In continuing youth movement, Yankees to sign Kim Novak

All right, no more talk about shortstops who came over on the Mayflower. Not after watching Kim Novak last night on the Oscars. All Derek Jeter needs is a Lifestyle Lift – (Debbie Boone had one!) -and we’ll be fine.

I don’t know how old Kim Novak is.

I don’t want to think about how old Kim Novak is.

Let’s just say she was probably a pinup in Yogi Berra’s locker. Let's just say her promo glossies are in black and white. Last night, she looked a little electrified – (Did Matthew McConaughey have her hooked up to a stun gun?) I say, good for her! She's still out there, taking her cuts on a major league field.

And what was the problem with Pink? She didn’t care enough about the Oscars to sing while suspended from a trapeze? Good grief. And how could the Academy overlook Grown Ups 2! I thought Adam Sandler was great. (A Yankee fan, by the way.)