Yankeetorial: If we trade AJ Burnett, we'll regret it

Today, Feb. 9, we have seven - count 'em seven - starting pitchers. They will battle for five - just five -- slots. What a grand arsenal! How smart we are! Why, we should throw away a starter or two, and we'll still be perched high in our birdcage, compared to the Royals and Pirates of the world, right?

Listen: That's what Theo Epstein was thinking last year. The Redsocks had so many pitchers, they needed to ground a few up for sausage pizza.

Today, we have seven starters... that is, Ivan Nova's mysterious arm ailment from last October has gone away... and Freddie Garcia didn't get a year older... and Michael Pineda isn't Ubaldo Jiminez II... and Phil Hughes doesn't come to camp doofusing to everybody about his weight loss while looking like Karen Carpenter during her last performance of "Muskrat Love."  We have seven starters...  and as long as somebody right now is keeping quiet about hurting his elbow hurt last week on a twist-off bottle of MD-20/20.

In other words, we have seven starters at this moment in time  - which does us no good. What in the name of Carl Pavano would make us think this surplus will last?

The latest slush from the land of Yankee Speculation is that we want to peddle AJ Burnett to the Pirates for the ghost of Doc Medich, and that we'll pay them $8 million just to be done with him. Thus, we'll save $4 million this year and next. WTF? Let's rethink this.

AJ Burnett is not worth what we're paying him. That's our fault, not his. He's a decent major league pitcher. He might rebound. He's well worth having. And if a pitcher goes down - check that - when a pitcher goes down... we're going to need him.

Brian Cashman may be overthinking things these days, trying to outsmart the world. For reasons that don't need to be re-explained, he doesn't look as smart this week as two weeks ago. (Just as Theo doesn't look as smart this February as last year.) If the Jesus Montero trade tanks - considering that we also gave away Hector Noesi - we could be facing a serious arm shortage by May 15.

What is going on here? The latest line is that we're dumping AJ so we can sign a DH. Good grief: If we want to sign Johnny Damon, SIGN JOHNNY DAMON. Why are we letting money stand in the way? Come on, Steinbrenners! You're billionaires. What are you going to do, take it with you to the next world? Money can't buy you love - aside from the love I will gratefully pour your way in this blog if you win the World Series. Yes. Love. Nobody on that servant staff of yours will love you like this web site. Nobody. So pay up, you cheap bastards. Good grief. I shouldn't even have to be saying this. It's ridiculous. You should know it without having to hear it. Pay the money. You don't need another boat. And half of whatever Cashman makes is going to his ex-wife anyway. Take the cut and sign Johnny Damon.