Let's skip the whole concept of a race. Let's
try to trade Ellsbury and Chapo for some donuts I know this is a complete
fantasy, but it makes me happy to verbalize it. Let's bring up all the young
guys. Let's get rid of all the mediocre lard-asses. Let's tear down the stadium
while we're at it, pull out the old blueprints, and rebuild the old stadium
where it used to be. Let's dig up George's body and clone some of his rotten
old DNA. If that doesn't work, can we get Hal to see out to CBS? CNN? The CDC?
IT DOESN'T WORK, BRIAN, YOUR IDIOT PHILOSOPHY DOESN'T WORK. Go hang out with
Randy on a yacht near Jamaica Bay. Maybe you'll get shipwrecked in Queens and
be unable to find your way home. Tell Joey Binders to come rescue you, then
close all the bridges and tunnels. FORGET THE RACE. This is getting to be like
Groundhog Day - same shit, different year. You teased us all last year with the
sliver of hope that you would be doing things differently, but why should a
no-imagination moron ever learn something new or change their ways? WHY WAS I
STUPID ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THIS? It's Lucy and the football. It's deja-vu all
over again. It's getting dark early out here. Oh shit, they let me out of my
cage. I'm so sorry to rant. I just saw the word "race" and lost my
mind. The race is over, my friends. I'm going to take a bike ride and forget
the pain of Yanksistence for a few moments. Maybe I'll find a good ice vendor
uptown and drown my sorrows in mango listeria ice. UGH.
I am humbled. And, once again, I must proof before I hit "Publish," even if the drool and spittle are covering the monitor...
ReplyDeleteUtter genius.
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