Congrats to Yankees for playing the owners' game... NO COLLUSION

In recent days, the three last formerly free-born Americans - Mike Moustakas, Jake Arrieta and Lance Lynn - hooked-up with THE MAN, (aka MLB), without a peep from its newest poster child, the penny-wise, purse-clutching, bargain-loving, fiscally prudent New York Yankees. (NO COLLUSION!) One of them signed for peanuts. (NO COLLUSION!)

That's Moustakas, a lefty-hitting 3B, who re-upped with quiet KC for one season at a measly $5.5 mill - or as it's known to major leaguers, clam dip money. Last year, it wouldn't buy you Tyler Clippard ($6.1 mill), and it was a summer rental above what the Yanks paid jovial Chris "Swing and Miss" Carter ($3.5 mill) to walk to and from the batter's box 76 times in 200 plate appearances. (Note: The Cart Man is back, trying to make it with the Angels; this spring, he has 2 home runs and is hitting .261. Only 5 k's in 23 at bats. Go, Carty, go!) 

This weekend, Arrieta plugged in with the Phillies for three years at $25 mill, and Lynn joined the Twins: one year, $12 mill. (NO COLLUSION!) Neil Walker is still out there, standing at a highway entrance with a cardboard sign that says "10-YEAR-VETERAN; NEEDS WORK. Next to him, an owner-hired Pinkerton holds up a printed sign that says "NO COLLUSION."

Of the three former free agents, clearly, Moustakas could have fit nicely into Pinstripes. Last year, he hit 38 HRs, (and get this: to become a free agent, he rejected a $17 mill qualifying offer from KC.) Imagine a lineup with Moustakas batting, say, sixth, after Gary Kracken, and we would already be camping on the Canyon of Heroes, securing our spot for the parade. Imagine the Yankee front office last week, as the final, desperate call came in from Moustaka's agent, offering him for - say - $7 mill. At that price, the Yankees would remain under the luxury tax threshold (also known as a salary cap), and field a virtual all-star lineup, from top to bottom. In many respectable projections, his lefty bat could have hit third, between Judge and Giancarlo. Can you imagine Old George saying no? But they held the line. (NO COLLUSION!)

Listen: I'm not whining. I'm sorta glad they didn't sign Moustakas, because it would mean ditching not only 4-HR Miguel Andujar (aka "Giancarlo Scranton"), but Gleyber Torres and Tyler Wade (because Brendan Drury would move to 2B.) Also, for signing Moustakas, the Yankees would forfeit a draft pick and money to sign international free agents. Somehow, the owners' negotiators two years ago ran circles around the players union in the last contract settlement. If Trump had MLB's lawyers, nobody in America would know of Stormy Daniels. (Except Alphonso, of course. He would know.)

Still, imagine that final call: Moustakas, for a ridiculous $7 mill. NO COLLUSION, right? Jeez, what a joke.