It’s been 95 years since Shoeless Joe was banned by
the Bud Selig of his generation. The world still remembers Jackson, still
debates him, still views him as one of the great hitters of history. He will be
known long after other stars of his time are forgotten. It’s the Bill Buckner Effect.
He will take on a larger than life perspective, because people have an innate appreciation
for greatness and a fascination with tragedy. It is part of human nature.
Over the next year, in the darkest times, you must
remember this.
Someday, the world will track through its
instinctive anger upon hearing the name Alex Rodriguez. Someday, writers and
pundits will compare your transgressions to a generation of far worse villains,
because evil seems to evolve more quickly within our species than goodness. Eventually,
they’ll say you weren’t so bad. But it will take time. Maybe a lot of it.
Listen: Yesterday, you screwed up. You pushed a nuke
button and began suing MLB and the player’s union. My friend, that is a loser’s
strategy - unless you are lawyer. It’s how to spend $10 million, without
achieving anything - unless you are a
lawyer. Your name will get dragged through the mud, and the lawyers will
become famous and rich, and sir, you should rethink that strategy soon. The
courts will not save you. They will simply take your money.
Many people, like you, believe the recent arbiter’s
ruling was a shame. But one thing Frederic Horowitz did do was to cut your suspension
from 1.5 years to one. That’s not minor. That’s the difference between a
lifetime ban and a year off.
Listen: You have been given a year to redeem your
name.
This is no time to go Robert Redford and sail around
the world, thinking if you die, everybody will feel bad. This is no time to run
a liquor store and pretend you don’t recognize people. This is a year to get
out and make the world a better place. I’m not talking about “personal
appearances.” Courtney Love makes “personal appearances.” Get out and work. Get
out and build Habitat for Humanity homes. Get out and march for crops, or
causes. Get out and wield hammers and deliver foodstuffs, and actually do
things. Don’t disappear into a weight room. Don’t hide with the aerobics
instructors and the hangers-on. Get out and be with real people.
Bud Selig sold cars. Know what? He’ll always been a
car salesman. Go out be Alex Rodriguez, the person, not the player. You cannot win
your case in the courts. There will be no justice there, just a bunch of suits who
nod and take your money. Plead your case to the people, to the fans, to
America. That is the only court that matters.
If you get involved with a righteous cause, the next
year will disappear in what seems like a minute. It will soon be the winter of 2015,
and nobody will give you a chance at returning to baseball. And that’s when you
get a shot at proving them wrong. That’s when you can show the world who Alex
Rodriguez is.
Because, frankly, we still don’t know.
You’ve been granted a final act. Not many people get
one. You have one year. Will you sit in your compound, screw the latest stripper
and direct your legal war? Or will you get out and work with people – REALLY work
with people, not just do p.r. – and become the person you’ve never been able to
be. It's time to tell the truth - about everything.
The craziest part of your defense was that crowd of
nutjobs who showed up on the streets of New York to support you. Everybody
assumed they were paid. Well, maybe it doesn’t matter. Wherever you go, there will
be a crowd of nutjobs. (Some will be there to heckle.) You have a podium. You
have a chance to tell about your life, and maybe to do some good.
Sir, you are not “retired.” You are “banned,” and banned
by a gang of jokers who will carry a lot of historical baggage. Everything they
did will come out. Everything you did will come out. You don’t need lawyers. You
need friends. Do something with your year. Do something with this ban. You will
be remembered for 100 years, like Shoeless Joe.
Do something. Or else buy a liquor store and instead
of selling booze, just drink it up yourself. Because it’ll be you in the mirror that you
pretend not to recognize.
If giving of his time is just too altruistic for A-Rod, he can change where his money is going. Instead of letting Joe Tacopina and his ilk fleece you, give all us fans $5 beers for the entire time you are suspended. Nothing says love'n to a Yankee fan more than a heavy subsidy of our brew purchases. It will also make watching the 2014 Yanks a little more tolerable.
ReplyDeleteThis is some of the best advice that A-Rod will never listen to. Beautiful suggestions, augmented by a great story about Shoeless Joe and Ty Cobb -- they lived only about 50 miles away from each other.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, our man A-Rod has got some pretty monumental tragic flaws that he qualifies for a Shakespeare title. Also, it's hard to see how he would ever devote himself to good works when he is so insane about protecting his "legacy." His legacy is to be one of the all-time villains..