Today I’m scouting the Orioles v. Blue Jays in Florida

I’ll be on the lookout for that Showalter punkwad, so I can ask once again why he pulled his Texas Rangers starters on the last game of the season, years back, so the Angels would win and get home field advantage over the Yankees in the playoffs. I wanna hear what Mr. Baseball tells people about that day, how he claims to be Professor Old School, then he pulls his starters to determine home field advantage on a post-season.  That man better not ride the elevator with me, or he’ll come out bleeding from the Dumbos; I’ll cuff him with the truth.

I’m bringing zip-locks and a trowel, so we’ll have stool sample analysis for Melky One and maybe that Batista lug who went from Bruce Banner to the Hulk in one season, and because it happened in Toronto, nobody asked questions. Think inquiring minds would have asked in NY?

I’ll be looking for weak links we can exploit during the season. The bulk of my report, of course, will go in an encrypted file to Joe Girardi. I’ll sanitize the rest and post it tomorrow, after I quinine high tails off.