Yankeetorial: The brain trust celebrates freedom of expression, freedom of thought

Yesterday, Brian Cashman announced that our supreme Yank brassers seriously pondered re-signing Carl Pavano, the "Bronx Buttocks" of IT IS HIGH's award-winning Yankeeography series. Immediately, sore-faced bloggers condemned the idea, claiming it smacked of JavierVazquezism.

Those fools are freedom-hating communists.

Dagnabbit, let's celebrate open intellectual discourse. The Yank front office/Montisorri School is ramping up creativity by letting execs play drums, build Leggo towns and perform skits, such as "Why Not Sign Carl Pavano?" To build a Yankee dynasty, we must not clamp down on free thought. We must endorse it, welcome it, build upon it.

What if Joba Chamberlain starts? What if Robbie Cano bats third? What if Brett Gardner leads-off? Whoaaaaaa, blow my farrr-eeeekin mind? What if we go to spring training and let the absolute best pitcher nail down the fourth and fifth starters slots -- regardless of age? Farrrrrrrrrr out. Pass me another joint, Hank. What if we don't automatically set the pitching staff according to who gets paid the most money! Yahahahaha, I must be trippin' man, this is toooooooooooooo much.

Hey, I got a idea. Let's rappel down buildings! Jeet wants too much money? Let's rip on him in print! See what happens. Quick, gimmie more crayons. I'm drawing a bridge to Mariano.

Sing it, brothers and sisters: Yankee Stadium is a Thought-Police-Free Zone. Nobody workin' on Maggie's farm. Nobody pickin' cotton for The Man! This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. Jesus is coming. We are celebrating freedom of expression. Freedom of thought, freedom to be... you 'n me!