative 1.

Then again... they did dish us Ichiro, didn't they? Strange how these transactions play out in their second lives, am I right?

First game all season we should have won

It was as if the 2012 Yankees returned.

Never thought we'd lose until that final out.

No Hafner to pinch hit for Nix?

Why, Gards, did you wait until the ninth?

Andy, are you OK?
What happened to Chris Stewart?
Is everything falling apart?

Did we celebrate this team too soon?

Chris Bootcheck Boot Check: Never mind

I don't think we'll do these anymore.

Has Vernon Wells become Joe Girardi's Ruben Sierra?

In the final days of the Joe Torre Era, the resurrection of Ruben Sierra was one of the great joys to behold.

In his first Yankee incarnation, Sierra whined that the team only cared about winning, not HR totals, prompting him to pitched out like a plate of bad clams. When he returned, Sierra was an elder statesman, clubhouse leader and warrior against evil - so much that Torre, in a season-ending mini-tradition, chose Ruben to manage the final game.  And when Sierra took out a pitcher, he mimicked Torre's walk so perfectly that both dugouts cracked up.

I don't know if Vernon Wells can do Girardi's hand-wipe across the forehead. But he came to NY with his share of critics.  Did you hear the way he was booed in Toronto? (Maybe he'll hear it in LA, too.) Much of it was his big contract - (it amazes and distresses me how fans blame players for bad contracts, letting the owners skate) - But Vernon Wells has an officer and a gentleman in NY, and I think last night Girardi gave him a loving back-slap by letting him play 2B in the final, meaningless inning.

Wells is having a great season. If he stays on course - big if - there is no reason to think he can't hit 35 HRs, drive in 100 and bat .280. He's done this before. He's not too old. Whatever issues he had are in his head. And he's been given a second chance - maybe his final chance - on baseball's greatest stage. If there is a better candidate for Comeback Player of the Year, tell me who? (OK, Mariano, yeah, but dammit, don't stop me when I'm on a roll.)

Can Vernon become Joe's Ruben? (Woah, that sounds kinky.) Let's hope. Otherwise, we're left to wondering whether we already had his Ruben - the name was Raul - and in a spasm of owner chinziness, we punted on him. No more cries of Rauuuul. It's Verrrrrrrrrrn!

Observations:

1.  I think I previously offered the idea that this Yankee team might just get worse as each injured
" star " returns.

Case in point:  The first to return was Granderson.  He promptly killed a rally by grounding into a DP in his first at bat.  Exactly what he did last fall in the playoffs, when he wasn't striking out.

Last night, he nearly did it again, only there was no rally imminent.  His defense has been mediocre, and his presence in the line-up has changed the chemistry for the worse.

2.  While happy to see Romine get some major league work, there is the one, over-riding problem;  he can't hit.

 By and large, his swings are laughable.  And his batting eye is not that of Swisher or Overbay, it is closer to that of Ryne Duren.  Most times, he just stands there and takes three strikes

3.  Great foresight on the Yankees part bringing up another no name pitcher to give us 108 pitches in relief of Phil Hughes.  Unfortunately, it took our recently acquired shortstop to get the last batter out.

And let's give thanks to that Seattle batter who, by the way,  took a nothing swing to end the embarrassment.  He accepted our white flag at his own expense.  Classy.

4.  I repeat: this Yankee team will deteriorate in direct proportion to the return and playing time of the
injured " superstars" now on the DL.  Derek being the only exception.  Because he is still a star, and the others are not.

5.  Critical game tonight.  Or today.  When do they play?

Last night, was it Phil Hughes, or did the Yankees simply run out of luck?

OK, let's go to the videotape - last night, top of the first: The lead-off batter flies to left. No problemo. Next guy, Dustin Ackley walks on seven pitches. Ouch. Next guy singles to center on a 2-2 count, but Brett Gardner's throw beats Ackley running to third - he's out, except the ball glances off his hip and bounces away. If that throw arrives, two outs, one on.


Next, Kendry Morales hits a fading liner to left. It's catchable, but Granderson slips out of his stance. The ball bounces in front of him. If not for the glitch, Seattle goes out: no runs, one hit, one left.

Well, no point agonizing over what if's. Last night's reality tape shows Phil Hughes disintegrating into another trash heap of uncertainties - short and long term - and it's a bad sitcom we've watched now for four years, and it's grown more stale than the closing season of The Office.

Still, I respectfully submit that over the last two weeks, the Yankees have not only been scrappy, but they've been lucky. Yes, I'm invoking the juju gods of baseball happenstance. Several hard line drives in critical situations have been hit directly at Yankee infielders - one for a DP. Our pitchers escaped jams, not because they beat the batter - they/we were simply lucky. Maybe that's juju. Maybe it's random events. Yes, good teams make their luck. But it was Yogi who said he'd rather be lucky than good, and no truer words were ever spoke in the game of baseball.

Last night, our luck ran out. The laws of chance caught up with us - so destructively that we may never again trust Phil Hughes. I mean, you can get used to pushing your nose onto the red button and getting a tasty food pellet, but how many times can you receive the electric shock before you decide it's not worth nosing the button anymore?

One other thing about juju, dammit: Even Eric Holder by now should recognize that Raul Ibanez in Yankee Stadium conjures up some incredibly terrifying juju. The guy must be killing small animals in the locker room before each game. Or maybe he's wearing one of Babe Ruth's teeth around his neck. I dunno. But last October, during the Yankee collapse, the Tigers pitched around Raul, walking him so he couldn't hurt them.

If Joe Girardi doesn't do the same tonight, we ought to be asking why?

Proof that God has a kinky, David Lynchian sense of humor: David Adams will start his Yankee career in a game against the Seattle Mariners

This is perfect. Tonight, when David Adams celebrates his 26th birthday and launches his Yankee career - which may not extend beyond August - he gets a chance to exact revenge on his former organization, the team that scorned him, the miserly Seattle Mariners.

For those of you scoring at home, Adams was the Yankee second base farmhand whose broken ankle in 2010 prompted Seattle to scuttle an announced deal that would have sent Cliff Lee to NYC. (Originally, it was thought that Adams' ankle was merely sprained; when it found to be broken, and he would miss 12-to 18 months, Seattle pulled out. By the way, the 12-to-18 months rehab time is something for fans and physicians of Derek Jeter to ponder.)

The deal would have sent Adams, Jesus Montero and Zach McAllister to the Mariners. Instead, Lee went to Texas (for the appropriately named Justin Smoak) and beat us that year in the playoffs. Who knows how the post-season would have gone, had Lee been pitching for us, instead of them?

In some alternative universe, the ankle stayed healthy, the deal went down, and we might be working for our 30th ring. But in that multi-verse, tonight, David Adams is playing for them, instead of us.

For a guy with no fossil record in the majors, Adams has already had a controversial Yankee career. He was the prospect Cashman excised from the 40 man roster when Vernon Wells came to the team - prompting an eruption of outrage from the anal-intensive Yankiverse (of which this blog is as bad as anybody). Somehow - and I gotta believe the Steinboys doled out serious shekels - we resigned Adams to a minor league deal. (I suspect it had a May 15 out clause.) I really thought we had lost him, and it was infuriating.

So tonight, with a lifetime of water under the bridge, David Adams starts his Yankee career.

Of course, he's c-blocked for life at 2B by Robbie. And soon, Youkilis returns, and then A-Rod. Assuming that both can bend down and play defense - (I'm assuming nothing from now on), there would be few future infield slots open for Adams. So maybe around August 15, God will pull the final trigger on David Adams:

Maybe he'll be waived and sign with, of course, Seattle. Why not? He's already in their heads, like the final episode of Twin Peaks. It would be so... Lynchian... would it not?

Icebags, dead ahead: The looming Yankee logjam could bring an end to the Hunger Games

Soon, Mark Teixeira and Kevin Youkilis will return from their Jacuzzis and reclaim their Yankee lockers, perhaps bringing to a close the most satisfying month since October 2009.

Don't gemmie wrong. To beat the Rangers, Angels and Tigers, we need both guys. Trouble is, without a tweaked gonad, their return will end Lyle Overbay's time as a Yankee. After the last six weeks, he's not fracking off to Scranton. He'll be playing against us, and it's hard to imagine how that's going to feel.

Last night, in a typical Overbay over-play, his sac fly scored our winning won. He has delivered huge hits for us and saved his best for the clutch - hardly a hallmark of the 2011 and 2012 Yankee millionaire rows. This season, we've seen Chris Stewart lay down perfect bunts, Travis Hafner hit to left to beat the overshift, and Overbay, time and again, shorten his swing to make contact in situations where a strikeout would be fatal - like the Ks that killed us in October.

Selflessness is a mark of hungry players.

Last year, the Yankees bludgeoned opponents with home runs. Nobody bothered to move runners; they just tried to hit another HR. It was almost a virus, a individualistic philosophy that infected the clubhouse and eventually spawned the hideous Met-like collapse in the playoffs. 

Last night, Grandy returned. Hate to admit it, but I'm glad he didn't smack a HR. I'm hoping he doesn't hit one all month. A batting average closer to .300 than .200 would be wonderful. Soon, Tex and Youk come back, and eventually - yes, even Arod and Jete. Once again, we'll field the $200 million lineup. But money cannot buy hunger.

Let's hope these stars - while swinging bats in the swimming pools - glimpsed the dreary afterlife that awaits them outside baseball - without the adulation and, especially, the attention. Let's hope it makes them hungry. If it doesn't, well, we just saw the most fulfilling baseball of 2013.

And it will be hard rooting against the Overbays when they come to town in different hats.

Call the History Channel: The Yankees activate Granderson and - it's as if something has torn in the cosmic grid - Travis Hafner goes down

This is scary. Today, the Yankees activated Curtis Granderson from the DL, after announcing that Travis Hafner will miss a few days, because his shoulder is barking, and he's having an MRI.

Listen: When Travis Hafner goes or an MRI, you better get his mailing address, because the money question is whether it's weeks or months. That shoulder is going to look like a Doppler radar shot of Topeka during a tornado.

But am I right in wondering how this is so perfectly engineered? It's like a spooky math equation on Bill Nye the Science Guy: Grandy comes back just as the Hafner goes down? Granderson's return meant somebody had to take the Scranton bullet - unless... OMG! Bam... down goes Hafner?

I'm sorry. This is scary. Before, the injuries were just weird. Now, I'm not buying the corporate line that it's random math. Either the universe is messing with us, or something else is up. Yeahp, I'm asking the question here:

Is somebody is pruning the Yankee olive tree? Is one of our players a Dexter, an "angel of mercy?" Does he go around secretly causing injuries, for the equilibrium of the team?

Right now, the Yankees are an injury library. We check out a player, hurt him, then take him back in two weeks and check out a new one. Does anybody out there not believe that on the night before Teixeira returns, Lyle Overbay won't need an appendectomy? And when Michael Pineda comes back - yeah, I know, the asteroid will hit first - he'll probably wipe out half our staff. We should wrap Andy Pettitte in bubble tape.

This is freaky. I half expect to see Rod Serling pop up in the Yankee dugout: "Curtis Granderson has returned, in perfect health, but in the next few hours, the strange area known as the Yankiverse - is about to learn that when someone checks in, a price must be tendered... and in the shadowy chalk lines between fair and foul... for Curtis Granderson to play, someone else must drop... Submitted for your approval, a hit and run strategy in our next stop -- not Cleveland - but the Twilight Zone."

As The Draft Approaches, Let's look In on Some of our Loot.

Top Prospect Gary Sanchez continues to build his skills.  Last week, he hit another HR and picked up 5 RBIs in six games.  He is hitting .268 but has 27 RBIs.  In A ball.

Zolio Almonte - a bit of a slide last week for this 23 year old outfielder.  Average dropped to .272.  He has yet to put back to back good weeks.  Inconsistent.

Dante Bichette- a top draft pick for us.  Each week his numbers get worse and worse.  37K's leads the league in ineptitude.  Only to be offset by his .173 batting average and .231 OBP.  Time to trade this guy in for a resin bag.  Nice work Cashman.

Mark Montgomery _ this RHP continues to dominate AAA competition, and continues to be overlooked when they bring guys up.  Not sure why.

Angelo Gumball ( Gumbs )- this second baseman was hitting .088 when he went on the DL.  Where he remains.  Imagine that he is a top ten prospect for us.  Are we nuts?

Ty Hensley - Looks like this number one selection won't be back in 2013.  Only surgeries for labrum damage and a bad hip.  Otherwise, a top prospect for Staten Island in 2016.

Manny Banuelos - He is a surgical marvel  Always in the OR and never heals.  Perfect.  See this guy pitch when he is 35.

Dellin Bettances ( not actually a prospect;  he is included because Banuelos is always on the DL) - your all going to say that his move to the bullpen will rejuvenate him.  He remains a giraffe.  And, because he is linked to the "Killer B's" he is, by definition, a failure.

Slade Heathcott - great name, but excels at the strikeout.. eight times in four games this week.  Sounds like the Curtis Granderson of AA ball.  Here's what the professionals say about him:  " Any improvement for Heathcott is a step forward."  Wow.  Is that what they said about Mantle?

Tyler Austin - another week where this, " Mr. Average ( as in .250 singles hitter )," didn't do great but he didn't do awful.  But the 39 strikeouts are not an asset.  This young man may grow old in Trenton.

Mason Williams - my favorite flop.  Our top outfield prospect, playing in A ball is steadily batting himself toward the Mendoza line.  I think he is destined to be a bartender.  If he is our top prospect, the franchise is doomed.

In Summary:

Basically, we have a pitcher and a catcher for our money...er, the Steinbrenner's money.  After the draft, expect the following for our three first round selections:

two surgeries
one disappearance ( has anyone ever heard from Cito?)

Today, the Grandy Man lands. Which will it be? The one who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh, soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie? Or the one who strikes out twice a game?

Today, something will happen I never again expected to see:

Curtis Granderson will rejoin the Yankees. 

I thought we'd trade him. Frankly, I hoped we would. Not that he's a villain. Grandy remains a solid world citizen - a good-deed-doer and role model to all. He plays fine defense and hits many HRs. It's just my lingering memory -- Curtis, trudging to the dugout, bat in hands, puckering his mouth, staring at the grass, glancing back once, pulling off the helmet, plopping onto the bench - another hapless moment as the season crashes around our ribs.

Last October, the whole team collapsed. But for me, the Grandy Man stung the worst. His mere presence against Detroit reminded us of what may become Brian Cashman's worst career trade - Ian Kennedy to Arizona, and Austin Jackson & Phil Coke to Detroit - three solid players, while the Grandyman marches to the dugout, fuming and clueless.

Last season, the Grandy Man struck out 195 times. He stole 10 bases, his lowest total since 2005. He batted .232. The only thing he did was hit HRs - 43. 

In the playoffs against Detroit, he went 0-11 with seven strikeouts - this after a 3 for 19 against Baltimore. Joe benched him for Brett Gardner, who had barely swung a bat all season. The worst part seemed the way Grandy accepted his demise: He'd march to the plate, take three drunken hacks, then march back. 

This season, the Yankees have been a different team with runners on base. The castoffs bunt and move runners - doing what the stars refused to do. Baseball Reference has a clutch-hitting stat called "Late & Close:" In it, Granderson last year hit .146.

The '13 Yankees are a team of second chances. Make no mistake: The real reclamation projects are yet to come. Today, Granderson gets his second chance. He either reclaims his status as a five-tool player - or I hope we Frisbee his homer-happy butt to another team before anybody can say "Brennan Boesch." We need 195 strikeouts like we need another Raul Mondesi . We don't need them in October, and we don't need them in May. If Grandyman starts over-swinging - if after 100 ABs, his average sinks into Andruw Jones territory - I hope Cashman peddles him for a box of Kleenex and gets on the Red Phone to Scranton. The kids and scrap-heapers will give us a better shot at a World Series than all the millionaires of Tampa. 

But it's up to Grandy. Which one returns? Today, we start to learn.

Yankee History In Game One Today?

With Pukilis on the 60 -180 day DL, I have been able to watch Yankee games again.

Today, game one in Cleveland, I saw what might be the worst line-up ever slated by the Yankees.  This is the history making component of the story.

It was clear from the outset, that no one was going to get more than an occasional bunt single.  And we didn't.

Cano is tired.  He swung at the first pitch every time up.  He may have hit one of our single, but he put no pressure on the pitcher. Robbie is a great player, we know, and did not deserve to be out there with clown college.

Gardy and Ichiro also played because they had to.  Both need a break and it showed.  Gardy's did get a bunt single to go with three horrible at bats.  I think Ichiro hit 4 comebackers, and his average dropped about 30 points from his hot streak in KC.

It is really frustrating when you have to watch a team that is helpless.  And poor Phellps;  one mistake and he loses a well pitched game.

But the Yankees never had a chance in this game.  Not at all.  THey would have lost to a beer league team today.

I am pretty sure we lose two today.  This is tragic because we were killing the indians when we got rained out, and are now playing like zombies in these two make-up games.

Tonight, the team turns around for the west coast ( 3 at Seattle ) and then jets back to Toronto for three more.  Yikes.

If dick-head Granderson would at least come up to spell Wells, Ichiro and Gardy, a day each per week, I'd feel better about our chances.

But I think we could be about to swoon.  Big time.  Like lose 6 of 7, including a negative sweep today.

This really sucks.

It's not so bad if I have Yankee buddies to drink with.  Today, however, I am going solo.  Where are you guys?

It's Yankee Rookie Starter Day in America, the rare day when the Yankees start a pitcher up from the farm - just to see what will happen

The international man of mystery, Vidal Nuno, takes the mound today in the doubleheader against Cleveland.

Nuno pitched two weeks ago in relief, hurling two shutout innings, although some balls were hit so hard they bounced off the walls, and the outfielders threw out runners trying to take extra bases. Haven't seen him since. But his cholesterol count looked great in Scranton, and the guy throws strikes - at least he did before sitting in the toaster oven for two weeks.

Once every season, the Yankees start a rookie pitcher from their farm system, just to see what will happen. It's like kids dropping firecrackers into manholes. It'll probably wind up with somebody in trouble, but, hey - it's fun.

Last year, it was Adam Warren. He lasted two innings. In 2011, Hector Noesi won the honor. The list of sacrificial lambs - I mean, Yankee luminaries - includes Willie Banks, Sam Militello, Clay Christienson, Jim Deshaies, Alfredo Aceves, Kei Igawa, Sean Henn, Jeff Karstens, Alex Graman, Jorge De Paula, and Brandon Claussen. It extends back to Gil Blanco in 1965. And don't get me wrong: You don't develop pitchers unless you give the ball to a rookie now and then. That list also includes Andy Pettitte, Chien-Ming Wang, Ian Kennedy and Phil Hughes.

Still, it is a special day - a rare moment in the Yankiverse - when a Yankee rookie pitcher starts. It's like that scene in the Lion King when Simba is hoisted above his father's arms, for the animal kingdom to cheer.

Let us celebrate Vidal Nuno Day in the Yankiverse. Who knows what will happen? And hakuna mutata, everybody!

Are the Yankees covering up a generational blood feud between Joba and Mo?

Did Mo substitute the bug-repellent with sugar spray?

 

Who's sick idea was this? Mo's?

Did Mo trick Joba into performing surgery on Mickey Mantle's brain?

 

While Joba was sleeping, who administered

the hair-growth stimulant  to Joba's upper lip?

 

Who is about to shoot Joba? Mo?

Should we believe their smiles?

 

Before A-Bombs, Text messages and Georgie Juice... Johnny & Clyde

 

Hear them (1988-89).

 

(Thanks, Leinstery)

Resolved, unanimously: Vernon Wells is the New York Yankees' starting left fielder

Republican or Democrat, Vegan or Carnivore, Peanut Butter or Jelly - whatever your inclination - tonight, let us unite as obnoxious Yankee fans in one mighty chorus: Altogether, everybody:

"VERNON WELLS IS OUR LEFT-FIELDER, AND HE IS BATTING THIRD."

Note: This will not change when a certain Man of Grandeur emerges from the fracking ponds of Pennsylvania.  This will not change when the Rod of A-Hip slithers up from Florida, or when Tex or the Captain, or even Tennille arrives. This will only change when Vernon Wells decides he isn't the Yankee left-fielder, batting third.

I was wrong on Vernon Wells. We all were. Could he be the player version of Joe Torre - the guy who looked tanked until he reached the Yankees? Two months ago, Wells was run out of LA with the Angels paying half his tab, headed to a Yankee fan-base that viewed his presence as the ultimate sign of the Yankees impending apocalypse.

Well, he's hit, fielded and stolen bases - been every bit the player he was once projected to be. Last year, Wells hit 11 home runs. Today, he hit No. 9. He could hit 40 this season, passing 300 on his career. If he can be a Bill Robinson - that is, put together four late solid seasons - (he's 34) - Wells could finish with 450 HR and go into Cooperstown. Players with less original talent have done it.

Of course, that's crap conjecture. This is real: Neither Grandy, Gardner nor Ichiro is going to send the RH-hitting Wells to our bench. He is batting third. For my money, that shouldn't change when Tex or Arod come back - because he's been doing it in the clutch. 

It's early. Yankee fans still have a psychosomatic Andruw Jones impulse: They saw a player show signs of re-emerging - and then start swinging for the fences in every at bat, until there was nothing left but a strikeout machine. (It might have happened to Grandy, too.) It could happen to Wells. It's up to him. But damn - he could be Cashman's greatest career acquisition. Vernon Wells! Yankee cap in Cooperstown? I like it!

Ponder This Ye Arm Chair Managers

1.  Did Joba just punch his ticket out of here?

2.  Grandy should simply spell Wells, Gardy, and Ichiro against right handed pitching.  He can give each of them a day off, every 4 days.  Grandy should only pinch run when lefties are in the game against us.

3.  Tex should have to earn his way back to the line-up, also. Overbay is hitting far better than Tex ever does ( e.g. Overbay comes through in the clutch instead of grounding into a double play ), and isn't far behind Tex defensively.

4.  The chemistry of this team should not be messed with;  not until, and unless, they begin losing with regularity.

5.  I still warn that Nunez will be back too early.  Be really careful here.

6.  We need something creative today to insure a sweep.  Romine maybe?

A Focus On Real Issues

I missed much of last night's game ( live ) because I was visiting with Carmit Zori, the violinist who came to the US at the age of 15 at the recommendation of Isaac Stern and Alexander Schneider.

She had just finished an amazing Allegro by Piazzolla when I moseyed up to tell her what I thought of her performance.

Turns out, she is a long-time Yankee fan ( she looks about 32 but, has a daughter in college, so....), and had already heard about the dust-up between Mariano and Joba.  More importantly, she wanted to talk about the upcoimg draft.

In her view, the Yankees should trade their three first round picks to earn the rights to draft Yaz's grandson ( and namesake ), Mike.  We are not certain he'll ever be any good, but the Yankees need him to rekindle the rivalry, and to maintain a certain " mystique of hate and envy " over the Red Socks.

We have to keep him away from Boston, even if that's all his acquisition ultimately means to the Yankees.  "It's not as if the Yankees will draft anyone any good, anyway, " she opined.  "So let's do the Ju-Ju thing!"  

I almost fell off my chair when she came out with that line.

I was just about to ask her whether she had read Duque's book on the subject, when some dude in bow tie and tails whisked her into a limo.

I do agree with her about the Yaz thing.

The strawberries at the reception were extraordinary.  I think Mattingly sent them from LA.

"Don't shush me?" Should we be worrying about a dust-up between Joba and Mo?

Yesterday, in the middle of two ongoing dugout media events, Mariano Rivera told Joba Chamberlain to shush, prompting Joba to snap, "Don't shush me."

Today, the spiritual harmony of the Yankiverse remains under a House Shush Alert.  

Before continuing this critical discourse, let me confess a personal bias:

If Mariano shushed me, I would shush. A full shush, not a partial. (Note to commenters who will shush me while claiming to be Mariano:  Save your ether. I'm on to your tricks.) 
Frankly, I believe most Yankee fans would shush. As would Barack Obama. That's why he won re-election: Even critics concluded, "He's the type who would shush if Mariano shushed him, and that's wisdom we need in the White House." Double frankly, the trouble with this world is that Mariano doesn't shush enough people. There are gasbags on talk shows I would shush - with my knuckles - but why bother? They wouldn't shush for me. If Mariano shushed them, maybe they'd shush. It's worth a try.

Secondarily, if Joba gave me his icy Oklahoma stare and, "Don't shush me," I wouldn't shush him. He's gone through so much, I couldn't bring myself to shush the guy. I just don't have it in me. So what would I do if caught between the two?And should we all be worrying about the shushing situation?

Probably not. We're in first. We've seen worse dust-ups on better teams. Remember Reggie and Munson? Remember Reggie and Billy? Remember Reggie and - oh well - this is a momentary dust-up, right?

Or where there's shush, is there fire?

Is it possible that Mariano, for all his greatness, is a overbearing silencer of public discourse? On the team bus, does Mariano march down the aisle with a finger to his lips, shushing everybody, simply because he's Mariano. If so, he's missed his true calling in life. He should be a librarian. And if so, why haven't the writers written about it in he past? Did he shush them? What else have they shushed up about? Does Jeter go around giving wedgies? 

Or is the problem Joba? Is he one of those yolta-doltas who talks all the time? Oh, he watched Iron Man 3 last night and it was neat, and he went with his friends, Cooter and Rascal, and oh, you know Cooter and Rascal, because they had to buy the extra buttered popcorn, and minga, you play cards with them after the show, the cards get greasy, because they never even wash, and holy crap, did he mention Gwnetth Paltrow's abs, because she must work out six hours a day and- SHUSH THE EFF UP, JOBA, WILL YA? FOR ONCE, BECAUSE SOMEBODY ELSE IS TALKING?

I don't know where I stand on this. They say the two will straighten it out.

Something always happens in Kansas City.