'Cuse v. 'Barre: Pictorial Expose Part III

Last night, SuperFrankenstein, Moose and I watched Scranton succumb to Syracuse, 5-4.

We sat in our $200,000 luxury box, located so closely to the Yank pen that we could have taped their private conversations, had we not been snorting coke and banging hookers upright against the foam-padded walls.

Actually, we chose to grant their privacy, aside from occasionally toying with their Liliputian size.


Repeating here: WE DID NOT EAVESDROP.

Hear that, big media? We gave them space. We bequeathed to them the privacy that working Americans deserve.

Even better: Because they could not help but hear our every word, we gave them knowledge.

Several times, we noted the importance of not walking the leadoff batter. As SuperFrankenstein stressed, you know what happens when you walk the goddamm leadoff batter? THE LEADOFF BATTER SCORES! NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM WALKING THE LEADOFF BATTER, NOTHING.

I trust Zach Kroenke was listening.
He merely lowered his head, no doubt keenly tuned
to the timber and flow of our instructions.

Later, SuperFrankenstein and Moose convened a panel discussion on the best pitch that a pitcher can throw. Is is a curve? No. A fastball. No. THE ABSOLUTE BEST PITCH A PITCHER CAN THROW IS GODDAMM STRIKE ONE! We don't need "Ball one" or "Ball two." THROW FIRST-PITCH STRIKES, AND SPARE US THE ART MAJOR CLAPTRAP!

I can only hope Mark Melancon was listening.
Here he is no doubt mulling our words.

At one point, SuperFrankenstein and Moose offered a stinging, icy rebuke to the producers/writers of "Lost," who nearly turned a fine show into a shambling soap opera, ruining the impact of promising early episodes. If the team has not yet watched the show, this should save them money on purchasing the DVD.

I don't know if Shelley Duncan has seen "Lost."
Clearly, he can relate to the forgotten, unlucky
plight of its castaway characters.

We often cited the works of John Sterling, noting that, "No matter how smart you are, no matter what you know, nobody -- I mean nobody! -- can predict what's going to happen in baseball!"

Then, guess what happened? No, don't bother guessing, because nobody can ever guess what's going to happen. Tyler Clippard, the former Yankee Clippard, pitched for Syracuse against the very guy we traded him to get: Jonathan Albaladejo (sp?). Go figure!

Surely, Alba (sp?) was bowing to us,
when we snapped this.
Remind me to learn to spell his name.

Still, it was hard to concentrate
with the big event coming in July.