Thursday, February 13, 2014

Continued; The top all-time Coolest Yankees... Numbers 4 and 3

“Secrets...are the very root of cool. - William Gibson, Spook Country.

Who are the all-time coolest Yankees? Going down to the wire:

No. 4. Babe Ruth: American icon; boozer, womanizer, brawler, binge-eater; over-indulger of everything sinful, who then compensated through work with sick children; inspired 1) "The House that Ruth Built," 2) Baby Ruth candy bar, 3) the Babe Ruth League, 4) the word "Ruthian," 5) more biographies than any other ballplayer in history; in 1930s had two network radio programs The Adventures of Babe Ruth and Here's Babe Ruth; appeared in several movies, silent and talkies, including Pride of the Yankees, in which he lost 40 pounds to play himself; joked with presidents and world leaders; during WWII, Japanese soldiers said to yell, "To hell with Babe Ruth!" to piss off Americans; voted greatest player ever; married twice;  "The Bambino," "The Sultan of Swat;" did and said whatever the hell he wanted; and whatever the hell he did or said automatically defined cool.


3. Joe DiMaggio: "The Yankee Clipper;" dad was fisherman from Italy, processed at Ellis Island, later put on U.S. government list as potential WWII enemy; set Pacific Coast League record by hitting in 61 consecutive games; pictured on cover of first SPORT Magazine; robbed of many HRs due to Yankee Stadium contours; Al Gionfriddo's famous catch would have been gone anywhere else; in 56 game hitting streak scored 56 runs and would have had 56 RBIs but for base-running error; spent 1943 in military and made Sergeant; married stunning Hollywood starlet Dorothy Arnold; dated Lee Meriwether, Marlene Dietrich, Gloria De Haven, Morgan Fairchild, a Miss America, and half female population of San Francisco; friend of Bob Hope and many stars; sold Mr. Coffee machines; smoked like chimney; NYC  West Side Highway named in his honor; face on 2011 U.S. Postage Stamp; mythic figure in Hemmingway's Old Man and the Sea; mentioned by Billy Joel in We Didn't Start the Fire; too many TV show references to list; married somebody named Marilyn Monroe for 274 days; loved her to the end; many - including Bob Hope - believed he was her last hope for salvation; or as Paul Simon put it: "Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you." That's effing cool.


Tomorrow: Number 2 and Number 1. The All-Time Coolest Ever Yankees.

Care to guess?

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