Brian Cashman... weeding out pesky World Series heroes.
Kei Igawa... forgotten, but not gone.
Kevin Towers... assist G.M. competing for Cash's favor.
Despite a heroic, last-ditch attempt by alcoholics to save the day, Oneonta -- a former collective-farm jewel within the Yankee northern tundra -- is losing its team after 44 years.
The news comes two seasons after MLB pulled out of the annual Hall of Fame Game in nearby Cooperstown. The NYP League should stand for New York Past.
This from the Mayor of Oneonta:
"It does seem strange to me that the league, which has had a successful franchise (in Oneonta) for 44 years, would be proactive about moving that franchise over a four- to five-month period without being even slightly sensitive to the concerns of a community that has supported them for so long. When I walk away from this thing, that's the bitter taste in my mouth... Don't we count for something?"
But wait... here's the cruelest part of the deal:
The announcement came two days after the New York State Liquor Authority
conditionally approved a ballpark beer license filed by Oneonta Concessions, LLC that would allow the O-Tigers to sell alcohol at Damaschke Field this summer for the first time since its affiliation with the NY-Penn began in 1966.
The beer arrived too late.
A Yankee fan who obviously has been reading El Duque's rhetoric about the team's off-season moves has put his head in the proverbial bucket of ice water and declined to renew his season tickets for 2010.
Here's the story from Deadspin.
News from around the Yankees' home borough...
This weekend the NYPD had one of its gun buyback programs in The Bronx, in which they gave $200 cash cards to anyone turning in a firearm, no questions asked. In 2008 Brooklyn took in nearly 700 guns in one day and that was considered a big success. This weekend's Bronx event, held at four local churches, took in 1,186 firearms -- a new city record.• Bronx youth takin' it to the 'burbs:
MONTROSE - A Bronx man and woman were arrested with $10,000 in heroin Tuesday night and accused of drug dealing around Coachlight Square, Westchester County police said.• The Archbishop of Canterbury is all like, I gotta see this Bronx shit with my own eyes:
People lined up along the fence outside St. Ann's Episcopal Church in the Mott Haven section of the South Bronx Jan. 27 waiting for their turn to get inside -- not to get a glimpse of Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, who was incidentally visiting, but to shop the parish's weekly Wednesday morning food pantry.UPDATE: Check the comments for a link to an important developing story about skunks!
Williams arrived and left with little fanfare. More food pantry clients lined up along the fence outside, paying little notice.
1. reduced the unemployment rate
2. he won’t hit his 2 homeruns for the Red Sox
3. better arm than Damon, better knees than Matsui
4. higher OBP than Adrian Beltre
5. steals more bases than Melky
6. cooler name than Eric Hinske
7. hit as many homers in majors last year as Greg Golson hit in the minors
8. younger than Jimmy Wynn; less dead than Early Wynn
9. higher batting average and fewer strikeouts than Mike Cameron
10. whatever his VORP is, they’ll probably get even better when they replace him
Take that, Boston:
ss Derek Jeter
cf Bernie Williams
rf Paul O'Neill
3b Alex Rodriguez
1b Tino Martinez
lf Hideki Matsui
dh Jason Giambi*
c Jorge Posada
2b Robbie Cano
*Can't have Hideki bat twice
(OK: Here's my take on Boston's team:)
2b Dustin Pedroia
cf Johnny Damon
lf Manny Ramirez
dh David Ortiz
lb Kevin Youkilis
rf J.D. Drew
3b Mike Lowell
ss Nomar Garciaparra
c Jason Varitek
The driver of a tractor-trailer was watching a pornographic movie and had been on the road too long when he smashed into a disabled car last month on the Thruway, killing the driver, state police said Wednesday.
Just when you thought it was safe to leave the rest stop.
I still want to just stick my head in a bucket of icewater.
I truly thought we were posturing, that we would never let Johnny Damon go for a few measily million dollars.
This is a dark day for Yankee fans. I don't mean to whine about Randy Winn. It's not his fault. I don't mean to complain about Cashman. He had a budget. And it's not my money. It's the Steinbrenners' money, inherited legally, though it all comes from us at some point, doesn't it?
Well, this is the day we bury the Yankee once known as Johnny Damon. Some commenters get pissed when we question Yankee moves. Fine. But I cannot see how any fan who ever appreciated Damon's play and persona can celebrate the end.
I hope they're careful about who wears No. 18 next year.
If this plays out the way most of them do (Tino, Nellie, Stanton, Javy, Nick Johnson...) Johnny will come back someday. They all get a curtain call, don't they?
These are the numbers that have effectively ended the Johnny Damon era in New York, and bring to close the progression of increasingly testy exchanges between Brian Cashman and the Yankiverse.
Randy Winn is our new leftfielder.
He was an all-star in 2002.
Last year, he was paid $9.6 million.
I guess you could say, for $2 million, we're getting him cheap.
He is a switch hitter. Last year, he batted .158 from the right side.
Excuse me now. I'm going to go soak my head in a bucket of icewater.
Why in the world are we signing throw-away players who all have the
The Yankiverse has spoken and Brian Cashman listened.
IIH readers having soundly rejected Johnny Damon as a Yankee Outfielder of the Decade, Cashman has signed former Giants outfielder Randy Winn to a one-year contract for approximately $2 million.
We should build a pyramid for Aaron Boone.
SAYS NATION CANNOT AFFORD GOLD-PLATED HEALTH CARE PLAN AND WILL SIGN REED JOHNSON INSTEAD
Other elements of the President's State of the Union message, leaked to IT IS HIGH, include:
1. Vow to shore up left-leaning offense by signing more hitters who veer to the right.
2. Claim that Yankee fans will embrace stances of Javier Vazquez, even though they denounced him in 2008.
3. Argue that war against Boston will end in July 2011, though field general Girardi says this is impossible.
4. Denounce growing movement of radical fans who place all faith in Jesus Montero.
5. Announce plans to retire Jeter and Mariano in 2012.
6. Introduce new Arod girlfriend, sitting beside Michelle in gallery.
7. Discuss recent Supreme Court decision to allow corporate luxury boxes on playing field.
8. Announce Kei Igawa relief mission to Haiti.
9. Unveil new administration spokesman, John Sterling.
10. Admit recent mistakes, such as nation's failure to sign John Lackey.
On August 7, Boston was in town for the second of a four-game series. We were in first, but they had owned us throughout the first half of the season. They were smirking like the bastards that they are. They had Josh Beckett pitching, and we were sending out AJ Burnett, who had been sort of a disappointment, even though nobody wanted to say it out loud.
Beckett went 7 innings and gave up only four hits. Burnett outpitched him. He went 7.2 and gave up one hit.
Next came Phil Hughes, then Mariano, then Aceves for three innings, Bruney for two, and finally Phil Coke. By then, the Redsocks were pitching somebody named Tazawa.
In the 15th inning, Derek Jeter led off with a single. Damon and Teixeira went down. Then Arod came up. He hit one into the bleachers in left-center.
And then John Sterling unleashed the only recorded WinWarble in history running over 8.00 seconds. His 8.02 second effort -- without any verbal enhancements -- remains the greatest warble in history. See it. Touch it. Hear it.
We traded minor league infielder Mitch "Dimaggio" Hilligoss for minor league outfielder Greg Golson.
Scranton might be looking at an undefeated season.
Larry came over.
(Continuing our month-long charity drive to introduce millions of readers to obscure Yankee bloggers, we bring you a fave who's been writing on the edge for some time: Evil Gary Coleman. Evil Gary filed this last night from jail, where he faces domestic abuse charges. His Blackberry ran out of batteries, so he scribbled on the wall in cafeteria spaghetti sauce. But he's still got his mojo.)
Theo Epstein, I will kneecap you. You hear me muffukk? Ping. That's what it'll sound like. Ping. Next thing, you'll be short, too. I'll hide in the laundry hamper. I can go anywhere. I can get Papelbon. I can get Papi. If I jump, I can hit Mike Lowell's hip. I'm not afraid. You're gonna be short. FUCK THE PIGS! That's all I'm saying.
At risk for carpal tunnel syndrome?
Ease your troubled mind and body about the pending Yankees 2010 outfielding crisis by casting your vote for the IIH Yankee Outfielders and DH of the Decade (2000 thru 2009).
An outpouring of support could be just the thing Brian Cashman needs to convince him to sign that special someone for another season, assuming that someone is not already engaged in another career or under contract to another team.
The top three vote-getters in the outfield category will be named Yankee Outfielders of the Decade, so be sure to vote for three or more candidates.
In these Times:
Grant Desme hit 31 home runs and stole 40 bases in Class A last season, and as an encore, he was named most valuable player of the Arizona Fall League. The Oakland Athletics had plans to invite Desme, a 23-year-old outfielder, to spring training next month. But Desme retired Friday to become a Roman Catholic priest.
Let's keep this guy far away from Jesus Montero.