If I ran the team...

Screw Meat Loaf: Two out of three aint good, especially when you lose them to Tampa, and fan 17 times in one game. I'm officially rattled. It's Yankee Defcon-4. That means, like any good fan, it's time for postulating and prophesying, strategizing and soliloquizing, blathering and bloviating about what to do. 

Here's my trademarked IT IS HIGH Action Plan, or IIHAC (TM).

First base: The truth isn't out there. Chris Carter isn't working. We signed him as 15-minutes of Geico insurance, in case Greg Bird failed. Well, Greg Bird failed, and he still hasn't paid out on the policy.

Though Carter isn't the stone statue fielder we feared, the whiffs are mounting, and we can no longer say he's merely a streaky hitter who needs at bats. Dear god, he's a free-swing, undisciplined turnstile pinwheel, and this team cannot absorb another 200 strikeouts.

I say bring up Rob Refsnyder, and audition him at 1B for the next two weeks, while Bird and Tyler Austin untweak their swollen gonads. Keep Carter as a backup, for now. But when Bird and Austin return, unless he dramatically improves, eat the money and waive him. This lineup doesn't need more home runs. It needs more line drives, more sac flies, more groundball singles to the opposite field. A couple of the above, and we would have won Tampa. 

Second base: Move Starlin Castro up to the second in the batting order, replacing Gary Sanchez. He's our best hitter, and he's certainly faster than Sanchez, who is a terrible base runner.

Shortstop: Move Didi Gregorius atop the batting order. Has anybody noticed? He's our best hitter. Why is he batting sixth or seventh? 

Third base: Stick with Headley for the time-being - Tyler Wade, who made an error last night at 3B in Scranton, just isn't ready - but move Glyber Torres to third. (The Yankees promoted Torres to Scranton last night.) Sometime in July, install Torres at thirdbase - the way he once did with Robbie Cano at second, over Tony Womack - and never look back. If first base remains a problem, move Headley there and cross our fingers. At least he won't be throwing balls into the right field stands.

Note: Under no circumstances should we trade for a veteran 1B or 3B. Teams like the Rays would love to steal the Yankee future for a twilight player like Evan Longoria, but such a move would kill us. We have solutions in the farm system. 

Outfield: Come July, package Jacoby Ellsbury with a shit-ton of gold bricks and a viable 24-year-old, and see if we can find a decent starting pitcher. If we can't - and, let's face it, we probably can't - dump Ellsbury on whatever team will take him for whatever they will give. Think of him as an old Ben Gamel. Bring up Dustin Fowler or Clint Frazier, and play Aaron Hicks in CF. Accelerate the youth plan. 

Pitchers: Not much we can do here. If Masahiro Tanaka doesn't figure it out, we're screwed. If he's hurt - if we find that elbow is finally shot - at least that means he won't opt out of his contract next winter, and he will be a Yankee for life. Let's keep him, and let's be happy. He's a great competitor, a great Yankee. Same with CC Sabathia: At this stage, why trade him? Let's be thankful that he lasted this long. 

As for Michael Pineda, we should weigh the odds of playing in a meaningful October, and come late July, perhaps try to peddle him for prospects to some hope-addicted team. (Would the long-suffering Mariners, clinging to the chance of winning a divisional title, accept Pineda, the prodigal son, and West Coast nature boy Ellsbury for a couple long-term projects?) Of course, if the Yankees are still atop the AL East, we'll never trade Pineda - (nor should we.) But if we keep losing two out of three, and fanning 17 times per game... well... those aint the ways of a world champion, eh? As Meat Loaf would say, all dressed up and no place to go.