To the Yankiverse,
The Book of Joe sayeth:
"Blessed are thee whose fingers, toes and coupling instrument be annointed by rings, for yee shalt be the seed-cob of hope."
The time has come for peace.
In the spirit of kindness, charity and grace -- attributes that define Yankee fans everywhere -- we must absolve Pedro Martinez for all past crimes.
Let. Hate. End. Here.
Wednesday night, watching this pitiful old soldier on the mound, proved a sad, bittersweet experience. Pedro had nothing. McCarver called it. Buck noticed it. Everybody could see in his doe eyes the envy, as he gazed upon a Yankiverse he always hoped to someday join.
It has always been obvious, his banter with the writers, his sparring with the fans, his hopes three years ago to sign with the Yankees, who scorned him.
He always wanted to wear Pinstripes, but it could never happen.
So did Dante gaze at Beatrice, unable to summon the words to describe his love. And wasn't Dante the greater for it?
Remember Pedro's cracks about beaning Babe Ruth? His line about calling us his daddy? The fight with Don Zimmer (who, we must always remember, charged him -- not the other way around.) He was the straw trying to stir the drink, the sixth grader putting a frog in the lunch pail of the girl he secretly loved.
The other night, he managed to pitch four innings, and then was gone.
We will never see him again. And we will miss him.
Therefore...
I, el duque, hereby absolve Pedro Martinez for all his past sins! From now on, I will bear him no malice. Let us move a small stone forward, and the world shall be a nicer place. I urge all fellow Yankee fans -- in the grace of our 27th World Championship -- to stand and be counted by signing your name in the comment box below.
No. He's hit way to many of his would be "teammates" for a guy who supposedly wanted to play with them.
ReplyDeleteVote against Pedro.
ReplyDeleteDear Father and Priestly Duque,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kenny.
When the Sunni's forgive the Shiites and vice versa, and they all make friends with the Kurds, count me in.
However, I will grant Pedro a certain charity, given that he group up living on a dirt floor with a tin roof. He has, in a word, "come a long way,baby."
But I'll need more time.
He hit Derek far too gleefully and often in front of those rabid, blood sucking, sub-human purchasers of tickets in Boston.
My offer; when Pedro and Derek hug at Cooperstown, I'll forgive and forget.
Hmm, I will need to mull this one over. But, I will say that I wished it had been Curt Schilling up on that mound in game 6 getting pummeled instead of Pedro.
ReplyDeleteEL "JOHN HANCOCK" DUQUE (Done in caps, so the King doesn't have to put on his spectacles to read it.)
ReplyDeleteI am in.
ReplyDeleteDuque,
ReplyDeleteCount me among the supporters of the Clemancy for Pedro campaign. For too long, our hearts have been hardened. The hatred must stop.
This may inspire a song.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the above post, I cried for an hour. Yes. I will join. Yes, I have lived in the shadows too long. If we cannot forgive our fellow man, who can we forgive? Aliens from outer space? I don't think so. It starts today. A new world. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteI will forgiveth Pedro...
ReplyDeleteBut first, all those he plunketh in Yankee uniform will be given the opportunity of retaliation, measure for measure. Said Pedro will thence step into the batter's box and assume a hitting stance. All those struck by (a) Pedro pitch(es) will hurleth from the pitcher's mound one baseball for each time struck at said Pedro. Upon completion of this task (it will require some time, I would venture), I too will no longer hold him as the devil incarnate.
We must now understand what the difference is between Pedro and a catfish.
One is a scum-sucking, low-life bottom feeder....the other is a fish.
*rim shot*
FanSince'48
The man is and probably always will be a villain in Yankee lore, but I find it impossible not to admire not only his ability (his stats don't really show it but his career wins total would be higher if he played on some better teams than the Expos and the turn-of-the-century, Dan Duquette Red Sox) but his competetive fire. The guy stepped off the mound every start he made knowing that there was nothing left in the tank that day (see Game 7, 2003 ALCS), and for that, I tip my cap to Pedro.
ReplyDeleteEven more fitting is that, looking back on Pedro's career, the only thing I can think of is Rudyard Kipling's poem "If". Its ironic if you know the ending...
Much respect for Pedro.
ReplyDeletePedro threw me to the ground by my head.
ReplyDeletePlunk Pedro!!
ReplyDeletei consider myself to be a gracious human being. however, forgiving pedro is just not a possibility. he's just too....pedro-martinez-esque.
ReplyDeleteI can find forgiveness in my heart for Pedro. Not for Curt Schilling, but for Pedro? Meh.
ReplyDeleteWho died and made you Pope, El Dirtbag?
ReplyDeleteI'll forgive him when Grady Little forgives him.
ReplyDeleteHey that was a different time, and people do change! I say that the Red Sox should have handled it better!Maybe the league should have suspended Pedro then! I don't forgive Shilling and think he is much worse than Pedro.
ReplyDeletePedro is now with the Lord, back then with Satan
ReplyDeleteEat Me Duque
ReplyDeleteWhat have you done with the real Duque?
ReplyDeletePedro lacks experience.
ReplyDeleteI forgive Pedro's dwarf but that's as far as I go.
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteHe started both World Series games at the Stadium... where he wouldn't have to stand at the plate and face the music for his many, many sins.
Most influencial what??
Punk.
From a Yankee fan for 50+ years, no thought needed; even in the depth of the rivalry, I always liked Pedro. He's a throwback to Maglie, to Gibson, to Drysdale. You got in his space, you got drilled. That's the way the game is played...or was, before whiny babies began to charge the mound. He's a classic baseball character, who knew how to push buttons and get the crowd in a frenzy. Oh..and he was, without question, the most dominating pitcher of his era, and there ain't a close second. I'll miss the guy.
ReplyDeleteHis dwarf is dead, She-Fan. Thanks for reminding him. That's all he needed.
ReplyDeleteListen, Pedro is going to go into broadcasting and become the next Ozzie Guillen, and then you're all going to claim you renounced the hatred. Do it now.
LET LOVE ENTER YOUR HEARTS.
We know what you're doing here., duque. In the words of our hero and namesake ...
ReplyDelete"IT'S A RUSE!!!"
You ask people to sign a petition to forgive Pedro ... and then, whatever soft, closet redsock sympathizers bite and sign the petition get their ISP numbers put on a permanently "banned from IIH" list.
Shrewed move by our fearless leader.
... BTW, if that's NOT your plan, then, well, all I can say is don't go all Rudy Giuliani on us, duque. Next thing you know you'll be saying we should work the outside corner when Youk is up.
I say one word, Bern:
ReplyDeleteLove. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.