Tuesday, August 23, 2011

10 Things John Sterling Would Say During an Earthquake


"No more Little Debbies, Suzyn, my stomach feels queasy.”

“Those cracks in the upper façade, they fixed them, didn’t they?”

“Wow, just seeing Derek Jeter; you almost feel the earth move!”

“How do they make the foul poles shimmy like that?”

“I don’t care what anybody says, you can’t predict earthquakes, you just can’t.”

“I think CC Sabathia may have just entered the booth..”

“It is high, it is far, it is – collapsing everywhere around us.”

"It’s an A-bomb – I mean it, a real A-bomb!”

“You know, Suzyn, right now I just don’t feel safe and secure...”

“I hope nothing collapsed at the Riverside Jewish Home. You know, it’s like a college campus!”

"We'll get to hear all the fatality totals on Suzyn's clubhouse report."

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4 comments:

  1. Larry RothschildAugust 23, 2011 at 9:03 PM

    Oy vey, El Duque.
    It's the Hebrew Home at Riverdale

    ReplyDelete
  2. el duqueAugust 23, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    He would know this, but he would say it wrong, because his brain was jiggling.

    ReplyDelete
  3. lackaperspectiveAugust 24, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Maybe the best entry this summer since the biblical story of Brett Gardner. “I don’t care what anybody says, you can’t predict earthquakes, you just can’t," should be nominated for best line of 2011.

    It has been kind of a .500 summer for this blog, but a couple more entries like this and you'll be in as the wild card.

    ReplyDelete
  4. buddy carlyle hackettAugust 25, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    dear lackaperspective
    .500 qualifies for super mvp
    I dare you to find a yankee blogger funnier than el duque.

    ReplyDelete

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