That is, they will dismiss the horrors of last year, and the need to rebuild via youth, and plan to win the Super Bowl with a cast of aging, tired, former stars. Hey, can Eli Manning pitch? Could Carmelo Anthony maybe play SS? Is Emerson Boozer still around?
Wow. That 2019 Mets lineup is looking scary, in a Jurassic Park mad scientist's laboratory kind of way. I'm seeing geriatric, DNA-altered marvels of medicine, such as the Toddfather at third, Humanis Centepedes in the OF, and the Jettisoned Jogger himself, posing like a stegasaurus at 2B. Has any National League team ever looked more stocked at the DH position?
But wait, there is one final component to this re-enactment of the Disney Dinosaur Apple Dumpling gang franchise: God's DH, Tim Tebow! He needs to play somewhere, anywhere. Maybe he can be levitated above the outfield, moving with the over-shifts!
Thus, to counter the popularity of Aaron Judge and whatever bookend the Yankees supply - (it's probably Giancarlo, but we can still dream, can't we?) the Mets will trot out Joggy for the next five years. Wow. Cooperstown Cashman won't be sleeping tonight. You can already pencil the guy in for 80 games, assuming his blood-work analysis doesn't glow in the dark. And the Mets know they've got a player who has taken care of himself.
By dogging it on all those infield grounders, Joggy has probably added another season to his career. The question, of course, is whether he can bend over. I still remember the last game of the 2008 season, when he didn't bother to bend over for a slow roller into right field, which eliminated the Yankees from post-season contention. Who knows? By not bending over that day, maybe he's added another year to his career! He'll be around longer than Supreme Court Judge "Pabst" Kavanaugh.
According to the Internet, the Mets will trade two former first round picks - now viewed as their fourth and fifth rated prospects - plus a couple salary dumps. This appears to be one of those deals that looks great in April and horrifying in August. If so, once again, the Yankees have New York City handed to them on a silver platter. Which means that Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner can sit on his fanny pack. This morning's NY Post suggests Boston will sign both David Robertson and Zach Britton. Who cares? It doesn't take much to be the best sports team in New York City. Hey, is Gump Worsley still alive?
"That is, they will dismiss the horrors of last year, and the need to rebuild via youth, and plan to win the Super Bowl with a cast of aging, tired, former stars."
ReplyDeleteHasn't that been the mantra of the Yanks for like...forever? And when they did do a rebuild, it was a mini one which later on just about everyone was traded off for some magic beans.
I still think they should have had a fire sale on Cano because he so iffy about resigning. He had a ton of value but we thought he would be a Yank for life and kept him. And it should have been done right before Granderson got himself injured and useless to his team in any way.
That year it was plainly obvious that they should have sold off everything that wasn't nailed down but for some crazy reason they thought that they could still contend when it was plainly obvious they couldn't. They made decisions which hurt the team for years. We probably would have won the last two World Series if had we had a proper sell off in 2013.
As for the Mets, they were always rather stupid much like how the O's are really stupid with their team, but hey, if it means Cano won't be coming back here I'm all for it. They won't trade with us, so there is no way Cano will ever be a Yank again.
I just hope that they won't pawn him off on the Reds for next to nothing and them him going back our way for one last hurrah to celebrate an obvious Hall of Fame career. He'll certainly go in now as a Yank, and his drug suspension won't matter as Clemens and Bonds will be in there for 14 years by the time they do vote him in on his last year of eligibility.
I heard Steve Zungle and Branko Segoda are looking for work as well.
ReplyDeleteDoug K.
To save anyone who wants to know who they were the time:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/mar/04/steve-zungul-indoor-soccer-record-books
I can't begin to tell you how great this guy (Actually both of them), were.
Doug K.
Emerson Boozer had a lot of heart.
ReplyDeleteI ... I ... huh, wha?
ReplyDeleteHow much whiskey are they shipping to Queens??
ReplyDeleteDevastating, Duque. A fine piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteAlas, poor Mets. They are the gang who couldn't shoot straight even more than the Yankees.
ReplyDeleteAnd we're really bad.
Duque,
ReplyDeleteYour essay gives me fear.
What if someone working for the Mets reads it?
What if they " wake up " and cancel the deal?
Gentleman Jack is what I am drinking.
ReplyDeleteMets get Cano? Evil Sox get Britton? How can the news get any better?
Gump Worsley! I love it!
ReplyDeleteYeah. we're entering a period of NYC sports meltdown that will make 1966 look like a picnic.
Wait, so let me get this straight: the Red Sox are waiting until useful lugnuts are available as free agents, seeing what they draw on the market, and then signing them for as little money as they can and not giving up any players...
ReplyDeleteTHAT IS SO TYPICALLY EVIL!!!
Don't they know that you always wait until you're in desperate straits, and then trade all of your best prospects for middle relievers?
Those damned Red Sox! They just won't play ball!
This is so sadly stupid...
ReplyDeleteWilpons wil be Wilpons...they are, after all, NY real-estate people. At least they don't seem to have anything against the NFL (like some other NY real-estate maggots).
ReplyDeleteBad on us, if we let the New Evils sign Zach Britton! We'll be cursed for years (even more than we already have been). LB (No J)
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