Friday, January 22, 2010

Pinch-hitting Blogger: The Yankee Cougar

Continuing in our month-long elevation of little known Yankee bloggers to the Big Time, here is one of SuperFrankenstein's favorites. Whether she's seducing us with her Yankee acumen or her alluring charms, Emily Claymore -- formerly George Claymore -- is always hot, hot, HOT... for up and coming Yankees! Emily, back from hip replacement, graciously filed this report:

Jesus Montero, meet me the night before Opening Day at the Route 81 Econolodge in Scranton, and I'll do things to your strike zone that a million Curt Schilling fastballs couldn't accomplish! Grrrrrawwwwwwwwm. Yes, I'll miss Melky -- believe me, the Melkman could deliver -- but it's time for the Queen E to set her sites on new Yankee beef, and who better than the Hugo Chavez-lander with the throbbing big bat who is still learning how to play a position. Come early, Jeez, and I'll teach you more positions than Miguel Cairo dreams of! Think of me as your personal exotic Clay Bellanger of utility positons. Who is Clay Bellanger? Hush, child. Just take off your chest protector and strap on your shinguards, because you're going to need them. Oh, and wear your cleets, because you're going to need traction while running the basepaths of your inside-the-park opening day home run! Gr-r--r-rr-r-r-r-r-ahhhhhhwm!

1 comment:

Joe DePastry said...

She must be getting senile.
She's confusing Clay Bellinger with Mark Belanger.