Thursday, October 29, 2009

SHE'S depressed? I gotta get me some of this stuff

This is hitting your target audience! Because this lady is speaking to me.

She's in one hunka-hunka-burnin' depression. She can't get up in the morning. She can't put on her socks. She sits and stares at the TV and watches Phil Hughes piss the game away, and there is only one hope. This broad needs an elixer!


You see, our problem is not Chase Utley. No, it's our lack of brain serotonin and fuckadada, dancing through our frozen synapses, when we realize Freddie Guzman would help our bullpen more than Brian Bruney.

We don't need to beat Pedro tonight. Hell, no. We just need a shitload of this stuff.

Watch out, they say it can result in suicidal tendencies. What? This is living?
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4 comments:

  1. Joe DePastryOctober 29, 2009 at 11:21 AM

    I could have used that stuff in 1957 when I was 10 and Lou Burdette made me cry.
    Is Cliff Lee the next Lou Burdette?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dr. AlphOctober 29, 2009 at 3:57 PM

    Maybe Pristiq can make a second commercial using a Joe Girardi doll. Or Phil Hughes doll? Or Bruney doll? Or Tex doll? Or.......

    But not Derek, Jorge, Mariano or Andy dolls.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousOctober 29, 2009 at 4:26 PM

    This is the "improved" version of Effexor, which I think helped me forget most of the 2004 ALCS.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 30, 2009 at 12:10 AM

    But you can't air a commercial for Dewars ?

    ReplyDelete

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