Dietrich Enns - a 26-year-old lefty whom the Yankees buried at Scranton, until trading him last week for Jaime Garcia - will start tonight for Minnesota. (The Twins also received 21-year-old Zach Littell, a Double A pitcher.) River Ave summed him up this way: "Enns is pretty much a throw-in."
Garcia last week started for the Yankees. The 31-year-old went 4 and 2/3rd innings and gave up 5 earned runs. Said River Ave: The Yankees desperately needed a new fifth starter... and now they have one."
Good luck to both, as we track their production.
News item: Yankees offered Mets "multiple prospects" of their choosing for Jay Bruce.
ReplyDeleteWe now give you the transcript of a partial broadcast picked up from "The Metsverse," a terrifying alternative universe that exists parallel to our own, one first described by Stephen King.
August 10, 1993. Gene "Stick" Michael returns to his office high atop Yankee Stadium II, his ears still blistering from the tirade George "Banned for Life" Steinbrenner just laid on him, regarding the team's shutout loss to Boston and Frank Viola up in Fenway that night.
Michael nibbles at the single stalk of celery that is his only sustenance for the day, while studying the board listing all the Yankees' farmhands. Then he notices the little pink slip of paper on his desk: a phone message, from Al Harazin, general manager of the Mets.
'Harazin, poor bastard, all those hopes, and his season's gone south again. What with the firecrackers, and the bleach gun, and hey, lady!" Michael muses, channeling his inner Jerry Lewis while quietly crunching away. "But hey, he's making a solid offer here."
He looks at the phone message again, making sure he's deciphered his secretary's handwriting correctly. But there is no mistaking it.
'Damn, he's willing to give us Eddie Murray, Bobby Bonilla, Bret Saberhagen, and Sid Fernandez! And all he wants in return is Andy Pettitte, from down in the Carolina League, that Posada kid we just converted to catcher, that skinny reliever from Panama who had the arm surgery, and that first round draft choice from a couple years back who has five homers and 56 errors at short...'
Michael picks up the desk phone, and starts to dial.
'Well, hell. How can you argue with the chance to get that kind of star power? Murray, Bobby Bo, Saberhagen, and El Sid? They've got 18 All-Star games between them! The tabs will say I'm a genius!
'Sure, I told George we were still rebuilding. But we're just two back of Toronto! Who knows when we'll get a chance like this again?'
Michael looks at the organization board, reassuring himself with all the names still up there.
'Besides, it's not like we're stripping the franchise bare. We still have Russ Davis, Sterling Hitchcock, Mark Hutton, Bobby Munoz, Carlos Rodriguez, Domingo Jean, Andy Fox...and Brien Taylor! We can't miss!'
He turns back to the phone as it starts to ring, concentrating on how he will drive a hard bargain with Harazin.
"Besides, if I really push him, I bet I can get him to give up Vince Coleman!'
whoa! thanks, Hoss. Now I'm going to have nightmares about what might have been for 19 years until Enns, Littel, Rutherford, Kaprellian, Fowler et. al are out of baseball. hope you're happy.
ReplyDeleteHAHA...GREAT STUFF HOSS....."TERRIFYING ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE"....
ReplyDeleteTHAT, THEY ARE.
Why can't we get a pitcher who can field their position...jeez....?
ReplyDeleteBettances, Mitchell, Gray...if I had a Strat-O-Matic game, they all would be "4" fielders.
Why can't we have a team that scores runs after getting two men on with no outs? How many men have they left on base this year? Anything lower than 10000 would shock me.
ReplyDelete5TH INNING, FIRST AND SECOND, NO OUTS..... NOBODY FOR US CAN GET A BIG HIT.
ReplyDeleteGARDY COMES UP, WHO HAS STRUCK OUT TWICE (AND LOOKED BAD DOING IT BOTH TIMES)....
BUNT THE RUNNERS OVER?...... NAH.
MEEK FLY TO LEFT. (1)
HICKS MAKES OUT. (2)
JUDGE STRIKES OUT.(3)
INNING OVER.
YOU WOULD THINK SEEING THE SAME NON PRODUCTIVE RESULTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WOULD MAKE GIRARDI TRY SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT?.... LIKE MOVING THE RUNNERS OVER?
NAH.
TORRE HAD HIS TIME TO GO.....AND WE KNEW IT WAS TIME.
THE TIME HAS COME FOR JOE GIRARDI.... IT'S OFFICIAL NOW.
EVERY YEAR NOW, WE COLLAPSE NEAR THE END OF THE SEASON.... AND HORRIBLY.
SOMETHING IS WRONG.
SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.
THIS SHIT KEEPS HAPPENING YEAR AFTER YEAR.
WE BUILD "HILLS" FOR OUR PLAYERS IN SPRING TRAINING FOR STAMINA.
...BUT WE RUN OUT OF GAS EVERY YEAR NOW WITH GIRARDI AT THE HELM, FOR WHATEVER THE REASON..... SOMETHING IS WRONG..... SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.... YANKEE TEAMS USED TO BE ABOUT COMING ON STRONG THE 2ND HALF OF THE SEASON TO THE END.... NOT GIRARDI'S YANKEES.
IT'S TIME.
Aw yeah. Just feel that pineappley goodness! Hey, in all fairness, they make out with no runners on base, too! But seriously, drop a series the goddam Blue Jays, and I'm supposed to give a shit about these games against Boston?
ReplyDeleteWE'VE REACHED MOON PAPI PROPORTIONS ITS TIME TO START ...MOON GIRARDI UNTIL THEY FIRE HIM...THIS TEAM NEEDs A FREAKIN INTERVENTION
ReplyDelete
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