1. When Mariano emerges, have Metallica play "Enter Sandman" live.
2. Electrified corpse of Bud Selig performs breakdance on dugout roof.
3. Trevor Hoffman takes time out from incredibly busy schedule to appear.
4. Obama, Boehner, sign bill creating job for every fan in attendance.
5. Panama issued U.S. statehood.
6. Luis Gonzalez shot from cannon into humpback arc over NY Harbor.
7. Tapan Zee renamed "Bridge to Mariano."
8. Yankees, teaming up with Steiner Collectibles, unveil limited edition commemorative keepsake "Mo 602" Stadium Dirt Packet, only $99.99.
9. Fans draw, quarter, set fire to Dave Roberts.
10. John Sterling invents signature phrase for a Mariano save.
Unfortunately, only #8 is likely to happen.
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