I live in the Southeast and the eclipse was
interesting. I bought a pair of 3D glasses for the timeless Disney theme park
production, Honey, I Shrunk The Audience. They arrived in decent condition,
their smell a rumor of Tio Sancho microwaveable nachos and well-rolled Dungeons
and Dragons dice. I tried to secure Captain EO 3D glasses but fuck you to the
guy who outbid me on eBay. I took a Viagra for the first time, a guy at the gas
station told me, "dude, you won't regret it. A day like today deserves
your full attention." I'm using Google voice to transcribe this because I
cant see and I'm also having trouble hearing. I don't know if it's from the
eclipse defeating my specs, or a side effect of the Viagra, but the good news
is that I've had a raging boner for about 4 hours and 13 minutes, which is how
I went through most of junior high school. I'm wandering around my cul de sac
in a pair of sweatpants (work from home), sightless and yelling for help
because I can't hear anything. I keep banging into mailboxes and trash cans.
What time is the game tonight? Does anyone else want nachos?
The guy who killed Ghaddafi photo will always make me laugh. Everything about it is perfect: the golden gun, the peace signs being thrown up over the guy who they just shot in the head, the boy scout on the right, a Michelangelo-esque pose from our guy in the Yankee hat.
ReplyDeleteTHE YANKEE HAT AND THE GOLDEN GUN.
ReplyDeleteSOUNDS LIKE A JAMES BOND MOVIE.
I like the concept ANONYMOUS, but it's too close to "The Man with the Golden Gun"
ReplyDeletePerhaps "From the Binders with Love" or "OctoRandyLevine"
The horror.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteLet's get back to IBW's post: It's pretty darned funny on many levels:
- It's always good to seek medical advice from "a guy at the gas station"
- Speaking of seeking medical advice, please don't think we didn't notice the length
of time you had "a raging boner"
- The image of a man "wandering around [a] cul de sac in a pair of sweatpants (work
from home), sightless and yelling for help" is priceless.
Very, very well done.
"OctoRandyLevine"
ReplyDeleteShouldn't it be OctoIrabu?
Loved the post - thank you, laughed out loud.
ReplyDeleteCan we save this and post after the next eclipse?
ReplyDeleteThink it over. We have time.
ABSOLUTE PURE PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you all. It made for a pretty eventful little Monday around here.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.