ARod turns Cameron Diaz

Mr. Six Hundred Homers of love has saved another Hollywood soul from the demon bite of Count Lasorda. Cameron Diaz has been swayed by Arod's 38-ounce, thin-handled hardwood lumber, and from the looks of things, it's happened just in time for a new Yankee cap fitting.

It was this period last summer when Arod started scoring with Kate Hudson, the Almost Famous groupy-lady, and who knew she had a World Series box seat cheerleader role inside her, waiting to emerge? The question: can Diaz bear photo shoots this October, or will she end up on the Yankee clubhouse wall with mustaches drawn upon her unrepentant Botox smile, checking her black book for the number of Jim Carrey's treehouse.

Frankly, we hope Arod continues to churn through Hollywood like General Sherman marching to the sea. We figure he's got at least five more years of Deuce Bigalow before retirement. Here's the itinerary we hope to see:

2011: Sandra Bullock -- She'll be over the Jesse James-tattooed bizarro lady scandal, and she'll be anxious to match her Oscar statue with an MYP trophy. She co-starred with Stallone. She can shake hands with Jorge, urine scent or not.

2012: Meryl Streep -- Let's face it. Arod needs to go here soon, NOW, yesterday, because at her advanced age, every week is a month. When you've played Julia Childs, it may already be too late. But she can teach Arod to speak in foreign accents, which he can use to befuddle reporters after going 0-5.

2013: Lara Logan -- The Afghanistan hottie in the Kevlar vest. She's still muy pissed off about that Rolling Stone reporter stealing all the news she'd been intending to break someday, when the time is right. She'll be stateside, divorced, cynical, fuming at the world and looking to shed her pent-up anti-Taliban rage and cover a winner.

2014: Julia Roberts -- Yes, Arod will be climbing the Hollywood glamour throne, ascending higher each year, and going where the likes of Richard Gere have hitherso gone, as he steels his Hall of Fame cred.

2015: Miley Cyrus -- She'll be, what, 22? He'll be, what, 40? Listen, the man's disconnected will go dead and flacid into Cooperstown, by way of the Viagra Express. If Arod doesn't break Barry Bonds' HR record, he'll at least break Jack Nicholson's.

2016: (If he's around) Drew Barrymore -- Imagine her re-creating the final scene from Fever Pitch, in reverse!

I know what you're thinking: What about Megan Fox?

She's all John Sterling's.