If it's true that Bryce Harper can play first base, the Yankees must jump into the bidding

Over the centuries, we've seen enough of "super-agent" Scott Boras' to know that his greatest skill is polishing turds until they look like freshly mined nuggets of gold. But sometimes - such as in his warnings this week that the greatest threat to baseball are greedy owners who purposely tank their teams - the turds carry weight. And today, the Yankees should carefully consider another Boras claim that is making the rounds: 

That Bryce Harper can and will play first base.

Like the hosts of Fox & Friends, Boras was addressing the world but targeting only one man, a millionaire at birth whose ascension to power defies the norms of both morality and Darwinism. Of course, he was speaking directly to Hand-Me-Down Hal Steinbrenner, who is clutching the purse strings on not only the 2019 Yankees... but the long-term future of the franchise.

All that is happening - the lifetime "Mr. Congeniality" contracts to Brett Gardner and CC Sabathia - revolves around Hal's willingness to spend money this winter. The Yankees stand as the only team capable of beating Boston in the 2019 AL East, but not if the Redsocks continue to spend nearly $40 million more on annual payroll. Hal can talk about frugality until the turd looks like chunks blown from King Midas, but it will still stink. Without a sizable spending surge this winter, the Yankees next summer will be contending for the Wild Card, while Boston chases its place in history. 

The Redsocks have built a team and system capable of winning two or three straight championships, creating a dynasty that will never be topped in our lifetimes. I want you all to think about that. If Boston goes on a three- or four-year roll, we will go to our graves as also-ran chumps, punching bags and punch lines to Boston's magnificence... 

Which brings me to Bryce Harper.

If it's true that he can play first base - (and here, I defer to the scouts, who know more than I) - then Boras' turds words must be met with keen interest. Supposedly, Harper always wanted to play for the Yankees. Maybe this is just Boras stirring the pot, trying to rouse another bidder. But at 1B, Harper represents a perfect fit for the Yankees. He is a lefty masher, a hard-edged player, who would immediately give us a Big Three in the lineup - (actually, a big four, if you consider Miguel Andujar). If we think about it, he's a better long range fit than Manny Machado.

Even if we even choose to ignore Machado's dirty play and lack of hustle - (of which he, amazingly, seems proud to acknowledge; how stupid is that?), there is a serious question about how he would fit into the long term Yankee plans. Yes, he'll fill the immediate void left by Didi Gregorius' injury. But when Didi returns, what then? Does Manny move to third, knocking Andujar to the outfield or - gulp - first base? And who is our big lefty threat? Gardy? Ellsbury? Luke Voit? Seriously, folks, on a long-term basis, Manny makes no sense.

But if Harper can play first, the Yankees can find a stopgap SS-2B until Didi returns - there are several candidates - and slot Harper into a position where he is likely to eventually end up, anyway. If Harper devotes himself to the position, he could play there into his late thirties and cut wear-and-tear on his body. 

The key here is that Food Stamps Hal needs to open his precious fanny pack. The Yankees seem to be pooh-pooing Boras' claim, conveniently suggesting there is nothing there. This is no time to be cheap. 2019 will be the final year of a decade in which the Yankees never even played in a world series, the first time that's happened since they were called the Yankees. If Hal wants to save nickels, he should annex the team's bottle deposits concession. 

If Bryce Harper wants to be a New York Yankee, and he's willing to make a full-spirited change to first base, we better take it seriously. And Hal needs to SPEND SOME FUCKING MONEY.