They enter today's game as the power-wielding lineup since Attila the Hun, and the Hunster never had to replace a key warrior with Shane Robinson. By almost any measurement, the 2018 Yankees should be rousing fan erections until the oceans rise; we welcomed Miggy and Gleyber, discovered Luke Voit, watched in awe as Didi Gregorius achieved Monument Park status... we won 100 games.
And yet, here we are... one bad Wednesday night from shooting up the flat-screen... one sour inning, one Betances horror show, from crushing everything hopeful that happened in the last 12 months. Much of this is because the Redsocks won the division without a beer fart in the hot tub. But there is something else.
We suffer from Ohio State Traumatic Loss Syndrome.
Every year, Ohio State chases the college football national championship. In a bad, terrible, very no-good season - a year when the coach's house gets painted with feces - the Buckeyes might lose three. Most teams would celebrate a 9-3 season. For Ohio State, it is a personal insult and cause for tar and feathers.
We had our hopes raised last October. Over the winter, we looked at the addition of the National League's MVP to a team that came within a hit of reaching the World Series, and we saw the first in a string of championships. And then we couldn't even win the measly division.
It's amazing, how painful this team could be. Some losses came with Biblical proportions - thinking of our last visit to Fenway. At times, John and Suzyn have never reached their limit of human suffering, unable to handle the Yankees' inability to plate a runner. Those 60 losses will haunt them forever, as they will all of us.
On Wednesday, we will field "the greatest home run hitting lineup in history."
On Thursday, that phrase might be used to mock us.
It's the calm before the storm, folks. But make no mistake: Our fight today might look like Boston, but it's not the Redsocks we need to beat. Everything is Oakland now. Everything is Oakland. Everything is Wednesday, and everything is Oakland.
You echoed what I was telling a friend last night - yes, 100 wins, but it was the way we lost those 60 that put a permanent footprint on my psyche. What did the immortal James Marshall Hendrix say? "Tire tracks all across my back. I can see you've had your fun."
ReplyDeleteAnyway, no use crying over spilled urine samples or bottles of PEDs. We are here. Did we beat Boston's best? Does it matter? As you said, it's all about that one game with Oakland now. Of course, that's the one thing we did not want to have happen, but baseball is a funny thing and now we're grateful to still be "in it."
I am battling a cold that came out of nowhere, so the bacterial gods have decided to give me another lesson in patience and perspective. My gratitude list today runs along the lines of "Grateful the little pup is doing well. (remember when he wasn't house trained yet?), grateful they didn't sell corporate naming rights to the new stadium (they did remind us of what a financial hit that was, remember that, too? My god, the sacrifices they make for us, those Yankees), grateful for vegan hotdogs I can eat during the game (and you snarkies can suck my lacto-pescatrian scrotum if you have a problem with that.), grateful it's a lovely day in NYC, grateful the Master still walks among us, along with his Broadcast Bride, Lady Suzyn, grateful for Ice Cream Sandwiches, as he has reminded me that we still have rebuilding to do.
Wow, that made me feel better. I could go on, but I'm going to lie down. What do they say, feed a fever, kick a cold in the ass? I don't remember. I'm a little fuzzy. Got my first moving violation in years the other night and I'm blaming it on the fuzzy cold-itude. Soon, the winter will be upon us, no matter what plays out over the next few days, and we will only have memories of this season to rehash endlessly. Let us enjoy the moment, my brothers and sisters.
Tonight is getting through the atrocious ESPN broadcast.
ReplyDeleteSo endeth the JuJu.
Well said, 13bit. This is why we adore you.
ReplyDeleteHow about these, 13bit?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/fish-hot-dogs-recipe
http://www.salmonfranks.com/
https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/jeff-mauro/fish-dog-recipe-2078619
http://www.grubstreet.com/2012/08/mitsuwa-fish-hot-dog.html
Your lacto-pescatrian scrotum is safe with us. Especially Rufus. Oh the things Rufus has said about scrotums in general, and your fishy one in particular!! Quite the scallywag, our Rufus!!
I GUESS MAKING HAPP OUR WEDNESDAY STARTER MAKES THE MOST SENSE.
ReplyDeleteEVERY TIME HE PITCHED (EXCEPT ONCE), HE WAS ON AUTOMATIC PILOT...
....AND WE SEEM TO HIT FOR HIM TOO.
IT'S A 1 GAME SEASON, SO WE NEED TO HAVE QUICK HOOKS, AND THAT MEANS FOR ANYONE IN ANY INNING.
IF WE SEE HOLDER, COLE OR KAHNLE THIS GAME, WE MAY BE FUCKED.
BOTTOM LINE, WE HAVE TO HIT.
CAN'T HAVE ANY OF THIS, 6TH INNING, 2 HIT SHIT.
WE NEED TO BE AGGRESSIVE RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE, THROUGHOUT.
LETS SAY OUR PRAYERS, DO OUR TRAINING, AND TAKE OUR VITAMINS. (HULK HOGAN).
GO YANKS.
ATTACK!
Beautifully written 13bit, and I'll partake in a vegan frank with you any damn day!
ReplyDeleteIf we get past the As, what scared me was how a 5 run lead was never safe against the Sux in the 9th, when they were playing at 20%. I guess let's hope we have that problem to face,,,,,
I love you all!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the love and recipes recipes, WW.
ReplyDelete13bit, get well soon.
ReplyDeleteTWW, you are correct on the awfulness of Sunday Everything Sockian Promotional Network broadcasts and most likely regarding me being a scalawag (even though I prefer the term rapscallion). However, you are gravely mistaken regarding my chordate references.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if the Yankees will beat the Athletics.
I don't know if, should they get by the Oaks, they'll even win one game vs. Boston.
However: Should they actually win 4 of the 6 playoff games, and eliminate Boston, this season will be worthwhile.......at least, for me.
Yeah, I know -- if they wash out the Sox, there will still be games to play. I want them to win those, too.
But beating Boston -- when it counts -- that would be something!
It is "feed a cold, drown a fever." meaning drink a lot if you have higher than 98.6% temperature.
ReplyDeleteI presume they mean water. But beer is mostly water anyway, so....
I know this phrase because my mother grew up with Norwegian farmers ( cherry orchard), who lived by the Sears catalog the farmer's almanac, and told time by looking at the side of a tree where the moss was growing.
Anyway, these medical cures were plastered all over my grandmother's house in the form of knitted and framed reminders.
There is word for them, but I have no fucking idea.
Doilies made of thick, multi-colored thread comes to mind.
So get better.
If we beat Oakland we should all eat a fucking vegan hot dog.
But I won't do it until I see El Duque do it as well.
I ate tuna hot dogs as a kid going to a mainly Jewish summer camp, where my father was a summer camp counselor. They would have cookouts on Fridays, the day a good Catholic boy could not eat meat. So they served my brothers and me tuna hot dogs. They were, as I recall, edible, but I don't recall enjoying them all that much. There was not a single condiment that went well with them. They were a great curiosity to the Jewish kids in the camp.
ReplyDeleteI will be on pins and needles Wednesday. It could go either way. We will have to hit our way to victory. The better bullpen that night will win. This Jekyll/Hyde of a season has driven me crazy. I do not completely trust this team, and I particularly don't trust the manager. I will be rooting for them regardless. What else can a lifelong fan do?
PS - Why doesn't the back page of Newsday get any love on this site? What's up with that? Inquiring minds, and all that.
ReplyDeleteI used to love Newsday when I was going to school on Long Island back in the 70s, and again when they had a New York City edition in the 80s, since discontinued. Good paper.
ReplyDelete13bit, I have a question. Why do vegans eat vegan versions of meat items? I mean, it seems like the desire to eat meat is still there, so people trick themselves into not eating it by eating something that approximates the look, feel, and taste of it. Isn't that kind of...I don't know, self-defeating in a way? I mean, if you don't want to eat meat, or think it's bad for you or for animals or for the planet, sure, I get that. But if that's true, why eat pretend meat? Why not eat veggies and grains that are veggies and grains, without camouflage?
Something about it makes my head spin, is all. I wonder if they can make things that look and taste like vegetables out of meat? Bacon broccoli comes to mind. Pepperoni peppers, maybe. How about beef fish sticks?
As for Wednesday, the scuttlebutt seems to be that Sevvy is going to start, which could be a disaster with Aaron "Slow Hook" Boone at the controls. And why Sevvy would be the choice is mind-bogglingly unfathomable when you have Happ.
I get the feeling that we're going home after Wednesday for the same reason, or one of the main reasons, we ended up in second place to begin with--bad managing. Which is something you can survive, but not when you combine it with bad coaching, bad front officeing, and bad ownering. Plus a poopload of injuries and disappointing individual seasons.
And I think if you're desperate enough to eat a fish hot dog, just eat a fish taco. What the heck. They're great.
So Larry Rothchild went out there and told Sheffield to throw strikes, and JD promptly went out and hammered a 3-run dinger for the Sux. Great pitch coaching. Game #162 is effectively over. Time to catch up with the NL action and wait until Wednesday. It's clearly Bad Yankees Day at Fenway. Going into Wed. after a game like this does not bode well.
ReplyDeleteWell, Duque, your advice that "We must not get caught up with winning today's game" is being taken seriously. 10 runs on 10 hots. Very seriously. I think it's time to switch over to some USA news which seems to only be about your serial rapist nominee for the SCROTUM (odd name for a court).
ReplyDeleteI generally avoid the fake meat products and limit my strict vegan diet to fresh vegetables and fruit and whole grains, although you can get vegan Wiener Schnitzel almost everywhere, and Bratwurst, steaks, and of course burgers. Once, when taken out to a trendy vegan joint where everything on the menu was masquerading as something it wasn't, I had a "shrimp" and avocado salad that looked great and tasted like cardboard. So! Curried lentils and smoked tofu for dinner tonight.
Gute Besserung to 13bit, and I'll see the rest of you on Wednesday.
Pfiat di! Ciao baba!
Check out the menu from Swing Kitchen (they play 1940s big band music), my favorite vegan fast-food joint: https://www.swingkitchen.com/
ReplyDeleteI recommend watching the documentary "14 Games" on Sports Illustrated TV while we wait for the play-in game. It covers territory we are mostly quite familiar with, but the story never gets old, especially not coming straight from the horses' mouths. A trial subscription may be required, but it will be well worth it.
ReplyDeleteRapscallionit shall it be Rufus.
ReplyDelete"Reverting to form," he thought, as he ate his gnocchi with ricotta and a dash of tomato sauce. "Reverting to form," as he slurped up the white bean and escarole soup, washed down with some watermelon juice. The cold seemed to be slowly releasing its grip on him - between bouts of a dry, painful cough and phlegm-filled tissues. Something was beginning to crack in the bacterial wall on his southern border. "Tear down this wall, Mr Calabash, or I'll have the Mexicans pay for a new one."
ReplyDelete"Reverting to form" he muttered again to himself, as another voice - and he could not tell if it was the half-full glass of hope voice or the inner "you're fucked forever" voice - said "maybe you should just focus on how they took the series. Are you a greedy asshole who somehow expected to sweep, especially after the shit show season this club just put up?" "Learn to be grateful, you greedy bastard." That's what his inner Jim Kaat was mumbling in his ear as he finished the soup, wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and prepared to lie on the couch, where he was all day, and hope his move would not drive the dog onto the floor.
"We all know what they are capable of," he told himself. Or was it someone else uttering those words. Had the Gammonites finally succeeded in activating that device in his head, the one that he KNEW they implanted last winter during the hot stove times, when he was distracted by the idea of "The 2018 Season of Destiny?" We'll never know. All he could tell himself was to wait for the big game. The only game. The "season in a game" game, just like the computer industry's "computer on a chip" chip. He could only wait and wonder, slowly scratching at his scrotum as the long minutes ticked towards destiny. "At least we have home field advantage," he thought, and breathed a huge sigh of relief.
"Oh shit......"
John M, in response to your question about vegans and meat analogs, I don't know. I was a vegan for two years back in the 90s. I won't go into the boring details, but let me say this, and I'm not bullshitting you: it almost ruined my health AND my feet. (Vegan shoes suck), AND I did NOT get laid. I might have gotten some action, but it was in SPITE of that vegan thing. It's cheese that brought me back into the fold. For most vegans, it's bacon that is the slippery slope to tripe and sweetbreads, but in my case, it was cheese. HOW DID I LIVE WITHOUT PIZZA FOR TWO YEARS??? What kind of a self-loathing schmuck does that to himself? More answers - or not - in some future episode.
ReplyDeleteLooks like most of our pitchers got lit up like a Christmas tree...
ReplyDeleteLadies and Germs,
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of gloating, I'd like to remind everyone that I picked the Yankees for 64 wins (in hexadecimal, which translates to 100 for those with only ten fingers).
I also predicted that "A lugnut not currently on the roster will start 10+ games at first." -- Hello Mr. Voit!
However, or should I say HOWEVER!? I also predicted:
"
Sonny Gray leads the team in wins.
Sanchez has a season that should win him the mvp, but is robbed by anti-Yankee bias in the voting.
There is at least one DL stint for an injury incurred in a Yankees/Racist Townie Asshole bench clearing brawl.
Neither Torres nor Andujar will start 30 MLB games this year.
"
None of which were even remotely true, though there was a bench clearing brawl -- and the sun came up in the east this morning.
So I guess that proves the adage about the blind squirrel.
http://johnsterling.blogspot.com/2018/03/write-this-down-96-yankee-wins-return.html
Rufus, thanks for the link. I was wondering what I had said way back in the pre-AnDUjar days, and now I know I predicted only 87 wins. Not so hot. But Urban Farmer, the great Dutch fan, was pretty damn good:
ReplyDeleteMarch 28, 2018 at 9:46 AM
Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...
"91 wins; I am sorry. And the Socks win the division.
Bird will get to about 61 games.
Judge and Stanton will not be performing like last year.
No ability to win games won "small ball" style.
Tanaka, Sabathia and at least 2 relievers will be spending considerable time on the DL.
Chapman and Betances. Really?
It will come down to the traditional 1 game post-season play-off lottery. Home advantage.
And that will be it.
All in all I feel quite optimistic."
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