Open Letter to Moammar Gaddafi: Leave. Now.

Dear Madam or Sir (and I mean that sincerely:)

Firstoff, scumbag... you're one Ugly Asshole. Got that? And I don't just call anybody that name. You can look it up. Not even Youkilis. You? With a capital U and a capital A.

Secondly, even when America claimed to sort of like you, back when you were trying to suck up, we didn't. You're just too stupid to recognize when people are talking behind your back. Nobody ever liked you. Your kids don't like you. Your hot Amazon bodyguards, they're gone now, they didn't even like you. To them, you were like Hef, just a limp old coot who pees five times a night, and who can't find his way to a woman's pleasure zone with a flashlight and GPS.

Thirdly, if you read this blog, you know what happened when we declared war on Bleacher Report this weekend. Kaboom. Also, we were right about the Ubaldo Jiminez trade. And we're right about you, too, pallyboy.

Like the White House, the Congress and the entire free world, on behalf of IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS caught... I say, get the hell out! Now.

Go! Shoe! Be gone! Same for the horse you rode in on! You're gone, buddyboy.