Thursday, September 30, 2010

Warning to America: IF THE YANKEES LOSE IN THE FIRST ROUND OF THE PLAYOFFS, WE WILL BURN THIS KORAN

Oh, yes, we put a silly jacket on it, because we haven't lost yet, and there's no sense inflaming international tensions over a simple baseball game, no? But trust me, world, it's the real deal. Alphonso bought it from a street vendor in Tunisia, paid top-dollar, plus some redneck toadlicker candy. It's hardbound, not the paperback edition. (Only the best, at IIH.)

So there you have it, Texas. Think about it, Minnesota.

Yankees lose? Poof. Drew Barrymore as "Firestarter."

Yankee season ends? Screaming season begins.

Simple terms, people, simple terms:

If AJ Burnett is not lights out, we will have no recourse -- none, whatsoever -- but to be "lights-on."

As John would say, let's burn something togethahhhhhhhh. Mwahahahahahahaahahhahahah.
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4 comments:

  1. Len BermanSeptember 30, 2010 at 7:05 AM

    You can burn as many copies of my book as you want. I'll even autograph them for a small extra fee. btw today I will be at the Walmart in the Westchester Mall.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Len BermanSeptember 30, 2010 at 7:14 AM

    Did Alphonso go to Tunisia because he was following my, i.e. Len Berman's, advice to span the world?

    ReplyDelete
  3. The AyatollahSeptember 30, 2010 at 7:18 AM

    If the Yankees lose I will burn Len Berman. If they win I'll burn him too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Alibi IkeSeptember 30, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    When are you going to grow the walrus mustache required for this?

    ReplyDelete

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