I see a red door and I want it painted black. no colors anymore, I want them to turn back. I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes. I see a line of cars and they're all painted black. with flowers and my love both never to come back I see people turn their heads and quickly look away. like a newborn baby it just happens every day. I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door and must have it pained black. maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts. it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black.
I'm on the New York state Thruway heading home from visiting one of the spawn who is now a freshman at U of Vermont. All I have is MLB gameday and all of you. It is sufficient.
I never had the urge to have a kid. My wife is the same. We find the desire to be a parent kind of mysterious and strange. Even though statistically, we're the strange ones.
I never had the urge to have a kid. My wife is the same.
This means when you're both retired and in your dotage, the only person who will come visit you at Hebrew Home at Riverdale will be John Sterling. He's been there; it's like a college campus.
Winnie, Groovy Uvie brings back memories. Sort of hazy memories.
I can fortunately listen to the Master and Suzyn and don't have to list to that ahole smuckz. He must be positively palpitating about the Yankees cleaning up. Winner of ONE world series.
Warbler, I take it that you are referring to Smoltz's inane ramblings about Babe Ruth. And I agree.
For those of you who missed it, Smoltz was asked a teasing question about how he would have fared against Babe Ruth. He replied that he didn't think Ruth saw a split finger fastball, back in the day.
John, you're probably right. He probably didn't see that.
What the Babe saw, on an average day, were balls soaked in tobacco juice, or emory juice, or licorice. Balls that been grooved and scratched and cuts by masters at the craft. Baseballs that were not regularly replaced, and hence were often covered with dirty, and wobbly, and loose-covered, and barely visible coming out of the late evening gloom unbroken by any stadium lights.
He saw all those pitches, and he hit them. He hit every major-league pitcher there was in his time, and in the many exhibitions against players of color—and the Babe probably played more of them than any man alive. Games that were often played much more intensely than any regular-season game, and in those contests people were able to find records for he hit .455.
He hit them all despite having fewer off-days than anyone else in the game. Because he was the big attraction, the Babe was expected to play in all the podunk exhibitions the Yanks filled in every open date with. That is, he was expected to play the whole game, often pitch, march with the band, pose for endless pictures in funny costumes, and tussle with the kids who inevitably ran out to the outfield to mob him.
He hit playing in the itchy, thick wool uniforms all players had in those days. He played with no more air-conditioning that the cabbage leaf he would sometimes put on his head to cool himself down.
He played without a DH position to rest on—and for most of his career, played a very good outfield. He played without PEDs (unless you count bourbon), and after 24-hour train rides, and no sort of modern training, and all-night rampages, and constant car accidents, and generally living life bigger, higher, and harder than anything Mr. John Smoltz with his split-finger fastball can possibly imagine.
From personal observation, you're lucky if *one* of the kids wants to help you more than they want an inheritance. The main reason most of them visit is to check and see if they'll be getting a life insurance check soon.
My nieces and nephews all want to visit when I spend the winters in nice toasty climates. And I only like a few of them.
Speaking of 1966, that's the year when John Smoltz was conceived. Too bad his father didn't jack off in the toilet bowl instead, but the acid he was on must have told him to procreate. Life is a bitch.
"Ottavino fills me with dread." - Is that not a line straight out of the bard of Avon? Sounds like him to me.
Does anyone remember how Smoltz whined after Game 3 of the 1999 Series? "We can't beat them. If we couldn't beat them tonight, we just can't beat them." I didn't dream that, did I?
The train to Groovy Uvie absolutely sucks. It is not unusual to be bused for part of the route. They removed the lines between Rutland (Rutville to me) and Burlington years ago, so the only way is through Hartford, Brattleboro, White River, Montpelier on the local -- that is it sucks. 9 hours of pain (cue Dr. Smith).
You can only get to Rutville on the Albany line and need to get the last 80 miles on your own. And you're dropped off in VT's version of an opium den.
And for my part, I will say that John Smoltz was a pretty fair country pitcher in his day. He was a great starter AND a great reliever, and completely deserved his place in the Hall of Fame.
Which is why it meant all the more when we beat him.
I believe it was Cecil Fielder who drove in the winning run in that game in 1996. And while I suspect John Smoltz might have struck out Babe Ruth a few times with that split-fingered fastball—THE PITCH THAT EXCEEDETH ALL OTHER PITCHES!—I also think that if, well, he couldn't get out Cecil Fielder when he had to maybe, just maybe, The Babe might've hit a home run or two off him.
IF HE HAS TO PLAY, (WHICH IS KIND OF RIDICULOUS, BEING HE HASN'T ALL SEASON), THEN AT LEAST BAT HIM 6TH OR 7TH. GLEYBER NEEDS TO BE BEFORE HIM.
HE KEEPS GETTING UP WITH GUYS ALL OVER THE BASES, AND ALMOST LOOKS OVERWHELMED AND OVER MATCHED AT THE PLATE,
THANK GOD HE'S LAYING OFF PITCHES. THE PROBLEM IS HE IS JUST STANDING THERE LETTING PITCH AFTER PITCH GO PAST HIM, AND SOME OF THOSE PITCHES COULD HAVE JUST AS WELL BEEN CALLED STRIKES WITH ANOTHER UMPIRE.
WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER TO PLAY MAYBIN IN LEFT?
STANTON CAN'T FIELD, AND NOW SOMETHING ELSE DETRIMENTAL TO THE TEAM HAS OPENED UP WITH HIM.
HE CAN'T RUN.
2 DAYS IN A ROW HE HAS HIT A LITTLE DRIBBLER THAT SEEMED TO TAKE FOREVER FOR THE 3RD BASEMAN TO FIELD. HE WAS OUT BOTH TIMES.
OTHER THAN STANTON, WE ARE CLICKING.
HE IS LIKE A BAD PENNY THAT KEEPS APPEARING, ESPECIALLY WITH RISP.
P.S.) HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SHOT AGAINST ANY OF THE ASTROS STARTING RIGHT HANDERS. NONE.
Stanton runs to first like he has to change trains to get there. And you know a ball will find him in left, in a key situation.
But Sanchez looks even worse at the plate. I swear, that was the key to today's game. I couldn't believe that Twins busher yelling at the ump. What do you want, you fool? You're the one who hit Sanchez when he had absolutely zero chance to get a hit!
I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821 God bless you I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.
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I'm starting to have a good feeling about this game.
ReplyDeleteGives you an idea how far they have fallen when we are delighted that:
ReplyDelete—Stanton can work a walk or hit a sac fly.
—Sanchez can get hit by a pitch or walk.
Also, not sure who has more chutzpah:
ReplyDelete—Tyler Duffy, who has been hit so hard he is in danger of getting fans injured, complaining that he did' get a borderline strike call.
—Sanchez, complaining over a borderline strike call. That was a strike.
Uh-oh. They're showing shots of Coops smirking in his box.
ReplyDeleteThe JuJu gods are not amused.
Also, Max Kepler denies absolutely that his grandfather worked on the V-2. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteBrian, Brian
ReplyDeleteBrian, Brian
I'm begging of you please just go to Stan's
Forget Stan's, Coops. Just go away.
ReplyDeleteFOURTH INNING, MOTHERFUCKERS. NOBODY GET COCKY
ReplyDeleteBrian's a known known, unfortunately
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete13bit:
For a moment there, I thought you were ALL CAPS.
I knew it wasn't him, however, because the post didn't end with "KILL ME NOW."
FWIW, when ALL CAPS writes that it makes me laugh almost every time.
I see a red door and I want it painted black. no colors anymore, I want them to turn back. I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes. I see a line of cars and they're all painted black. with flowers and my love both never to come back I see people turn their heads and quickly look away. like a newborn baby it just happens every day. I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door and must have it pained black. maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts. it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, "Kill Me Now" is one of my life, but who am I to question ALL CAPS?
ReplyDelete13bit - are you suddenly nostalgic for 1966?
ReplyDeleteAustrian Fan, who isn't?
ReplyDeleteCam unnerving Trailer Park Smeltzer.
ReplyDeleteI'm on the New York state Thruway heading home from visiting one of the spawn who is now a freshman at U of Vermont. All I have is MLB gameday and all of you. It is sufficient.
ReplyDeleteOttavino fills me with dread.
ReplyDeleteSmoltz can suck it until he chokes and gags.
ReplyDelete3-1 now on Gonzalez. He can't seem to find the plate.
ReplyDeleteAll right.
ReplyDeleteI never had the urge to have a kid. My wife is the same. We find the desire to be a parent kind of mysterious and strange. Even though statistically, we're the strange ones.
ReplyDeleteStrange, ain't it? You can't predict humans.
Or baseball JM. Or baseball.
ReplyDeleteI was following game on my phone. Why did they pinch run for Stanton up 7 runs?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI never had the urge to have a kid. My wife is the same.
This means when you're both retired and in your dotage, the only person who will come visit you at Hebrew Home at Riverdale will be John Sterling. He's been there; it's like a college campus.
JM, I'm with you.
ReplyDeleteWinnie, Groovy Uvie brings back memories. Sort of hazy memories.
I can fortunately listen to the Master and Suzyn and don't have to list to that ahole smuckz. He must be positively palpitating about the Yankees cleaning up. Winner of ONE world series.
I mean like I've totally been in this stupid SUV since 5PM. I'm not driving but I'm also NOT drinking. Doing this game sober.
ReplyDeleteFrom the passenger seat.
ReplyDeleteThat's true, LBJ. I hear it's exactly like a college campus.
ReplyDeleteMy wife is 12 years younger than me. Shell visit me. I think.
Warbler, I take it that you are referring to Smoltz's inane ramblings about Babe Ruth. And I agree.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you who missed it, Smoltz was asked a teasing question about how he would have fared against Babe Ruth. He replied that he didn't think Ruth saw a split finger fastball, back in the day.
John, you're probably right. He probably didn't see that.
What the Babe saw, on an average day, were balls soaked in tobacco juice, or emory juice, or licorice. Balls that been grooved and scratched and cuts by masters at the craft. Baseballs that were not regularly replaced, and hence were often covered with dirty, and wobbly, and loose-covered, and barely visible coming out of the late evening gloom unbroken by any stadium lights.
He saw all those pitches, and he hit them. He hit every major-league pitcher there was in his time, and in the many exhibitions against players of color—and the Babe probably played more of them than any man alive. Games that were often played much more intensely than any regular-season game, and in those contests people were able to find records for he hit .455.
He hit them all despite having fewer off-days than anyone else in the game. Because he was the big attraction, the Babe was expected to play in all the podunk exhibitions the Yanks filled in every open date with. That is, he was expected to play the whole game, often pitch, march with the band, pose for endless pictures in funny costumes, and tussle with the kids who inevitably ran out to the outfield to mob him.
He hit playing in the itchy, thick wool uniforms all players had in those days. He played with no more air-conditioning that the cabbage leaf he would sometimes put on his head to cool himself down.
He played without a DH position to rest on—and for most of his career, played a very good outfield. He played without PEDs (unless you count bourbon), and after 24-hour train rides, and no sort of modern training, and all-night rampages, and constant car accidents, and generally living life bigger, higher, and harder than anything Mr. John Smoltz with his split-finger fastball can possibly imagine.
Wait, Winnie. Sober? What?
ReplyDeleteThis is why God invented trains. Drink and travel is a good match.
LBJ,
ReplyDeleteFrom personal observation, you're lucky if *one* of the kids wants to help you more than they want an inheritance. The main reason most of them visit is to check and see if they'll be getting a life insurance check soon.
My nieces and nephews all want to visit when I spend the winters in nice toasty climates. And I only like a few of them.
Smoltz can suck it until he chokes and gags tears.
ReplyDeleteHoss, I was thinking similar thoughts when I heard Sour Grapes make that assinine statement. What a smug, hateful bastard.
ReplyDeleteSmoltz can suck it until he chokes and gags tears until snot and mucus pour out of his mouth.
ReplyDeleteSchmuckz still thinks he played on the best team of all time. He is wrong by about 10 Yankee squads. And he still resents 1996.
ReplyDeleteI hope he drowns in his own vomit tonight at the hotel.
The vomit line made me laugh out loud. Not lol, laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of 1966, that's the year when John Smoltz was conceived. Too bad his father didn't jack off in the toilet bowl instead, but the acid he was on must have told him to procreate. Life is a bitch.
ReplyDelete"Ottavino fills me with dread." - Is that not a line straight out of the bard of Avon? Sounds like him to me.
Horace, that's poetry. It's what they'd say at the start of an episode of Ken Burns's "Baseball"
ReplyDeleteMust have been the brown acid.
ReplyDeleteThe next freakish Twins pitcher is the twitchy meth addict from Bumfuck Holler.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone remember how Smoltz whined after Game 3 of the 1999 Series? "We can't beat them. If we couldn't beat them tonight, we just can't beat them." I didn't dream that, did I?
ReplyDeleteAnd his knee pops out of his socket. What a freakshow.
ReplyDeleteWinnie, I hope you never dream of Smoltz. That would be cruel and unusual punishment for anyone.
ReplyDeleteRufus, that made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteWinnie, Smoltz is the way he is because his daddy's DNA got all rearranged from the LSD.
Boner must be giving Nutsack a good hand job right now.
Okay, I'd better finish my homework. Going to my fifth grade class on Monday.
I was in Atlanta for Game 5 of the 96 Serues, the 1-0 Pettitte-Smoltz game. Such a great game.
ReplyDeleteRocco has to change pitchers because vdown by seven with two outs in the bottom but of the eighth.
ReplyDeleteBern, I'm green.
ReplyDeleteEither I'm bad at texting or my thumb feels the martinis tonight.
ReplyDeleteThe Yankees were definitely taking a piss on Minnesota by letting Tyler Lyons pitch.
ReplyDeleteI had tickets for game 5 of the 1999 WS. š¤·
ReplyDeleteOh my, the Yankees are just mocking the Twins! They put Lasagna in!
ReplyDeleteOh, that's who that is. That is mockery of a high order.
ReplyDeleteThis is the last thing you want in a blowout win--a lingering ninth that creates hope.
ReplyDeleteWe need a new pitcher.
ReplyDeleteIt'll give more embarrassment than hope.
ReplyDeleteFinally. And Sano looked like a clueless fat ass striking out.
ReplyDeleteAnother BIG win.
ReplyDeleteAhh-AHAHAH-DidiDidiDidi-AAAAAAAA-AaaaĆ aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Thhhuuuhuhuhuhuhjuhuhuh Yankees WIN!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGet home safely, Winnie.
ReplyDeleteI'll be 64 in three hours and 15 minutes. Please, no gifts. Unless you can fix the Giants game so they win.
Waiter! Waiter, can you please take this Lasagna back? It’s rotten.
ReplyDeleteJM,
ReplyDeleteThe train to Groovy Uvie absolutely sucks. It is not unusual to be bused for part of the route. They removed the lines between Rutland (Rutville to me) and Burlington years ago, so the only way is through Hartford, Brattleboro, White River, Montpelier on the local -- that is it sucks. 9 hours of pain (cue Dr. Smith).
You can only get to Rutville on the Albany line and need to get the last 80 miles on your own. And you're dropped off in VT's version of an opium den.
Thanks, guys.
ReplyDeleteAnd for my part, I will say that John Smoltz was a pretty fair country pitcher in his day. He was a great starter AND a great reliever, and completely deserved his place in the Hall of Fame.
Which is why it meant all the more when we beat him.
I believe it was Cecil Fielder who drove in the winning run in that game in 1996. And while I suspect John Smoltz might have struck out Babe Ruth a few times with that split-fingered fastball—THE PITCH THAT EXCEEDETH ALL OTHER PITCHES!—I also think that if, well, he couldn't get out Cecil Fielder when he had to maybe, just maybe, The Babe might've hit a home run or two off him.
ReplyDeleteA fine, fine, most satisfying opening to the ALDS.
Don't let this all go to your heads, people.
ReplyDeleteWe survived a Tyler Lyons appearance...
ReplyDelete2 DOWN, 9 TO GO.
ReplyDeleteMY TAKE?
STANTON IS GONNA KILL US IN THAT 5 HOLE.
IF HE HAS TO PLAY, (WHICH IS KIND OF RIDICULOUS, BEING HE HASN'T ALL SEASON), THEN AT LEAST BAT HIM 6TH OR 7TH. GLEYBER NEEDS TO BE BEFORE HIM.
HE KEEPS GETTING UP WITH GUYS ALL OVER THE BASES, AND ALMOST LOOKS OVERWHELMED AND OVER MATCHED AT THE PLATE,
THANK GOD HE'S LAYING OFF PITCHES. THE PROBLEM IS HE IS JUST STANDING THERE LETTING PITCH AFTER PITCH GO PAST HIM, AND SOME OF THOSE PITCHES COULD HAVE JUST AS WELL BEEN CALLED STRIKES WITH ANOTHER UMPIRE.
WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER TO PLAY MAYBIN IN LEFT?
STANTON CAN'T FIELD, AND NOW SOMETHING ELSE DETRIMENTAL TO THE TEAM HAS OPENED UP WITH HIM.
HE CAN'T RUN.
2 DAYS IN A ROW HE HAS HIT A LITTLE DRIBBLER THAT SEEMED TO TAKE FOREVER FOR THE 3RD BASEMAN TO FIELD. HE WAS OUT BOTH TIMES.
OTHER THAN STANTON, WE ARE CLICKING.
HE IS LIKE A BAD PENNY THAT KEEPS APPEARING, ESPECIALLY WITH RISP.
P.S.) HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SHOT AGAINST ANY OF THE ASTROS STARTING RIGHT HANDERS. NONE.
Agreed, ALL-CAPS.
ReplyDeleteStanton runs to first like he has to change trains to get there. And you know a ball will find him in left, in a key situation.
But Sanchez looks even worse at the plate. I swear, that was the key to today's game. I couldn't believe that Twins busher yelling at the ump. What do you want, you fool? You're the one who hit Sanchez when he had absolutely zero chance to get a hit!
But hey, two wins is two wins!
The Rays look as if they could beat the Astros. If the Astros had to start every play from a sitting position. And played without gloves.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.