Heading into Memorial Day weekend - the MLB mud-run's traditional first bog - our "fully operational Death Star" has the game's second best record, below only the Minnesota (tick, tick, tick) Twins.
We have succeeded despite an avalanche of gonadal tweaks that would have neutered most teams, with a Frankensteined lineup that has become talk (or "Tauch," in the case of Mike Tauchman) of the Gammonites.
As unrelentingly angry Yankee fans, we face a thorny dilemma: Should we maintain our furious venom, like cows chewing a bitter cud, or should we bow to a sinister force that has plagued us since the dawn of this millennium:
Comrades: For better or worse, I am doffing my cap.
Let us now praise the man behind our joy and success: Mr. Brian McGuire Cashman, the pride of Rockville Center, NY... yes, Cooperstown Cashman... THE KING OF THE NORTH! THE KING OF THE NORTH! THE KING OF THE NORTH!
I know, I know... after all the squawking, all the miscues - (Pavano, Igawa, Hafner, Vazquez I and II) - a near decade of ring-less despair, while the big-spending Redsocks replaced us on the food chain... today, it cannot be denied: Everywhere you look, Cashman's handiwork has saved this team. For example, the lineup:
1B. Luke Voit, a career minor leaguer snatched from St. Louis.
2B. DJ LeMahieu, a middling-but-strategic free agent.
SS. Gleyber Torres, stolen from the Cubs in the El Chapo switcheroo.
3B. Gio Urshella, picked from the scrap heap.
LF. Brett Gardner, re-signed as a legacy.
CF. Aaron Hicks, stolen from Minnesota for JR Murphy.
RF. Clint Frazier, received for Andrew Miller.
C. Gary Sanchez, signed at age 16, home-grown.
The roster is smeared with Cashmanic DNA. Consider the overlooked 2015 trade of LH reliever Justin Wilson to Detroit: for Chad Green and Luis Cessa. Green is a valued lug nut, Cessa a working sprocket. A great deal, no matter how you slice it. Or the trade for Ser Didi Gregorius (even though we gave up Shane Green, I'll take it.)
On this blog, we regularly condemn Cashman. When it sorcery works, we must acknowledge it.
Let's not ignore that this has been perhaps the most barren decade in Yankee history. But thus far in 2019, his record of trades and pick-ups is no less than astonishing. The only off-season clunker - thus far - seems to be banishing Sonny Gray to Cincinnati; he's pitching well (ERA: 3.78), and the kids we received in return are too far away to evaluate.
Particularly, Cashman's brilliance has been in finding scrap yard tools. Cameron Maybin is everything we'd want in a 25th man. Tauchman hit some big home runs for us. Urshela might just be our long-term 3B. We got them for next to nothing. If we cannot praise his role in this season's success, we cannot truly enjoy this team... which would be a shame.
But but BUT... in the late innings yesterday, the YES wonks flashed an interesting stat: The Yankees' 2019 record matches that of last year's team at this time. You could say it's deja vu, all over again.
Boston is six behind in the loss column. They are streaking, and we are running out of games against Baltimore. (We still have a full allotment against Toronto (20-30), though they might improve in the second half. The O's, on the other hand, are going nowhere.)
We have beaten the Tomato Cans. By the end of this weekend, we could have the best record in baseball... with Didi Gregorius, Dellin Betances, Luis Severino, Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton yet to be heard from. Mr. Cashman, take a bow. KING OF THE NORTH! ALL HAIL THE KING OF THE NORTH!
All hail, King of locker C-18!
ReplyDeleteI can only hope this is an attempt at triple reverse Juju. Or double secret probation. Otherwise, Heelllllooo, 10 game losing streak!
I wonder if the Yanks will reach 104 wins as I predicted? LOL Seems more likely now than a month ago. But really all of last year was mired by an insane Red Sox team that really couldn't be beat. Despite all of the teams flaws, we had a really strong team as well.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the Yanks without their stars doesn't seem like they are going to coast and blow off tons of games, as per their normal. It's like we have a team of hungry players who are actually trying rather than fat bloated millionaires who doesn't seem to care. I like it, and the games are interesting again.
And while we are on stars, any thoughts about which healthy Yanks, if any, will be on the All-Star Team this year? I'm thinking none of them will really get any voter's interest as they'll only notice the obvious super-stars rather than any of the try-hard but relatively unknown Yanks. It's like trying to pick a best player from the Marlins almost as most fans cannot even name a player from the Marlins.
ReplyDeleteThe only off-season clunker - thus far - seems to be banishing Sonny Gray to Cincinnati; he's pitching well (ERA: 3.78)
I'm not even sure this was a clunker insofar as there was NO way Gray was going to have a 3.78 ERA pitching for the Yanks. Gray's arm is fine. His problem is between his ears.
Vampifella, I'm sticking with my 100 win prediction.
ReplyDeleteLBJ, Gray is a classic addition by subtraction. His whiny little bitch persona being removed from the locker room HAS to be a big improvement. I really wanted him to be a star for the Yankees, but now I'm really glad he's gone.
We have the same record as last year at this time, and we look unbeatable -- if you ignore the quality, or lack thereof, of our recent opponents -- same as several recent seasons in May and June. Fact is, the house of discards has collapsed several times under the pressure of gentle summer breezes. Too early to present Cashman with any awards. Nice job getting us here, but the journey is less than half way, and we ain't there yet.
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ReplyDeleteLast year will go down in history as a 100-win success, but if you watched the games, it was far less successful. We had a great couple of months and then bumbled our way forward, in comparison. Severino is the poster boy for the bifurcated season.
ReplyDeleteSure, our record did improve overall in the second half, but we weren't the streaking comet of the Spring and early Summer. The intangibles, the vibe, were decidedly different. And near the end, when we had the Sox in our crosshairs, we shat the bed. And it was especially terrible after that amazing start to the season.
So, no, I'm not ready to buy Cashman a $10 cigar quite yet. His A team is still half on the IL, and that's the team he wants on the field, not these rising maybe stars. And the A team is the one that soured last year's brilliant start for me. The big thing in my opinion...for whatever that's worth...is that while he acquired a group of interesting kids and castoffs, he wouldn't have played the first or signed the second unless he had to. DJ would have been our utility guy, Frazier, Urshela, and Estrada in Scranton, Bird platooning with Voit, Mayvin and Tauchman still in other teams' minor league systems.
I'll give Cash marks for building depth, which maybe is the same as the current success, and pulling rabbits out of his hat when pressed. But ask me in August and September. I'm still a little skeptical.
And another thing ... what kind of managerial genius does not put the two hottest hitter in the universe in the lineup yesterday? Torres and Sanchez needed to sit? Is this some type of unwritten baseball mercy rule? WTF!
ReplyDeleteI was also one of the overly optimistic Yankee win prognosticators at 104. And based on logic it seemed close to achieving. Time will tell. I was also one of the few enthusiastic Lemahieu supporters. I don't know where all the hopefulness originates from when it concerns NY sports teams, especially the Yankees with Cashman as GM.
ReplyDeleteBut, as Duque states, we have to give him credit. He must be on one hell of a lucky streak in which case he should spend his free time at Mohegan Sun or Foxwoods. Perhaps he has sold his soul to the Juju gods. I just hope I'm long gone before they decide to cash him out.
How about this.
ReplyDeleteWe praise Cashman for the above (totally deserved) while remaining cognizant that Bryce Harper is better than Brett Gardner and that we have a Patrick Corbin sized hole in out rotation (Now missing CC, Paxton, and Happ's talent.)
Given Hal's cheapness he's done a very good job so far.
Doug K.
I thoroughly agree with JM...I feel like Cashman does very well patching together replacements for injured stars and spinning longshot scrapheap reclamations into Aaron Smalls. He either really can find talent where other teams have overlooked it, or he gets exceedingly lucky time and again...but ONLY in crisis situations. If everything goes the way he planned it to begin with, his roster staggers through the season and exits the playoffs without a whimper, year after year, continually contending its way into mediocrity while he makes trade after trade to secure yesterday's stars. He needs injuries and the constraints of a small payroll to save him from his own plan. He would be a fantastic GM for a small market team, but seems hopeless at the helm of the Death Star. I'm sure we'll look back nostalgically at Brian's tenure when Hal replaces him with a twenty-three year old accountancy graduate in 2028, but his talents are perfectly balanced by his flaws.
ReplyDelete(That said, I'm a big believer in credit where credit is due, and El Duque is right to acknowledge that this overachieving B team is also Cashman's creation!)
ReplyDelete"Responsible for our great"? Warplist, you're drunk. Or is it the amyl nitrate you guzzle while watching gay porn videos?
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the comments above about how Coops would never have taken the right path if not for the injuries.
ReplyDeleteBUT...
One has to give credit for reacting to the world as it is. And I'm always for giving props where they are due.
So, to paraphrase the great English white supremacist poet of the turn-of-the-century:
"Though I've beaten ya and flayed ya
By the living God that made ya
You're a better man than I am Brian Coops..."
At least, that is, until he deals Frazier and Thairo for Bumgarner...
Parson Tom, I was thinking the same thing. But I think it was some sort of quietly imposed league handicap, or maybe a circus stunt to increase attendance.
ReplyDeleteIf there had been a fifth game in the series, the Yanks were planning to have their starter stand on his head while delivering each pitch. I think we still would have won...
Hate the idea of Green as "opener" tonight, too.
ReplyDeleteI hate the whole idea of "openers" period—why not give Chance Adams another look? But if you're going to do it, why not start with Hale, who only regrets that he has but three innings to give for the life of his team?
All we are saying...is give Chance a chance!
The Toronto Raptors are the KINGS OF THE NORTH.
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ReplyDeleteCorrection:
ReplyDeleteThe person most responsible for our great start is Mr Balti M. Orioles.
Sorry about that. I was typing on my phone and dropped a few characters.
Give chance a Chance. [nods sagely]
ReplyDeleteFuckers!
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