Kitschers and Patchers report: Top 10 Yankee Kitschers

"Kitsch: 1. something that appeals to popular or lowbrow taste and is often of poor quality;
2 : a tacky or lowbrow quality or condition."

Top 10 Yankee Kitschers of 2009

1. Nick Swisher -- did cameo sitcom, toured America as Yankee icon.
2. Randy Levine -- did talk shows, toured China as Yankee trophy.
3. Alex Rodriguez -- worked to become Tiger Woods.
4. John Sterling -- set new win-warble record.
5. Joba Chamberlain's impersonator -- did free-lunch tour of Jersey, claimed to score with 50 women.
6. Lady Gaga -- claims to work at least one Yankee analogy into all media interviews.
7. Brett Tomko -- painted team dental office portraits.
8. Martha Coakley -- called Curt Schilling a Yankee fan.
9. Kei Igawa -- lifetime achievement.
10. CC Sabathia -- appeared on Leno, drew blank on Yankee history.