Blinded By the Lie: What his hero, the Boss, would say about the Chris Christie bridge scandal

Nobody loves Bruce Springsteen more than New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. But the highway was jammed with broken heroes last year, and it’s put him into a last chance power drive. Fact it, nobody can tell the Big Man’s fate better than The Boss.

Oh-oh, join my campaign,

I’m riding out tonight to-oo close your exit lane.
Oh-oh, Pander Road... 

Got a wife and kids in Morristown, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never came back,
Like a glutton who don't know where he’s sated,
I died in traffic while my ambulance waited.
Not everybody's got a healthy heart
Not everybody's got a healthy heart
Good luck in waiting for the lanes to part.
Not everybody's got a hell-hell-healthy heart

The car door slams,
Mary’s gut flames,
Like a vision she dances across the road
As her bladder-full drains.
Three hours of sitting by her lonely
Nature calls and you've one choice only…

 In Christie’s room, there are pictures
Of his heroes on the walls,
But to get to Christie’s room,
You gotta kiss the ridges of Christie’s balls…

I got a sixty-nine Chevy with a 396
Fuelie heads and a Hurst on the floor
She's waiting tonight down in the parking lot

That used to be State Route 104…

I'm gonna sit back right easy and laugh
When Wild Bridget and the Big Man

Cut their flow lanes in half
Tenth Entrance Ramp freeze-out
  

Roll up the windows, and let the A.C. smack your hair.
The car’s boilin’ over, this one lane won’t take us anywhere.

Now those emails come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse.
Is an aide a liar, if she takes your fall?
Or is she something worse?

Everyone lies, Bridget, that's a fact,
But maybe everyone that lies someday comes back
Take your emails down, take your bullet gritty,

And we’ll get you a job with Atlantic City

Now I know your mayor he don’t like me
Cause I play a Republican brand,
And I know your council, they don’t dig me,
But they owe me at least ten grand,
We’re going to lower the bar
We’ll lock you in your car,
I'm coming to make a stand,
I’m coming to humiliate you, incarcerate you,
I’ll plant you in the sand,
Someday you’ll look back on this
And it will all seem slimy.
But now you’re sad,
The traffic’s bad,
And the mayor says he knows
That I’m showing you my hiney.
The mayor says he knows
I’m just showing you my hiney.
The mayor says he knows
I’m just showing you my hiney.
Well tell him this is his last roll,
To get his city off my death patrol,
Because the guys at Fox News, Rosey,
Just put me atop their poll!

Other songs:

It’s Hard to Run a Slate in the City

The Wild, The Innocent And The E Mail Shuffle
4^th of July Asbury Park-and-RideMeeting on the Bridge Across the River
Bungle Land
Adam Closed a Lane
Cover Me
I’m Going Down
57 Channels (And nothing open)
The Ghost of Tom Delay
My Jersey in Ruins
Girls in their Summer Cars
We Take Care of Our Own