Sunday, May 31, 2009
The Sterl Hurl WinWarble Index fell 130 points Sunday, as John turned in a meager 4.66 second Yankee Yodel.
But the big pain comes today: No Tarzanic Triumph Treatment at all... following the walk-off loss to Cleveland.
John was deeply hurt by Phil Coke's ninth inning lead-off walk. You heard it in his voice. In the post-game show, he could barely recap it.
This is not good. Have we tempted fate by naming John the May Employee of the Month?
Remember: April may... but June julies.
Tip the hat to somebody in the Yank brain center: They are on their toes.
Considering the Yankee needs, our Triple A coal mine has suspended its conventional rotation of starters.
Last night, the Scranton-WB (When I see WB, I can't help but thinking a singing frog) started Romulo Sanchez 2 innings, then Zack Kroenke for 1.2, Jose Valdez for 2, then Anthony Claggett for 3.
They did the same in Syracuse. In one game they started reliever JB Cox. Another, they pulled Casey Fossum in the fourth.
The plan is clear: They are looking for bullpen fodder. After Kontos and maybe Josh Towers -- and of course, the incredible "Mr. Scranton," Kei Igawa, who threw a solid 7 the other day -- they are using Triple A to harvest organs, rather than grow entire children.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Forget Employee of the Month. Can someone please explain something important: why Daniel Brewer, our low Single A star, is a fullltime DH?
(I didn't electioneer for a certain person to win Yankee Employee of the Month. I don't work that way. And I don't appeciate it when certain individuals pursue their own certain agenda in influencing certain public opinion polls. It cheapens the message. It lessens us. I'm not attacking. I'm stating fact. OK. Let's move on. Let's pretend it didn't happen. Next issue: Let's consider something important.)
Daniel E. Brewer: Our big man in Charleston. He's 22.
He's leading the South Atlantic League in hitting.
As a DH.
OK, now... I am a fool. I am a simple man. Me know nothing.
There are respectable Yank sites out there, tactical field generals of the game, doctoral scientists in Yankeeology, Steve Trout-Hawkings mathematicians who know all and understand these matters. So please, please, splain to me why we have a 21-year-old prospect -- 8th round pick last year out of college -- DHing at Charleston.
Is he hurt? Are we overpopulated at his position? (Because we don't list another position for him!) Are we drafting players who cannot field at age 20?
Because it seems to me the Yanks are the one team that's always going to have 40-year-old guys ready to do nothing but DH.
So now we're drafting them?
Nahhhhh. Can't be. Has to be a good reason. Please. Somebody splain to me. Class? Somebody?
I told you. You never, ever count a Yankee out, especially if his name is John Sterling. Now I know it's still too early to pop the champagne, as they say, Suzyn, but if John holds on to this lead right down to the wire, we'll have witnessed one of the most amazing, unforgettable, stupendous comebacks in all of Yankee history. Unbelievable.
But not by much. And of course, like the Yankees, you can never count him out til that final out is recorded. What was that Yogi used to say, Suzyn? It's never over til it's finally over? Something like that? Anyway. I think you get what I'm trying to say. I wouldn't bet against John at this point, like I ever would, but if I did, I wouldn't at this point. Not this early. It's too early.
I Am Not Telling You To Click The Button For John Sterling. I Would Never Try To Influence Your Vote. This Has Nothing To Do With Polls.
I just want a couple of things understood.
I want it understood that, in May 2009, one man took more heat for this organization than anyone has had to since the glory days of George Steinbrenner.
I want it understood that John Sterling, in fact, provided the political cover necessary for the Yankees' rise from a barely .500 team to sole possessors of first place in the American League East.
I just want it understood. That's all.
Sites across the Yankisphere Saturday struggled to cope with the impending loss of David Ortiz as a 24/7 hot-button punch line for inflicting pain upon the troubled Redsock Nation. "Pappy won't be around much longer," said an emotionally choked Alphonso. "We must treasure him... while we have him."
Alphonso and other IT IS HIGH bloggers (pictured right) Friday placed their goodhearted chum's XXXKL jersey in a special lead-lined museum vault beneath the website's headquarters on the shore of Onondaga Lake.
Early, Pappy had gone 0-for-4, leaving four Boston baserunners, and jeeeeust missing several big hits that could have turned the game around. Yet it provided no joy to Yank fans.
"It's not the same," Alphonso said. "There's nothing funny about it. We're watching the downfall of a big man. Big Pappy. How can anyone revel in such pain? What manner of human dog rejoices in the suffering of another fellow traveler? I ask you, how can anyone celebrate this man's collapse and utter demise?"
Hear that, world?
Aint done yet.
There's still some lightning in those lungs.
Some thunder in that voicebox.
Five. Point. Nine. Oh.
Jerry Remy just sank deeper into his coma.
Friday, May 29, 2009
He might as well win it.
Not much worse can happen than this.
CHICAGO, May 15 (Reuters) - Major League Baseball has won a patent for technology that blocked certain fans from viewing local games online, and it may open the door for the U.S. sports league to profit by licensing it to media companies.MORE
Baseball’s advanced media business was awarded a U.S. patent last month for online geolocation technology, a system that uses two or more electronic methods (such as wireless and satellite) to pinpoint the geographic location of a subscriber, the sports league said in a statement late on Thursday.
The sports league filed for the patent, its first, in 2004 as a way of excluding certain fans from watching its games streamed live online.
Vote as if your month depended on it.
Answer: They both made splash landings in the Hudson.
Arod is with Kate "Almost Famous" Hudson, say the gossips.
Prophetic, considering her 2003 movie...
Last night, SuperFrankenstein, Moose and I watched Scranton succumb to Syracuse, 5-4.
We sat in our $200,000 luxury box, located so closely to the Yank pen that we could have taped their private conversations, had we not been snorting coke and banging hookers upright against the foam-padded walls.
Actually, we chose to grant their privacy, aside from occasionally toying with their Liliputian size.
Repeating here: WE DID NOT EAVESDROP.
Hear that, big media? We gave them space. We bequeathed to them the privacy that working Americans deserve.
Even better: Because they could not help but hear our every word, we gave them knowledge.
Several times, we noted the importance of not walking the leadoff batter. As SuperFrankenstein stressed, you know what happens when you walk the goddamm leadoff batter? THE LEADOFF BATTER SCORES! NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM WALKING THE LEADOFF BATTER, NOTHING.
I trust Zach Kroenke was listening.
He merely lowered his head, no doubt keenly tuned
to the timber and flow of our instructions.
Later, SuperFrankenstein and Moose convened a panel discussion on the best pitch that a pitcher can throw. Is is a curve? No. A fastball. No. THE ABSOLUTE BEST PITCH A PITCHER CAN THROW IS GODDAMM STRIKE ONE! We don't need "Ball one" or "Ball two." THROW FIRST-PITCH STRIKES, AND SPARE US THE ART MAJOR CLAPTRAP!
I can only hope Mark Melancon was listening.
Here he is no doubt mulling our words.
At one point, SuperFrankenstein and Moose offered a stinging, icy rebuke to the producers/writers of "Lost," who nearly turned a fine show into a shambling soap opera, ruining the impact of promising early episodes. If the team has not yet watched the show, this should save them money on purchasing the DVD.
I don't know if Shelley Duncan has seen "Lost."
Clearly, he can relate to the forgotten, unlucky
plight of its castaway characters.
We often cited the works of John Sterling, noting that, "No matter how smart you are, no matter what you know, nobody -- I mean nobody! -- can predict what's going to happen in baseball!"
Then, guess what happened? No, don't bother guessing, because nobody can ever guess what's going to happen. Tyler Clippard, the former Yankee Clippard, pitched for Syracuse against the very guy we traded him to get: Jonathan Albaladejo (sp?). Go figure!
Surely, Alba (sp?) was bowing to us,
when we snapped this.
Remind me to learn to spell his name.
Still, it was hard to concentrate
with the big event coming in July.
Last night, we witnessed the Scranton-Wilkes Barre Yankees loss to Syracuse before a crowd of dozens.
We sat within lapdance distance of the Yank bullpen. They were well behaved and acted like fine young men. We didn't heckle or eavesdrop, in part because we don't speak Spanish. (More on our interactions in Part III.)
but I was struck by their tiny size.
He's only batting .118.
Edwar Ramirez gave up 2 runs and 3 hits in an inning and two-thirds.
He won't return to NY until his change-up starts nipping corners.
(I should have told him this while sitting nearby. Language barrier.)
He deserves another shot with the Yanks.
He stood tall against Tampa for the cheap shot on Francisco Cervelli!
But he must stop chewing his fingers.
He spent the game chewing his fingers.
I foolishly let SuperFrankenstein hold the camera.
Now I understand the mirrors on his shoes.
Attended last night's big contest in the Emerald City, (formerly the Salt City), pitting the Syracuse Chiefs, (formerly Skychiefs), against Scranton-Wilkes Barre, (formerly Columbus), in Alliance Bank Stadium, (formerly P&C Stadium.)
Syracuse's legendary Wall of Championships
suggests we are victims of a curse. (Did we ever piss off Stu Pederson?)
He ripped through the first three, then lost it.
He threw 4.1 and relinquished three.
who were really nice guys. Nobody even mentioned my stinky foot.
This serve went to the shortstop.
More shocking photos later.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
... Let us note this fact.
The great Redsock hurler Dice-K -- of the $110 million contract and "National Treasure" status -- has finished the month of May without a win and with an ERA of 8.82.
Igawa -- for $20 million, the 2008 Pitcher of the Year at Scranton -- is currently 4-1 with an ERA of 3.86 for the coaltown team of the International League.
Given the chance, considering the money they're paying... what are the odds that the Redsocks would trade Dice K for Kei?
Yes-yes-yes, I know... he's young, he should play every day, he's not likely to continue hitting as he has...
But I tremble at the notion that we shall soon sentence Francisco Cervelli to Scranton, or Wilkes Barre, or Trenton, or whatever minor league Gitmo where Yankee prospects go to "season." (Hello, Shelley Duncan, with 16 HRs, leading the IL!)
One of Joe Torre's gutsiest moves was to install rookie Derek Jeter as shortstop, even though many scouts said he needed another 400 at bats at Columbus. Buck Showalter never trusted rookies. In recent years, we've fallen into a Showalter mode.
This spring, we broke out. We kept Ramiro Pena, rather than ditch him, so our scouts could think of reasons why he'll never make it. Pena is great. He belongs in the majors.
Jorge Posada and Jose Molina are coming back soon. Everyone hears the drums beating for Cervelli to be sent down.
Yes-yes-yes, he's young, blah-blah-blah... it makes sense in a conventional way of thinking. The Showalter way. Hey, did Buck ever win a ring?
Three catchers, anyone?
"It was Duncan's blast that had the fans, many of them clad in Yankee gear, buzzing.
"The 6-foot-5 Duncan turned on a slider from Syracuse reliever Mike MacDougal and drove the ball over the secondary fence behind the Chiefs' old bullpen in left field."
It closed late last night, despite a surge of profit-taking, at 3.98 -- well below the magic 5.00, which signifies an important Yankee victory.
Yankeeologists are now studying the figures to learn their meaning.
Do they signify trouble ahead?
Is John trying to "cool" the opposition by not rubbing it in?
Is he deliberately issuing low Warblage readings because he fears that long Hurls jinx the team?
We do know this: Top scientists across the world have proven, beyond debate, the existence of Yankee curses. (The Chinese have been especially seminal in establishing a baseline continuum for analysis.) No one has yet defined the exact pattern that creates a Yankee curse. We all try.
Is John weaving a magical thought pattern?
WHAT DO THESE NUMBERS MEAN!!!???
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
After opening MSN, I see a Ken Rosenthal article that is telling everybody who has speculated that David "Big Popout" Ortiz once took steriods to shut up. He also makes a case for people to stop speculating whether a player, active or not, juiced up during their career. I would think that this is a valid point because I wouldn't want people speculating that my favorite Yankees were on steroids, but the Mitchell Report beat Rosenthal's article to the punch.
Now I won't link the article because I don't want to increase its view count, but you can find it on the MSN homepage right now. It's under the sports section with the link reading, and I quote "Think this guy's on 'roids? Prove it" with a picture of the former #3 hitter for the Olde Towne Teame. And so here's the proof:
During his tenure in the Twin Cities (and before he had the batspeed to hit an inside fastball), Ortiz had a 162 game average of:
526 AB, 77 runs, 140 hits, 21 homers (20.65 if you want to get technical), 85 RBI, with a .266 Batting Average,
They're respectable numbers except for the fact that this was before he became a full time DH, and never played 162 games
Now lets look at Ortiz's stats from Boston ('03-'07) when he "magically" found the batspeed to hit that inside fastball. His .302, a 36 point improvement from his days with the Twins. An average 162 game season for Ortiz in Boston is a whopping 46 dingers and 141 ribbies. His slugging percentage (.461 in Minny) is a sky high .612. For comparison, in 2003, a roided-up A-Rod won the MVP with a slugging percentage of .610.
Finally, lets look at the past two years, and boy have they been a steep decline for Shrek. He hit only 25 homers last year, 12 less than his total in 2007, and 21 less than his average. This year he is making his residence south of the river of Mendoza, and if he were to play every game this year, he'd be on pace to hit a whopping 4 home runs.
So Ken Rosenthal, take your "innocent until proven guilty" shtick and shove it where the sun don't shine.
New York _ The Yanks today announced an impending "changing of the injury guard," as Jorge Posada, Jose Molina, Cody Ransom and Xavier Nady pretended to play in a simulated game in the former identical duplicate of Yankee Stadium, Legends Field, which is located in Tampa.
Meanwhile, Brian Bruney, Melky Cabrera and several other players-to-be-injured later prepared to join their comrades on the sit-for-pay list.
The leading candidate for injury, AJ Burnett, pitches tonight.
Feeling queasy, anyone?
Our bullpen is pathetic. And, therefore, our team is pathetic unless we score 11 or more runs early.
We have had about 12 relief pitchers try to bring the game from a starter's work to MO and, with the exception of a few accidents, we consistently fall apart.
We dumped two of the worst ( Edwar, Albaladejo ), but still have mostly garbage available.
Phil Coke has yet to pitch an inning without giving up a home run. He is a joke. A confident, arrogant coke joke.
The only lefty with less ability in the Yankee organization is Damaso Marte, who has never gotten any hitter out for the Yankees. Nice work, again, on the trade front, Cash.
Can't wait until Joe gets to use this fine veteran again. The BA of lefties against Marte as a Yankee is close to .450 , I think.
Last night, the competency cover blew off "Ace" Aceves, as he sent the game out of reach in a flash.
And Veras is far worse than "Ace." Enough said.
Bruney is soon to get his TJ badge at Birmingham Hospital, so we can write him off for the year.
I used to hold out hope for Melancon and Robertson, but they have imploded quickly with every opportunity handed to them.
Sidebar: Is it a positive sign that Robby ( Joe's handle for Dave Robertson ) threw a good inning last night in a blow-out against us? Don't count on it.
And let's re-visit the grand decision to use Joba as a starter. He now looks as if he is in a race with Chin Ming to see who can put the Yankees in a huge hole the earliest.
Does he look confident? Dominating? Impossible to hit? Is he pitching like that dude on the Dodgers who is 7-1 with an ERA under 1.00? Is he looking like a future Ace?
The qualities of greatness which Joba showed in his rookie year only surfaced when Joba was setting up MO.
So why would we want to repeat that success? Rather, let's FHU totally ( U= "up" for those puritans in the audience) by asking him not to do that at which he excells.
In that case, why not play him in centerfield for a while? Or let him DH?
Now, with Bruney out, and no one who can pitch either the 7th or the 8th, let's keep trying more guys from AAA who can't throw strikes. It is the perfect skill set for Yankee relievers. Come in and walk guys.
Like Bimko or Bombko (or whatever his loser name is) who walked a Phillie with two outs and no one on, in his first inning of relief and cost us the game.
Third place awaits.