Sunday, May 31, 2009

Left Behind: Did Big Papi disappear during the rapture?


Boston _ Authorities Saturday were at a loss to explain the sudden disappearance of feared Redsock slugger David Ortiz, other than to say he moved to a new cosmological dimension in what appears to be a form of "rapture-based materiali world transportation." Police investigators (pictured, right) study the uniform of "Papi," which was all that remained after the feared Redsock slugger went 0-4 with two strikeouts. Witnesses say while disrobing in the clubhouse, Ortiz became transparent, weightless and then vanished altogether, after being heard to yell, "Did I get any mail from Presinal?"

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