Hack to the Future: Why we'll probably pass on Yu Darvish

The Yankees lost the winter of 2010-11 by 10 games. We finished out of the pre-season playoffs. Frankly, we were a disgrace.

Philly stole Cliff Lee, and Boston grabbed Superman Crawford -- while Brian Cashman sat in the clubhouse, drinking beer and eating fried chicken.

In the end, we desperately flailed at the air like a blind bar brawler - signing Raphael Soriano, Freddy Garcia and Bartolo Colon, anybody - punching the walls with our clenched, greasy fingers.

It proved to be Cashman's greatest triumph. So this Christmas, why wouldn't he do it again? Instead of buying new gifts from The Sharper Image, he'll go to the scrapyard, pick up recycled metal and make us hand-crafted bottle openers and roachclips.

As for Yu Darvish? I hate to say it, but we wouldn't we assume Texas will buy him? Four reasons:

1) They're not shy about international talent; for months, they've been rumored to have the inside track on Darvish.

2) They're bathing in found money from their new Fox Sports TV contract; the network will want them to become baseball's marquee team. Yu will be an instant draw, boosting ratings.

3) They need to wash the stink off their World Series choke; Yu is a quick chance to rebrand.

4) They might lose CJ Wilson - maybe to California or Seattle - which would leave them punching elevator walls like You Know Who. (There's something about Nolan Ryan that reminds me of George Steinbrenner. The older and crabbier he gets -- and the more enraged by losses -- the more he wants to fling his weight around. With all the new cash, he's probably screaming at his underlings that he'll fire them if the Rangers are outbidded. If I'm right, they'll shoot the moon: $60-$80 million for the posting rights alone.)

Again... I hope we sign Darvish. (Yeah, what I hope doesn't matter.) But Cashman is probably more inclined to eat chicken and chase Jeff Karstens.