What we talk about when we talk about Youk

DATELINE: 2019: Last night, the Yankees celebrated the return of longtime star slugger Kevin Youkilis in a victory over Boston. Youkilis teamed with centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury to beat the Redsocks and pitcher Phil Hughes. When Youkilis came to bat, the crowd instantly began chanting his name, signaling a grand New York tradition that began in 2013...

Spoiler alert: I have a psychological disorder about Youkilis being a Yankee.

I'm undergoing therapy. I'm trying to work through it. I've reached the point where I don't hate Youkilis - let me be clear on this - I want him to do well for us. But watching him being trotted out as the star Yankee attraction in a showdown against Boston? I dunno. At what point do we, as psychotic Yankee fans, start to feel manipulated?

I keep having flashbacks to pro wrestling: One day, Rowdy Roddy Piper is the bad guy, next day he's the hero. So which is he? And more importantly, which was he, all along?

Of course, in pro wrestling, we know the answer: It's all an act, so Rowdy Roddy hasn't changed one bit. He's the same guy he always was. He's just working from a different script. It's all for show, don't you get it? And if you can't, it's your problem.

Youkilis, as a Yankee, has not changed his personality. OK, he shaved the beard. Big deal. He's doing everything else the same. And yet, everything around him has changed the script.

When John Sterling and the YES Men talk about getting "Youk's big bat into the Yankee lineup" - spin that rolls unconsciously from their tongues - it's as if they are rewriting the last 10 years of Yankee/Redsock rivalry - which was the most exciting in professional sports. Youkilis was the enemy, the criminal, the Redsock we loved to plunk. Now, it's the elephant in the room, but they pretend it never happened. They move to effortlessly, so seamlessly into the new reality that I wonder... did it happen at all?

Again, I have come to feel nothing against Youkilis personally. He could be a lovable personality, had he been a lifelong Yankee. But something here is wrong. It's like a longtime criminal has suddenly become a cop. We're supposed to roll over and root for him - as we did last night?

Well, let me tell you what I was thinking last night:

They can talk up the Yankee/Redsock rivalry all they want: But they have dealt it an incredible blow. Tomorrow, Dustin Pedroia could be hitting for us against Joba. Once, that seemed impossible. Now, it almost seems inevitable. Pedro Martinez, where are you? Don Zimmer is just a memory.