They can't beat us at home...
They can't beat us at home...
It must unfurl along with the game, growing steadily, until in the ninth - with victory assured and the Redsock champagne crates en route to Boston - the decibel levels shake the concrete mezzanines and echo throughout the Yankiverse.
THEY CAN'T BEAT US AT HOME!
The Redsock '18 Hall of Fame Superteam of Destiny (TM)... can't beat us in New York.
All of which will create an existential crisis within the rank and file of this Suffering Chosen Tribe of Celebrities and Understanding White Oh-Dears - the James Taylors, the Ben Afflecks, the Stephen Kings - who still feel put-upon because Uncle Wilmer's liver didn't make it to 2004. Their team spends $40 million more than the competition, yet they still cling to the Cinderella Syndrome, railing against the big money Yankees, as they sit their argyle socked toes onto the breakfast nook and ease warmly into the next cloudy snifter of scotch.
And if we can lure these preening, self-indulgent fuckwads into a five-game blood match, all we need is one - one win, I say! - in Fenway.
Eleven games remain in the reg. For the Sons of Anarchy - those merry A's - to overtake us and steal the home field Wild Card, they practically must win all 11. (They play the Angels, Twins, Mariners, then Angels again; I'm figuring 8-3.) After tonight, we have three no-excuse games at home against the worst O's team in history. If we beat Boston tonight, then sweep Buck onto his rightful pedestal within the Gene Mauch dust heap of baseball history - the long time manager who never won nothing - we'd be at least four up with seven to play. Anything can happen. But win tonight, and I like our chances...
Tonight, it's Eduardo Rodriguez. We must be patient. Masahiro must throw zeroes. Aroldis Chapman needs to pitch an inning. Dellin Betances needs a 1-2-3. Giancarlo Stanton needs a homer. Gary Sanchez needs a hit. The defense needs to hold. And the chant needs to be heard.
They can't beat us at home.
They. Can't. Beat. Us. At. Home.
Duque (+Mustang),
ReplyDeletePurchased "The Wrong Earth" in the digital format, but I am an old guy and like actual paper to read. Went to the local comic shop yesterday (my first trip to such an establishment in over 4 decades). It is less than 4 miles from the house that I have lived in for 27 years, but I didn't even know it existed.
Well, not only did they have a copy, they put me on a preorder list for the series.
One down side, since I live behind enemy lines, the store owner was wearing a disgusting hat with a faded red 'B' on it.
Do I get combat pay for that?
I don't know what else to say, other than ...
ReplyDeleteSo endeth the JuJu.
BILL MURRAY IN "MEATBALLS"....
ReplyDelete"IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER, IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER."
"THEY CAN'T BEAT US AT HOME. THEY CAN'T BEAT US AT HOME, THEY CAN'T BEAT US AT HOME."
I LOVE IT.
HERE WE COME.
Rufus, thanks! At very least you deserve an AHOY hat. If you're on Facebook, dm me your address.
ReplyDeleteYou were right! Pineda should have started. I have a nasty feeling that tonight’s anthem will be (with all due respect to Stephen Foster) “Masa’s in de Cold, Cold Ground.”
ReplyDeleteWhat are the Yankees feeding this Voit kid??
ReplyDeleteGET. TANAKA. Off. THE. MOUND. NOW!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHearing John on WEEI was a surprising pleasure... but I wasn’t surprised when he almost said WFAN :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad others got to hear the Master sing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Redstockings, for the three consecutive walks. It sure raised the impact of Giancarlo’s HR.
ReplyDeleteTHEY CAN’T BEAT US AT HOME!
GIANCARLO!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOk, a John Sterling grand slam call on WEEI is a fabulous humiliation for a team that was dying to clinch in NYC.
ReplyDeleteWhy is The Master on WEEI? Shouldn't he be on WFAN?
ReplyDeleteThe RiverWalk in Riverdale Hebrew Home that we’ve all visited and agree is like a college campus (except, presumably, less casual sex) sponsored a “Rivalry in the Booth”. John swapped with Joe Castiglione for the inning... and it was really good timing.
ReplyDeleteThat is absolutely ridiculous. Did he do the crazy Italian home run call?
ReplyDeleteAnd I missed it! I was trying to get the radio feed through the intermittent WiFi at the hotel.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the daily perfusion of cocktails, beer, sake and wine may have had more to do with that than the WiFi.
He did it all. It was all just... sooooo... pleasurable.
ReplyDeleteIf we lose this game, will it not be the third consecutive game in which we hit a grand slam and lose? Has this ever happened before--to the Yankees, at least?
ReplyDeleteFucking Betances. I mean, fucking fuckheaded fuckwad.
ReplyDeleteHey, Warblist--are you at a tranny convention? Have you got your sexual identity figured out yet? Please send photos--everyone is dying to behold the spectacle of an old-fart mediocre male doctor in garters and pantyhose.
ReplyDeletePuckered! We missed you!! How is your lonely ineffectual life treating you? The fact that you are a transphobic twat is hardly surprising. Have you ever done anything worthwhile? Ever? Even once?
ReplyDeleteJohn M, couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteUgh we’re gonna lose this game.
ReplyDeleteChapman? Wtf?
ReplyDeleteWOW did he fuck that up! An evening of assholeism on display. Why the fuck they use Chapman, Betances, and even Masa when he is struggling defies all reason.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna watch a movie now. Maybe something by Ingmar Bergman which will make me suicidal. "Cries and Whisper?" Oh - wait - that was the subtitle of tonight's game.
You know what? Let the Red Sox celebrate at Yankee Stadium, in front of this slack-jawed team and front office, who deserve to be humiliated and embarrassed. Let them listen to the few hundred Boston fans in the stands chant “Yankees Suck” right there in in the Bronx and maybe it’ll finally get through to the whole flaccid lot of them that disinterested fielding, one-dimensional approaches to hitting, and too many ice cream sandwiches aren’t the route to a championship. After all, Boone and Rothschild sure as hell aren’t going to do anything to help.
ReplyDeleteI meant to say Assholeism on Parade.
ReplyDeleteHuge mismanagement tonight. Even more than usual. Old George would've fired Bonehead Boone and Larry the Loser months ago.
ReplyDeleteAnd now, to complete tonight's meal of a Shit Sandwich, a side of Cole slaw.
ReplyDeleteAnd a helping of Tar Baby.
ReplyDeleteBeauregard, apparently there is actually an amazingly high level of STDs in old-age homes.
ReplyDeleteAustria, try "The Seventh Seal." There are leavening moments of humor. And start with "De Duva," A hilarious send-up of all things Bergman, which features a young Madeleine Kahn.
Herr Clarke, I know "De Duva" since it was first released in - what - the 1970s? I also love Kahn's Weill/Brecht parody, "Das Chicago Song" from, I believe, "New Faces of 1967"
ReplyDeleteIn old Chicago
By the sea
We tangoed the night away
In a whisky bar
Don't ask why...
And you broke my jaw
With a single punch
And you took my chair
And you ate my lunch
Austria, I did not know about that. It sounds fantastic, I will look for it.
ReplyDeleteThere was someone who died much too soon.
I learned tonight Aaron Boone might be the worst manager in baseball, but he's not the worst coach in New York. Todd Bowles, take a bow. You've earned it my friend.
ReplyDelete"The process" struck again....God why boone this guy goes .25 steps forward and 125 steps backward
ReplyDeleteLooks like Fellin showed up last night not Dellin.
ReplyDeleteSehr geehrter Herr Clark, I was off by a year: it was “New Faces of '68.” And you can find the original (and best) rendition of “Das Chicago Song” here:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-cjaYShjO0
I think we need to find a way to communicate on non-baseball topics and avoid clogging up the clear linear narrative that is IIHIIFIIG. My work requires that I maintain a public e-mail address. Let me know if you wish to get in touch and I will post it here (or you can ask El Duque for it).
Tschüß!
Madeline Kahn went to my Alma mater, Hofstra U. So did James Caan. Genghis Khan, no.
ReplyDeleteThis is obvious, but they beat us at home.
Yes. True. But who celebrates winning a division title?
ReplyDeleteWinning the division means you've won absolutely nothing.
ReplyDeleteAustria, there's a clear narrative here? :)
ReplyDeleteBut yes, thanks, I found it, too, and she was great, as always.
Be happy to be in touch off-site, though; I guess we could arrange that through our kind and indulgent hosts?
Warbler, I hate to ever differ with you, but in some ways winning the regular season is the greater prize. It reflects the greater accomplishment, playing this well over the long season—especially when you have the best record in the major leagues.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just have to tip your cap and call the Red Sox your daddy. Especially when they really don't have all that better a team than we do, but ran away with it.
Or maybe more accurately: sometimes you just have to tip your cap and call ourselves a bunch of punks.
Toonces was certainly not what we needed last night, but I'm not sure why he is getting most of the blame here.
ReplyDeleteHe came in with the score already tied and a man on first, gave up a double to a very good hitter, then an intentional walk, and then a sac fly that scored two runs because of an error.
I didn't see it, but that hardly sounds like it was more of a contribution to our loss than:
—Tanaka's worst start in weeks.
—Chad Green's gopher ball (due in part to Ma trying to get two innings out of him)
—The wonderful decision of Ma to bring Chappie in for his comeback debut with the game still on the line.
—The hitters managing zero runs and exactly two hits after the fourth inning, against their less-than-stellar bullpen.
That was a team effort out their last night—or shall I say, non-effort? Exactly the sort of sloppy, intermittently engaged play that cost us the division title, and will doom us in the playoffs.
Found this sort of interesting....
ReplyDeletehttp://www.espn.com/mlb/stats/team/_/stat/fielding
Thought they had more than 83 team errors this year...figured they would be near the bottom.
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